Is it me or the job?

thekid007

Hi everyone,

Awhile back I made a post regarding a position I was contemplating taking. You can read that thread here:
http://www.techexams.net/forums/jobs-degrees/97728-would-good-job-fresh-grad.html

Well, I'm three months in, and I'm not enjoying very much at all. I'm not sure if it's ME or the job. I'm aware of my own sensitivities/social anxieties and what not, but that being said, I've been told I have very good soft skills...anyways here's the issue. I think I genuinely don't enjoy my position. Or is it just my nerves?

I don't like my job because its basically all helpdesk. Didn't know that coming in. My official position is network adm junior. I've been in helpdesk in a past job for about a year and a half. I went back to school to study an advanced networking program so I could move up in network admin and away from helpdesk. When I interviewed for this position, I knew there would be some helpdesk (like 50%) because its an internal office, but its turning out this is 99% helpdesk. To be honest, I didn't feel super great about the position, it was my first real offer in the working world, a salary position, and I thought, I'm broke, take it. So I did out of moreso desperation rather than "I'd really like to work here." Seemed opportunity to learn.

The thing is, its usually not busy so sometimes (for hours) I'm staring at my screen and feel like my brain is frying. Now either I'm complaining, or this is a legitimate annoyance...I try to keep busy by doing other things, but I really feel like I'm not learning much. Everything I'm learning is user-support, and it's getting to me. Watching the clock tick by is unbearable at times...Often times the tickets I get are like 'I can't close my excel' or 'how do you line up these bullet points.' Sometimes I have other tasks like assembling a table for new hires, or cleaning the server room because my colleagues are messy. That's okay with me, although not preferable.

On the OTHER hand, I'm being paid okay, I have a job at least. There's some opportunity to play around with a test server that has VMWare...it's pretty much an all Linux environment, although I don't do much Linux in my job, if any, just setting up key pairs, but theres no administration aside from GUI software, and creating user accounts, and password resetting. but at the same time, I just don't feel I fit into the culture of this place (think silicon valley tech start-up). I'm not super into tech. I like problem solving and DOING things, working with my hands. I'd like to set up a switch some time. This is more high-maintenance developers and engineers. Maybe an MSP is better for me so I can learn deployment and architecture.

I feel fortunate I have a job, and the company I work for has been very nice/accommodating (giving me some perks like business cards after a month), but at the same time, its kind of weird because the perks kicked in fast. I was made 'lead' helpdesk for the ticketing system we use pretty much on the first day, and that was never discussed when I got hired.

I found out my boss is leaving for an extended vacation, so it seems like they needed to hire someone who could essentially cover him. We get along okay, but not that well. We're civil with each other and professional - which is perfectly fine with me. I have begun to feel nervous going to work in the morning/dreading it. Every day I feel just like saying 'sorry but today is my last day, this is not for me.' This mentality fluctuates depending on if the day was busy. I noticed if the day is busy or I have things to do, I feel better.

I'm not a super optimistic person (read: can be negative), but there's so many other issues personal that are not related to this forum, I need to 'think' on a professional level. My gut tells me drop it, but I think a lot, and in the past used to have a tendency to quit things I didn't like, so I'm avoiding the 'quitting' behavior. And make sure I'm making healthy decisions.

Advice? Thanks.

yzT

Instead of counting clock's tick, why don't you use that time to do something productive? Prepare for certs, improve the infrastructure, etc.

For instance, when I started at my past job I was at the same situation, bored as hell. Then I started by my own initiative to perform security analysis and I found out the security was screwed, so I assume the duties to manage everything related to security, becoming a security engineer within a couple of weeks.

markulous

I agree with yzt. I work at a help desk and there's some downtime involved for sure. Right now I'm studying for my Security+ and it's nice getting paid to study.

JoJoCal19

If you have downtime, absolutely study! Don't waste that time. If its not a place where you can openly study a book, get a Safari Books subscription. That's what I did. I also agree with taking the initiative to find and solve problems. Employers love the words "value added".

Chitownjedi

Or if you have Kindle you can read on the cloud reader app on your monitor. Sounds like you are in a good position to learn Linux (Which is very valuable regardless of how you feel about it) and maybe study during your downtime.... Sounds like not a bad spot to be in right now

cyberguypr

What others have said about the down time is true; find something to do. Period. But it's obvious that is not the main issue here.

I think someone in this deal wasn't truthful. In your other post you mentioned the position ad being a Jr Network/Sys admin. i don't see any of that here. i think one of two things happened: they are trying you out before they give you keys to the kingdom, or...wait for it...they misrepresented the gig and you walked right into a trap. Either way, you'll have to find out which one it os before you make your next move.

Before you started you should've asked what your milestones would be for the first 30-60-90 days. You should've also asked when performance would be reviewed within that timeframe. Correct me if I'm wrong but a have a feeling you didn't do this. Even if that is the case, in my opinion the correct approach would be calling a meeting before your boss tames off so you can discuss this. Professionally and politely present how things do not appear to be what you discussed. They can't read minds so tell them what you expectations were and how reality doesn't align with this. Based on the output you get, you can plan your next move.

Clevernamehere

JoJoCal19 wrote: »

If you have downtime, absolutely study! Don't waste that time. If its not a place where you can openly study a book, get a Safari Books subscription. That's what I did. I also agree with taking the initiative to find and solve problems. Employers love the words "value added".

You would think but at my current employer a couple of us have got our yearly reviews back clearly marked with the words "Too Much Initiative." I kid you not.

ande0255

I had a job that was just standard helpdesk application support for a sales force, and I had so much downtime that I was cleared to even watch Netflix if I wanted to by management, and I absolutely hated it.

Even with the down time to study, studying something that I was not working with, on top of the fact that I felt I was hardly working at all really bugged me.

I remember my situation led to a painful bout of anxiety as well, I'd say GTFO of that position if you can't move up in responsibilities, I was so happy when I left my 'going absolutely nowhere' position.

markulous

Clevernamehere wrote: »

You would think but at my current employer a couple of us have got our yearly reviews back clearly marked with the words "Too Much Initiative." I kid you not.

If I heard that about me, I'd be trying to suck up as much info and studying as I could there and move on. Unless I'm trying to stab people in the back to move up (which I am not), that's a bit ridiculous.

Chitownjedi

ande0255 wrote: »

I had a job that was just standard helpdesk application support for a sales force, and I had so much downtime that I was cleared to even watch Netflix if I wanted to by management, and I absolutely hated it.

Even with the down time to study, studying something that I was not working with, on top of the fact that I felt I was hardly working at all really bugged me.

I remember my situation led to a painful bout of anxiety as well, I'd say GTFO of that position if you can't move up in responsibilities, I was so happy when I left my 'going absolutely nowhere' position.

I totally agree, but do you think that he can leverage some additional time just to make it not look so bad after 3-months only?

Could you not last till 6-8 months, study up on their time, while of course excelling at your responsibilities, and save up to put yourself in the best position possible. Usually if you let the disappointment of just not being mentally stimulate make you move on as fast as possible, you may not see that you are in a very powerful position right now.

iBrokeIT

Yes, I agree with you that you were possibly decieved a little about the position you were hired into. Being a professional means making the most and getting the most out of the situation were dealt even if it is less than ideal.

So you have been there 3 months and you want out, I get it. Starting at the bottom sucks and helpdesk work is soulcrushing. Time to start coming up with an exit plan where you can get the most out your current situation. Remember, work experiece is king in the IT world! Are there any projects you can work on that would build up your resume for your next job? Ask your boss. Have a metting with him, discuss your downtime and tell him you want to be challenged more professionally.

I assume there is some sort of Engineer or Sr Administrator there? Take them out lunch and ask them what they are working on. Express an interest in some of those things and ask if there are any projects you can assist with or take off their plate. Maybe take ownership of the test environment. Take responsiblity for your happiness and professional developement at this job. Don't just wait for things to fall into your lap, seek them out.

Check the job boards daily during your downtime and look at the certs and skills for the roles you want to be in. Now find away at your current job to gain some of those skills and study for those certs during your downtime.

Do that for 9 months and you will be in a great position if you still feel the same way about your current job. DO NOT just quit your first IT job 3 months in with nothing else lined up. When you leave that job make sure you have no regrets that you did everything in your power to make the most out of it and get the most out of it.

Chitownjedi

This^^^

thekid007

super helpful. i will respond to these comments later tonight to clarify a few issues/questions some posters had. thank you again.

- kid

binarysoul

Bring a novel or two to read...But don't read too much into your situation...Don't overthink. Take it easy; down the road you will find a way.

Cerebro

Tip* (Also aimed at myself)

Get everything in writing. I moved from a MSP into a second line role...however the training proposed was rescinded due to lack to funding...when I know there is funding available.

I am not even allowed to study on my downtime...*bangs head on wall* I am working longer hours and earning less than before. All I can say is try to cert up as fast as you can, hit it haaard. In the words of Eric Thomas "I CAN...I WILL...I MUST"

LionelTeo

You really can't ask much for your first job. It's usually horrible in some ways. 2 Years back on my first job, I begin to realise this and the importance of preparing myself, I studied hard and got myself a bunch of certs. Eventually it paid off and I get to slowly pick for jobs and enviroment I am itnerested in, and got into an ideal salary and position. You can take sometime and reflect on this as well, whether if you would like your future enviroment to be the same, coming from that point, its time to start preparing for certs so that you could easily qualify for any position and get into the better ones.

thekid007

Hi all I will try to respond to some of these comments.

- i have been actually using safari online books as the senior it admin requested it a week after hiring. There's three of us.
- in my spare time I read safari or try to learn programming. I did this the whole day yesterday pretty much.
- I've tried many times to give input or ask if I can help out with their tasks. I.e. help create server documentation,etc. But every time this was blatantly ignored or said not needed.
- a while back a bunch of tickets were made regarding a.v. and backup stuff. I looked and suggested some solutions as the tickets were assigned to me. However my suggestions were ignored and I pretty much realized after that the solutions were already chosen..in hindsight I believe these tickets were made and assigned to me to make me feel or make it look like I was busy. That's the only thing that makes sense to me. Also because it was said in my interview I would be doing that but it never happened.maybe that's why.
- since my boss is leaving for a long vacation and im pretty much the only one covering him, i asked if there were more things i needed to learn, i was told no. I was told in my first month I knew enough already to handle the office on my own.
- my tasks have been all mainly user support. Swapping a monitor cable, help with a program, creating accounts, password resets, new hire brief orientation supporting av conference.. At the beginning I helped setup a Linux box but that was about it...installing some packages.
- my supervisor and I barely talk unless its business which is fine. The first month I tried making conversation but pretty much gave up after that. We sit on open long tables so personally its a Lil awkward but whatever. He's now moving seats to sit on the other side of the office with his friend...whatever. Not my prob Right?
- I asked for feedback and never really got any other than a good job. Yesterday I was asked by supervisor how I am liking my job as I feel they are sensing perhaps I'm bored out of my mind and just don't feel right. I said its alright as I not sure if honesty will be worth it.
- don't want to complain I know I'm fortunate. Just not sure, feel its not the right fit and feel out of place. Hate going everyday. Was hoping to tough it out for at least 6 months but just feel miserable. Maybe its just me...

darkerz

I want you to answer honestly,

Are you absolutely perfect & proficient at your current role? If you were to get a review, would you have no flaws, pain points, etc?

Stick with it and gain the experience. Become the absolute SME & perfectionist - 100%, 100% of the time.

That's usually when I know it's time for me to move on.

cyberguypr

Wow! After all this complaining you had the perfect chance to voice your concerns and didn't do it. I just don't know what to say.

BoneSpur

No job is perfect, nor is a company going to be perfect in the way it operates. Do not get hung up on your job title. It sounds like that is the title they give to someone that will do the 'other' IT jobs no one else wants to do.

Find a way to motivate yourself. Bring in some sort of IT cert book to work that you are interested in learning. This can be used as a conversation piece. If your boss asks about it, that is your queue to man up and tell him what you want to learn.

I have been in a job I absolutely hated. I only took it because it was close to home and the family. I toughed it out a year and then found another job that I am much more happy at. Your co-workers will soon pick up on your body signals that you don't want to be there. You may get sabotaged. Use this as a valuable learning lesson.

What is holding you back is you, not the company...

kohr-ah

You need to change your thought pattern.

I was the exact same way. Heck I am still the same way. My life has been such a living get torment that I think negatively most the time but here is the thing. It. Is. All. In. Your. Head.

Every job has something you can take away from it. Ask for more responsibilities and of all else fails study and move on. But.... You have to make it 6 months at minimum. Job sucks? Say f it and remember it is just a job. It won't be your last and go home. Focus on the positives more than the negatives.

My job sucks. We are outsourced like mad . I have to consistently restudy my ccnp material but it pays really well. Am I learn as much as I like. NOPE. but I do now know architecture better and am optimizing their network.

This is how I am taking something away from it. I am redoing their network to be better documented and better laid out. After my next little one is born I'll move on.

Remember the only limitation is you and there is always something you can learn.

thekid007

- no I'm not perfect at my job. But unless its a new program even then, usually I can figure out the solutions. Quickly since its user end stuff anyway.
- after I read cyber guy response I felt stupid and had lunch with my supervisor, and explained the situation with hesitation.

I didn't want to complain but said that I don't quite feel settled maybe cuz its my first position, but also cuz I can get quite bored sometimes although I find other things to keep busy. It is what it is i said...He asked what I want to do which I knew he would ask but here's the thing I don't even know myself completely other than I'd like to learn how to choose and deploy hardware depending on situation which I know wouldn't be really possible in such a small env. He said to let him know what I want to do, I offered to do documentation for him or the engineers or in this area because I think it would be a good way to learn without slowing anyone down. He said maybe, but if I do, then I have to own it, and I can't change my mind, which is fair.

He also said I lack confidence, its the second time or third time he said it, which is probably true because I know how to do things but Im hesitant sometimes with big issues.. Sort of sucks to hear from someone who is your supervisor yet is younger than you (I'm in mid twenties). The other time he said it was when the network was down and after it fixed we had lunch and he said, if that happens when I'm gone, I interrupted and said I have no clue what to do! Which wasn't great to say but I was just being honest because I don't know the ips of the rack hardware nor have ever set any of that up from scratch. Which is why I feel inconfident and feel its justified. I don't like bullshitting my way through things or pretending to know something.
- I am trying my best to stick to 6 month plan. I just have so much social/anxiety and feel I don'tfit in with my supervisor or his crew. Which is fine because I get along with everyone else and people like me, just feel my immediate team is cliquey and this makes me uncomfortable and feel out of place. I've always had trouble 'fitting in' since school days...ha

I've had these similar issues in past and I know its related to me as a person. That being said I had a blast in my networking program because I worked in that class with a very good group, who were genuine and honest and straightforward. I also like working on my own or in a good team, and don't like being customer or client facing so much. But I kind of know that already and that's why I sort of chose networking.

Someone mentioned the title thing, and I don't even care about titles, in fact in my interview i was asked about titles, and i said that I don't care about that,, and i said i need to be mentally stimulated. In fact i even told them the reason i didnt take the offer from my practicum work term host was because it was too slow and not much opportunity to learn.. They said there was no shortage of things to do here and would be very busy. Which now seems plain b.s. and kind of weird for a startup. In fact I thought that was b.s. from when I saw the office and spoke briefly to some people there in my early days but I stuck with it...cuz I needed the dough. And that's MY fault.

Had my position been labelled help desk admin accurately, I would never have applied. I now feel slightly stuck as my stint thus far looks too short in a resume. I will try to use this as lesson in sticking with something I might not like. Although it is difficult because I've done a lot of things in life I don't like and I just keep attracting that into my life.some say their first job sucked and i get that, and Ive had tons of tough experiences. Thanks for the suggestions I appreciate it and take everyone's suggestions seriously.

My problem is I don't know how to follow my heart. Think too much.

Thanks again.

kohr-ah

After reading your response. First off it is good they are talking to you.


Confidence is a hard thing to learn. Dont worry it takes time and hopefully in time you will go into things like an arrogant doctor. Believe in yourself is the first step. They dont expect you to understand everything so dont figure you need to. We learn by mistakes. Hell I took a network of 1800 college kids down for a full day because my work (MSP) wouldn't send anyone to help me. I learned it. I owned it. I became the expert in it and from that point on was known as the contact for Cisco CAS in the entire company. Stress level over 9000 while it was going on.


No one here can tell you how to fix this but here is what I can suggest. Step 1 - Fix confidence. Go in there like "I own this b****"
I dont care if you understand or not what the company is laid out like. Learn it. Learn Linux on the side. Spin up a Linux VM. Show them you have the skills.


Now why? Because if they feel you are confident they will give you more work. Show you can own it, then ask for harder work. Ask for access to the linux systems. Ask to help with networking. Do the help desk stuff and slowly fade it out and move up.


You want to do documentation? Do it. Own it. Decimate it. Show them you have the ability to do it. Not only will it help you here it will help you down the road in confidence.


Next Step - Try to not look at this as help desk admin. Look outside of that. Besides what you do on a daily basis. What is there you can learn or grow to do? What capabilities are there? If you step up what can you do to build to that job (not saying you aren't doing a good job)


How to follow your heart. This isn't hard to do. This is very easy. This is what I was saying before.
What do you ultimately want to do?
What can you take away from this job to get to that future?
What will it take to make you happy?
How can you build to hit those goals?
How can you further yourself?


Let me put it this way.We all have our personal forms of hell.


I made it. I moved forward and one thing i do is look at others. Look how much better I have it than other people and how can i further myself?


It is all in your mind. If you keep in the current mind set. It is going to be a s***ty 40 years ahead of you and I am not trying to be mean about it or pushy. I am saying to change your mindset will take time. It isn't instantaneous but if you can do little by little it will help you a lot and push for the future.


</rant and drop the mic> (btw i mean this in no harsh way just saying, learn, confidence, grow, move on in time). Have a bad day at work? Feel free to PM me. Want to rant? PM me. But honestly, you need to change your mindset because if you dont every job after still wont meet your standard. (How do I know. I been there)

Cerebro

This has been very interesting to read. I have been told by my line manager that I try too hard, and that I am too assertive lol. I found it funny when he said this. I have worked really hard on my confidence, my last gig was a MSP and I had to be confident in dealing with people. Just keep studying and earning those certifications, there will always be people who want to put you down...mostly because they are forced to question themselves. But one thing they cant take away, is your drive and knowledge.

JoJoCal19

cyberguypr wrote: »

Wow! After all this complaining you had the perfect chance to voice your concerns and didn't do it. I just don't know what to say.

Trust me, being honest like that is not always a positive thing. Sometimes if the manager gets an answer they don't like, they could easily show you the door. As he stated, when he brings up something he is usually rebuffed, so like he said, not worth it.

Chev Chellios

kohr-ah you have inspired me that's for sure dude! Think we've all been in the same place as thekid007 in our first IT roles. Stick at it man and get what you can out of it whilst studying for whatever certs interest you

thekid007

Might pull the plug today...although I think that everyday...I've had crap help desk before in my job before the networking program I went into 2-3 years ago...But that was less demanding and we had an office at least..no cubicle either here just long tables in a big room...will fill in later...end of lunchtime...I tend to venture out and spend them on my own as I find I need alone time...

kohr-ah

thekid007 wrote: »

Might pull the plug today...although I think that everyday...I've had crap help desk before in my job before the networking program I went into 2-3 years ago...But that was less demanding and we had an office at least..no cubicle either here just long tables in a big room...will fill in later...end of lunchtime...I tend to venture out and spend them on my own as I find I need alone time...

If you are miserable go find a new job, it is better than causing life harms (Like being severely depressed). Life is too short. Just dont lose this job in the mean time. Wherever you go though make sure it is a place you will stay for a while no matter what. One short hop wont hurt and it may take you a while to find a new job.

Take walks at lunch. Get outside and breath a bit. Do what it takes to keep sanity but don't let it show at your work it will only cause more issues.

coreyb80

@kohr-ah had to be one of the most positive individuals on this board.

kohr-ah

coreyb80 wrote: »

@kohr-ah had to be one of the most positive individuals on this board.

I am not all the time ^_^ but I had to learn to be. Cant dwell on all the negative things because if I do I will give myself a heart attack (my family suffers from them). I'm only 32. I have a long work journey to go.

petedude

iBrokeIT wrote: »

Yes, I agree with you that you were possibly decieved a little about the position you were hired into. Being a professional means making the most and getting the most out of the situation were dealt even if it is less than ideal.
. . .

If it was a large firm, then HR might not have understood what the job entailed and simply picked the best-sounding title they could come up with.