Social Gaffes that can cost you your job

What social gaffes (or mistakes) can make you lose your job? Early in IT careers, people don't have much experience and can say things or make expressions that they later regret. More experienced IT professionals are less likely to make social mistakes.

I was thinking that asking your supervisor "What are you doing?" or asking an HR person you see down the hallway "Is there any way I can get pay as an intern?" can lead to risky situations.

I think more people should be aware of this early on in their careers. What are your opinions on this?

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tpatt100

This didn't cost me my job but made me get noticed by the site supervisor.

"Anything going on?"

"Nope"

"Anything you could be doing?"

"None that I can think of sir"

stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.........

Jon_Cisco

I think the hardest thing for young people to do is ask for help.
In your early 20s it feels like you know everything.

Try to be humble and appreciate what your older workers can teach you about work and life. There is a lot more to a career then being the best technical person in the room. Sometimes it's hard to see that when you first start out.

UnixGuy

It didn't cost me my job, but I learned not to friend anyone at work on facebook or any social media. If they add you, ignore it!

PurpleIT

UnixGuy wrote: »

It didn't cost me my job, but I learned not to friend anyone at work on facebook or any social media. If they add you, ignore it!

Yeah, I wish I had thought it through before I accepted a couple of "friends" from work. I now have to be extra careful about what I post and some days, dammit, I just want to vent. My new policy is not to accept any current coworkers; if you or I quit then i will think about it.

Master Of Puppets

I think I said this a long time ago but I've actually been asked some strange things on an interview. The company does research on social media on candidates they are thinking of hiring and they checked out my Facebook profile. As a 20 year old, I had some pictures with different girls doing things that may be considered inappropriate. I didn't start there and I don't think it would have cost me the job but they still mentioned it.

MrAgent

I am ok with co-workers adding me on Facebook. I have a separate group for them, so they see only things intended for co-workers. Most stuff I post goes to close friends and family.

citrus_sugar

Except for LinkedIn, and that's not somewhere that I post anything personal anyway.

As far as face to face social interactions, I can get passionate about a subject and accidentally curse, but I've cut down on that compared to when I first started in an office setting.

I'm just going to point this out as something I've observed anecdotally as a female working in a mostly male field; I have observed definite instances of misogyny and general bigotry just from not wanting to be politically correct and not something that is malicious in intent, however when leaving the "safe space" of the IT office that attitude has to be left behind or HR will be called by those not as understanding to non-PC statements.

DissonantData

UnixGuy wrote: »

It didn't cost me my job, but I learned not to friend anyone at work on facebook or any social media. If they add you, ignore it!

Ha, so this is why my co-worker didn't add me when I tried to friend him. Guess I learn something new everyday!

lsud00d

Don't talk politics and don't talk religion. Also as stated be mindful of your online social presence. Some things are good to be open with (LinkedIn) and some things are not so good to be open with (FB rants).

ccnxjr

Be mindful of the "seniority shield" .
You may find yourself in an entry level role with several people that are making it a career.
Some of them will *seemingly* break rules in front of other "senior" folk.
You may be tempted to follow such behavior, but don't do it unless you fully understand the minutia.
When in doubt ask your supervisor (or HR).
Such as ,
-they may *technically* not be breaking the rule and they walk a fine line.
-they may be already walking a fine line and it's a big hassle to discipline them , (so you may be made an example of)
-simply, their employment terms might be different from yours (eg: flex hours , vs hard start time )

Granted it is unfair, but sometimes you gotta weigh the tradeoff of fighting for a "fairer" policy on snacking near the work bench vs strained relationships.

UnixGuy

PurpleIT wrote: »

Yeah, I wish I had thought it through before I accepted a couple of "friends" from work. I now have to be extra careful about what I post and some days, dammit, I just want to vent. My new policy is not to accept any current coworkers; if you or I quit then i will think about it.

Remove and block them, you don't owe them anything. Someone at work recently asked me "what's my facebook address so he can add me", I answered sarcastically " I don't use facebook" (he saw me on fb on my phone once).

W Stewart

MrAgent wrote: »

I am ok with co-workers adding me on Facebook. I have a separate group for them, so they see only things intended for co-workers. Most stuff I post goes to close friends and family.

Not too sure how well that works. I've got a separate group that all my IT friend post stuff in and I thought nobody could see it until I logged into my wife's facebook. Facebook is constantly changing stuff to strip away your privacy.

xnx

No this is a custom privacy group that you add particular friends too

UnixGuy

W Stewart wrote: »

.... Facebook is constantly changing stuff to strip away your privacy.

^^ this.

so don't bother with groups, too much of a headache if you ask me. I keep facebook for light fun and for organising events with friends. I don't wanna be worried about co-workers.

lsud00d

Facebook is different for the early adopters i.e. college students in the 2004-2009 (?) range. I've had more than one family member comment how a lot of my pictures seem to be at a bar or involve drinking, but that was the only time people took pictures in college!

So...I just don't add anyone work related and luckily they haven't tried to add me up to this point.

MTciscoguy

Facebook????, why in the heck would you go to Facebook while working in corporate environment? The only thing I have ever done while at work was check my work email, period, end of story, don't play games while at work, because the boss is always going to think you are either opening them up to security risks or you are not doing your job, I don't even carry my cell phone when in a place of business and I don't talk on it while I am driving.

Remember, this is your career, you are putting a lot of time and money into to, don't take it for granted! I say this from the perspective of a old guy who has already retired from one career!

puertorico1985

lsud00d wrote: »

Don't talk politics and don't talk religion.

I could not agree more with this. Politics and religion are great to talk about, but these conversations have their time and place. Work is neither the time nor the place for these conversations.

nathandrake

I used to play fantasy football with some co-workers. I was joking around in the "smack talk" section with one of them. I thought we were cool and we joke around with each other often. I guess he didn't like losing, so he printed off the smack talk and took it to HR. HR told me that since this happen outside of the work environment, nothing will happen, but it was still a little embarrassing even getting called into the HR office about it. I no longer socialize with any co workers unless I actually consider them a friend now.

tpatt100

When I worked in the defense sector it was hard to avoid talk of politics but it was bearable because there seemed to be a mix of different personalities and beliefs. Then when I got to one place omg...... It wasn't just a slant it was completely flat on one side. Everybody was using work email to forward political stuff half of it was pretty offensive.

Things changed in my area when I did a reply all "please respect corporate email policies and remove me from these mailings" which got me the affectionate label of "the liberal". No, it's called "being current on technology and knowing that electronic communication is easy to use and easy to get you fired".

pitviper

Yeah, bosses and co-workers on FB is a no no in my book. That's what LinkedIN is for!

I'm constantly getting friend requests from execs - I just ignore the requests (so they can't resend) and add them on LinkedIN.

paul78

DissonantData wrote: »

I was thinking that asking your supervisor "What are you doing?" or asking an HR person you see down the hallway "Is there any way I can get pay as an intern?" can lead to risky situations.

Those types of questions are generally innocuous. But if people just use common sense, it wouldn't be as much of a big deal.

Yes - you can definitely get fired for inappropriate comments. But those would be comments that fall into the realm of creating a hostile workplace which is usually what is cited as the reason for termination. For example, sexist comments, racial slurs, etc. in my book would mean either a dismissal or scrutiny. It's interesting to me to observe certain behaviors which eventually lead to people's terminations. I often wonder - what the heck was that person thinking.

But generally, I think the casual a gaffe is more likely to setup a perception of the individual which sometimes may not be flattering or desirable. I think @tpatt100's example would be the classic one - lol.

@ccnxjr - your comment on "seniority shield" was spot on. If you don't have the same level of relationship with a coworker but you overhear something, it doesn't mean that you can join in.

For myself, I know that I tend to be a bit more on the risky side with my own joking around but I enjoy pushing the envelope as a means to alleviate stress and to just break-things up. But I tend to stick to that type of joking around to people outside of my peer group and only with people who are either more senior than me or at my level. Oddly enough it's usually with people in HR or legal.

One gaffe that I consciously avoid because I am not plugged into the social scene in the office is to never congratulate women whose last name changed unless someone asked me to contribute to a gift first.

Danielm7

I generally act the same way online as I do in person, I try to be mellow and decent. Even with that though, I don't add my current coworkers to Facebook. I've had a few ask and I usually tell them it's just really my family on there and we only use it to share baby pictures and such. It's mostly true really, I have a few old coworkers on there, but I don't really post anything that would be bad even if Facebook's privacy was screwed up and showed it to the world.

Saying that, I wouldn't do separate groups or anything. I just don't trust FB enough to suddenly decide that everyone should share, or just have the privacy options reset and all of a sudden the nice work side and the not so nice outside of work side all collide, no thanks.

it_consultant

DissonantData wrote: »

What social gaffes (or mistakes) can make you lose your job? Early in IT careers, people don't have much experience and can say things or make expressions that they later regret. More experienced IT professionals are less likely to make social mistakes.

I was thinking that asking your supervisor "What are you doing?" or asking an HR person you see down the hallway "Is there any way I can get pay as an intern?" can lead to risky situations.

I think more people should be aware of this early on in their careers. What are your opinions on this?

I have learned not too publicly discuss or mention a coworker's lack of professionalism or work ethic. For example, at my work we have a lot of people that come in late, leave early, "work from home" and generally just take a lot of liberties. I actually don't think that you need to act like you don't notice them doing this. The question is, what do you do when it comes up. For example, one of my coworkers is notorious for this behavior and we needed him at a time he decided not to come in on time and it was obvious that I was frustrated. My director defended him saying "Well he stays late on stuff" which she wouldn't know because she never stays late. At any rate my response was "I don't care, it isn't my job to track these things" which a lot of people would gasp at but that is my personality - blunt.

Now, it actually does bother me that this guy takes all these liberties. Not just because I show up 5 days a week on time, but because there are a ton of people who lose their jobs if they have bring their sick kid to the doctor. In this situation though, dogging him to the boss is not recommended.

tprice5

nathandrake wrote: »

I used to play fantasy football with some co-workers. I was joking around in the "smack talk" section with one of them. I thought we were cool and we joke around with each other often. I guess he didn't like losing, so he printed off the smack talk and took it to HR. HR told me that since this happen outside of the work environment, nothing will happen, but it was still a little embarrassing even getting called into the HR office about it. I no longer socialize with any co workers unless I actually consider them a friend now.

What was the smack talk? I would shun that guy out of existance and bring up his little stunt in front of everyone every chance I got. Even if it didn't fit it in the conversation I would just be like, "Hey do you guys remember that one time Steve was a little ***** and ratted me out to HR because he doesn't know anything about football? Yeah, that was hilarious! Careful what you say around THIS guy". The best part is you stare at him the entire time you are saying this.

Or just don't invite him back to the league next year.

EDIT: I really hope you're smacktalk was something super inappropriate involving poop and his mothers chest. That's an uncomfortable sit down with a most likely female HR rep. She'll be avoiding all eye contact with you now until you or her leave the company.

paul78

tprice5 wrote: »

That's an uncomfortable sit down with a most likely female HR rep. She'll be avoiding all eye contact with you now until you or her leave the company.

LOL - in my experience, the ladies in HR are usually the ones with the most racy comments.

I think it comes with the job from over-exposure to seeing and hearing all the crazy stuff that happens.

lsud00d

@nathandrake, that is a man-card revoke-able offense! What happens in FF stays in FF.

SteveLord

I have some coworkers on Facebook. But I also don't "vent" about work on it either and neither do they. Not being able to control your thoughts/mouth/hands is the real mistake.

Raisin

SteveLord wrote: »

I have some coworkers on Facebook. But I also don't "vent" about work on it either and neither do they. Not being able to control your thoughts/mouth/hands is the real mistake.

I agree, Facebook is a poor place to vent anyways. Just because you don't add coworkers doesn't mean your online antics won't leak out to the wrong person and get you into trouble.