Council of CISSP Elders ---PSYCHOANALYSIS

riyan

Have u ever wonder what they might be doing in psychoanalysis committee and how the it would be decided. I will try to shed a little light.

In a dark room filled with smoke and caffeine aroma, Gang of Five was sitting there. It looked like they are waiting for someone. Name plates against their seat indicate one of them to be group leader, the financial adviser, the security analyst, the legal adviser and a psycho analyst. At last a man entered inside room and handed a paper to group leader.

GL: Guys we have confirmed report, up till now we have 100k CISSP certified on this earth.

FA: Considering Tipton & Shon gone that make it to 100k – 2 = 99,998 x 600 $

Psycho: Is CISSP title eternal or revoked after the death. Can anyone explain it?

Legal: There is one legal requirement of CPE. Mr. Tipton will not be able to submit CPE for subsequent years. So I suggest in bestowing CISSP-RIP status upon him. If we make it eternal then I also suggest making it a hereditary property to be transferred to next KIN something equivalent to Grand-Fathering concept.

GL: This will be the agenda for our next meeting. Currently, we have a situation here. It is alarming that no single CISSP died of any unnatural death. It looks like their life expectancy increases after CISSP status. Very few of them died which we can count on finger. Even I know 80 years old CISSP who is still submitting CPE regularly. Legally we cannot revoke CISSP. So the rate at which people are getting CISSP and the rate at which CISSP cert holder dying are out of control. We need to bring equilibrium here. B/c of this we have to introduce 4^th CBK and do psychoanalysis to set a high bar. Am I right?

FA: It is simply a case of demand and supply. I saw from the report we have very min. CISSP in Mozambique let take some from USA and supply to them.
Psycho: Yup, USA has the highest no. of CISSP alive.

FA: My job is to advice you and asks for the bonus. We can increase profit 200 times, if we set the no. of research question to 50 and apply the regional quota scheme. For USA, set the annual limit and do relative marking on batch. For countries like Mozambique there will be no limit.

SA: How about a lottery system? You guys are unbelievable, instead of enhancing and keeping up with industry, you guys are making CISSP a commodity items. My 10 year-old kid computer book is more up-to-date then CISSP CBK Manual. It’s look like a security almanac. I suggest improving and enhancing it

GL: You are right, we need to increase and add more domains. Last night I was mugged even though I clearly displayed my CISSP card. We can put “Martial Art and Self-defense” as a separate domain to teach them karate and taekwondo.

SA: What’ the point of sending CISSP business card after endorsement other than scratching your hair, using it as tea-coaster or utilizing as a tooth pick.

GL: Do not be sarcastic. Anyone would like to suggest more domains

FA: Why do not we also add “Security in the Dark Ages”, we can put War of Troy, War of Spartans and teach them the origin of Trojan etc.

GL: Coming back to psychoanalysis, why are we holding result for 6 -8 weeks? Can somebody enlighten me?

Psycho: Do you want usual answer like setting baseline, doing research, deciding cut-off line or actual truth.

GL: Leave it. What is the result of psycho analysis?
Psycho: My psycho analysis told me that all of those who appeared after 15^th April 2015 do not know how they have performed. Even we do not know how they have performed. Everyday their hope level touches lowest point. 20% of questions were not answered correctly by anyone. 50% was answered correctly by all of them. 10% of question answered correctly by 80% of test takers and rest of the questions we are not sure ourselves what would be the correct answer. As SA suggest we can do lucky draw or balance the demand & supply. Choice is yours.

GL: That’s more difficult. I suggest having another meeting to discuss the PSCYHO ANALYSIS REPORT.
To be continued……

mjsinhsv

I think they should turn it into some sort of a marathon.

1. Take the exam.

2. Run a 10k through the "Martin Luther King" side of town.

3. Swim 2k in a lake filled with piranhas

And finally , complete the test by shooting a mis-configured Cisco ASA 5500 firewall at 20 yards with a 9mm Beretta.
something like this..
Cops: Colorado Springs man shoots to kill...his computer!; Eight bullet holes - CBS News