CV and Cover letter critique

col1234

Hi,

I have been applying for mainly first line support roles and desktop support roles.

I haven't had much luck in terms of responses I don't know whether that is down to my CV or my lack of experience.

If anyone would take a look at my CV and see where I could improve, that would be really appreciated.

Regards
Colin

cv.pdf

eugene_86

col1234,


"My technical skills have grown throughout my education and has reinforced my passion for computing I completed my dissertation by developing an android application."

I want you to tell me if you see anything wrong with that sentence up there. You cannot have these kind of sentences in your resume its unprofessional.

That 1st paragraph of the cover letter should be said in just a few sentences and should be worded better. When I read that I get the impression that you are trying too hard and are using the thesaurus/dictionary too often. Then entire cover letter just seems too long, with too many unnecessary words. It should be shorter and more to the point, less of a life story.

Again same thing too many words here:

"I have also shown that I have great communication and time keeping skills. I am hoping to develop a long-term career in Computing and feel that your current vacancy would be the perfect starting point in this industry."

As for the rest of the resume here is what I would do, I would remove any past job that is not related to IT, just leave it out. I would change the objective to profile since your objective should already have been stated in your cover letter. After profile I would list your technical skills followed by education, then professional experience (only IT related) and then interests. Also I would lose the achievements section, unless they are IT related achievements.

I would just scrap this entire thing, you should search this forum and the internet and look through as many Network Administrator and System Administrator resumes as you can, also go on indeed or wherever and look through as many job posting as you can to get a feel for what a person who is reading your resume is looking for. Because the reader would most likely not even make it half way through before throwing it out.

This is my opinion.