Anyone else have difficulty fitting in with your IT coworkers?

9bits

I have a few theories why it's sometimes a challenge for me. Curious if other people ever experience similar challenges.

thomas_

I don't think you are ever going to fit in with everyone. I will be cordial and professional with the people I don't like/fit in, but that's about it.

bigdogz

...and if no one likes you... it's probably you.

I have run into some that are either threatened by me, or use me as an ends to a means. It comes back to bit you in the long run. Most of the people I work with are nice.

Good luck.

stryder144

Before I switched over to IT, I would read about IT folks being into video games, sci-fi, and general indoors activities. I thought that those were stereotypes. What I've come to understand is that many of my IT coworkers have, in fact, been into those activities. Not all, mind you, but many. I prefer wildlife photography, shooting, history, theology, and many other things that are not typically attributed to IT people. So, sometimes, it is quite difficult to find common ground. Not to mention, I have a military background and I don't understand the slovenly attire and lackadaisical attitude that many have. The one common ground that I think I share the most, besides a love of technology, is that I am a high-functioning introvert. So there's that! lol

UnixGuy

I voted "Yes I try not to talk to anyone"...but what I meant to say, yes I don't fit in, but I try to be friendly. I don't mingle with co-workers outside work (decidedly)

Iristheangel

I answered "no, everyone loves me" because there there wasn't a happy medium between "No, everyone loves me" and "No, I don't care or know." I'm sure I am not universally loved by every coworker in a large company but overall I get along with my peers and have no problem striking up a conversation in a room full of them. I think we've moved away from the stereotype that if you work IT, you must be a neckbeard who can't strike up a conversation with anyone. Overall, I've seen men and women of all shapes, sizes, interests, cultures and personalities just like any other job. Some people might be generally less happy or social if the company culture sucks but overall, it shouldn't be that vastly different than any other job .

dhay13

I voted everyone loves me because I feel that was the closest answer. My current team is great, we all get along great and all work towards one goal but I can't say that about my last job. Nobody liked or got along with my manager so likewise he didn't like us but I tried when I first started then gave up. I got along with everyone else there though.

kalimuscle

Most people who dont like you

Wont say it to your face

They would act nice

NOC-Ninja

I have some haters that I personally know. I still talk and work with them. Just because you dont like them, does not mean you cant work with them.

It is because Ive skipped them due to my sacrifices.
They actually gives me strength to be better. The more you put me down, the more I will work harder on myself.

xxxkaliboyxxx

Where is the option for "reverse stereotyped"? No seriously, I get typecast as a non-geek! I'm just as geeky and nerdy as everyone else! IT folks think I don't know squat and make comments like, you don't look like a IT guy and non IT folks make comments like, you don't look like a computer guy. WTH man, damn my good looks. To put it in perspective, I'm tatted up, I ride a motorcycle, I'm very social, I sign at Karaoke bars, I work out, my wife is very beautiful, so i do not look like the traditional IT guy, but someone said it already, it's 2017, get with the times! I actually get little offended when co-workers or just randoms tell me I do not look like a computer guy

roninkai

We all get along pretty well. Lots of sports fans in my group, but I am not personally one. I not your typical "IT geek" either.

I have my certs and awards posted in my cube and sometimes get mixed feelings / and or comments on that. Actually everyone has their certs and degrees posted and in their email sig. But I've gotten a little bit of "hate" as a result of being ambitious and tackling school and certs at the same time. To each his own...

dave330i

It's work, not high school.

9bits

dave330i wrote: »

It's work, not high school.

You make a good point--high school was much easier.

Danielm7

dave330i wrote: »

It's work, not high school.

Social interaction is a big deal at work. Like it or not, that's how many/most of the promotions take place. For me, I get along well with my coworkers. Many of the stereotypes don't hold a lot of weight in my current workplace. If you start talking about something most of them deem "too nerdy" like a raspberry pi, most of them will tune it out and make a joke. If you bring up something about the local sports teams they'll all jump in though. Unfortunately I don't care much about the local sports, ha, but I have a decent sense of humor and am pretty easy going so I get along well with pretty much everyone here.

Remedymp

Racism plays a significant role in this.

thatguy67

I voted "Yes and I don't care". I'm sure there are some people in my department that don't like me and others that do. It doesn't matter to me much. I'm the only one in my department that I know of that came in "cold" (without knowing someone already working there).

I think rising through the ranks with people against you is more gratifying, as it shows my skills and work ethic got me ahead, rather than being buddy-buddy with someone. My supervisor likes me as far as I know and frankly that's all that matters.

globalenjoi

I don't think I have much trouble fitting in. I'm a huge PC gamer, which fits pretty well with several people I work with and helped break the ice early on. Beyond that, I'm fairly outgoing. Best thing to have: social intelligence. I think having a bit of social intelligence goes a long way when working with people that you have nothing in common with.

dhay13

dhay13 wrote: »

I voted everyone loves me because I feel that was the closest answer. My current team is great, we all get along great and all work towards one goal but I can't say that about my last job. Nobody liked or got along with my manager so likewise he didn't like us but I tried when I first started then gave up. I got along with everyone else there though.

In my managers defense we were not permitted to talk to each other. It was even frowned upon if I was in his office or he were in mine. Very odd there but everyone pretty much kept to themselves. I don't know the logic behind it other than they always complained about how gossip ruins the workplace. There were several times I was in my managers office talking about projects and he would say that I better get back to my office before the owner/CEO saw me in there. Or maybe that was his way of not having to deal with me, who knows. Just thankful I left there!

Remedymp

dhay13 wrote: »

In my managers defense we were not permitted to talk to each other. It was even frowned upon if I was in his office or he were in mine. Very odd there but everyone pretty much kept to themselves. I don't know the logic behind it other than they always complained about how gossip ruins the workplace. There were several times I was in my managers office talking about projects and he would say that I better get back to my office before the owner/CEO saw me in there. Or maybe that was his way of not having to deal with me, who knows. Just thankful I left there!

I have seen similar policies elsewhere. The only difference is your office door has to remain open when talking. It can't be closed at any given time of dialogue.

JoJoCal19

I voted "No, everyone loves me" because I have always had great relationships with co-workers. I'm very outgoing and have so many varied interests and hobbies that I can strike up a conversation with pretty much anybody, and usually do.

dragonsden wrote: »

But I've gotten a little bit of "hate" as a result of being ambitious and tackling school and certs at the same time. To each his own...

The only "issue" I ever had was as you stated. Especially at the bank I worked 8 years at. Every single one of us hated it there, couldn't stand management, and wanted out. I was the only one doing something about it, pursuing my degree and certs. So anytime a co-worker would bring up, or as a group discussion among us, how they hated it or wanted out, I would start talking about certs and stuff to open the doors and then it would turn awkward. So after a few times of that happening, I just stopped bringing it up and kept on doing my own thing.

E Double U

I voted "no, everyone loves me".

People seem to enjoy my easy-going personality and sense of humor. Plus I'm reliable. I get the feeling that my team enjoys my company.

jws86

I would consider myself the odd ball out with my team. I have tats, love sports, guns, lifting weights and just generally being outdoors. I do however have a love for tech and I enjoy some gaming from time to time. But when these guys at work go on rants about the new Star Wars movie or WOW they played I have no clue what they are talking about. I've always referred to myself since stepping into the IT world as "not your average geek".

That being said. I do get along with my entire team. We just don't have a lot of the same interests outside of work.

Queue

Everyone at my job is awesome. Honestly with all do respect, it must be the person who cannot assimilate to the environments fault. You should be social and confident enough to excel in any social situation. What are some ways to improve? Search for social activities in your area (adult group sports, mountain biking clubs, running club, cooking club, networking events, etc). Unless your environment is toxic you should be able to find something in common with all people.

blatini

I voted yes and I don't care.

I get along with my coworkers really well and always have. I am not the most outgoing social person so outside of the department I generally don't have the same relationship. Sometimes it's because I don't like them, or because every I run into them I am just tired of talking to people. It would be cool if that weren't the case, but if I had to put it into a generalization it's more aligned with 'I don't care'

Fulcrum45

"No, everyone loves me, and I inspire others." Why? Because I'm hilarious and have a solid work ethic. And frankly I loathe this idea of "geek culture" that Hollywood has beat into the ground. Can't we like sports AND Dungeons and Dragons?

globalenjoi

Fulcrum45 wrote: »

Can't we like sports AND Dungeons and Dragons?

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

mgeoffriau

I don't know if everyone loves me, but that's the closest answer so that's what I voted. If I could write in a more accurate response, it would be:

I try hard get along with everyone, and mostly succeed, but ultimately don't care

I realize that might sound contradictory, but I think I can explain:

I try hard to be a likeable person. Being polite is good. Being attentive, being a good listener, being relatable are all good things. Certain people I just hit it off with -- similar interests or similar perspectives. Others, not so much, but I'm happy to be "friendly" with them, if not actually friends. If you're into boardgaming and comic books, that's cool. I'll be happy to listen politely while you tell me something cool or interesting about your hobbies, and I won't tease you about it or make fun of you to others, even if you are interested in things I find uninteresting (I draw the line at bronies: I will make fun of you mercilessly).

But beyond that? If I make a reasonable effort and you just don't like me? That's your problem, not mine. If there's something specific that needs to be addressed, I am happy to do that, but if you just don't like me, then I can't help that, and I will probably make an effort to avoid engaging you or working alongside you, because I find your attitude toxic and unprofessional.

Fulcrum45

mgeoffriau wrote: »

If I make a reasonable effort and you just don't like me? That's your problem, not mine.

This about sums it up completely.

EANx

There's a difference between fitting in with your coworkers and fitting into the work culture. Of the people working for me, I have a competitive video game player, a guy who spends every off week in the Ukraine (*cough*), a woman who is a Hawaiian Ironman competitor and a published underwater photographer and all except the woman are techies. You can't expect to fit into your coworkers interests (I did a 100 mile bike ride this weekend, what did you do?) but if your boss'-boss is any good, you should have a solid work culture allowing everyone be productive. Maybe the work culture is that everyone takes a break on Fri at 3 to shoot the breeze. Shooting the breeze at 3 is then an unstated but important part of your work week.

dontstop

A slight tangent but what are people's personal rules on interactions with coworkers outside of work? In previous jobs I've found that getting too close to coworkers only leads to problems and difficulties as you end up getting roped into functions (Birthdays/Parties/Events) and it becomes very hard to say no to favors/requests as you have a weird friend/college relationship.

Do most people keep it strictly professional?

JoJoCal19

dontstop wrote: »

A slight tangent but what are people's personal rules on interactions with coworkers outside of work? In previous jobs I've found that getting too close to coworkers only leads to problems and difficulties as you end up getting roped into functions (Birthdays/Parties/Events) and it becomes very hard to say no to favors/requests as you have a weird friend/college relationship.

Do most people keep it strictly professional?

My general rule is to only be "work friends", people at work who I get along really well with and share several mutual interests with. With those folks I'll share a little more about myself, go to lunch with, maybe an occasional happy hour. I tend to decline any other 'outside of work' type of stuff.