Resume Critique and Advice Request

Hello,

I would like assistance in improving my Resume. Earlier this year I paid someone to do my resume and after sharing it with an IT professional I didn't get much positive feedback about it and was told to look at the templates here on the forum. I used the templates on the forum here to rewrite it and would like some feedback about it as well as suggestions to make it better. I also wanted to ask about security clearances, if someone has one where should that be mentioned on a resume? I left out the personal information for security.PROFESSIONAL PROFILE –

Dedicated IT Specialist with comprehensive help desk support and information security experience.

Technical Skills and Competencies
Systems: Windows, Linux
Languages: HTML, Visual Basic, Java, C++
Software: MS Office

CERTIFICATIONS
● CompTIA Security+
● CompTIA CEH in progress
● CISSP in progress

Information Assurance Analyst August 2015 – July 2016
Digital Risk – Maitland, FL
Identify and resolve potential security breaches and vulnerability issues in a timely manner while ensuring secure operation of the organization’s computer systems, servers, and network connections.

· Conducted audits for software, user accounts, and file storage while ensuring systems and users were in compliance to company policies.

· Developed and improved security measures for effectively tracking threats and vulnerabilities throughout the company’s network.

Cable Systems Installer and Maintainer November 2011 - Present
U.S. Army – Orlando, FL

Supervise, Support, and Train personnel in help desk and cabling related duties.

· Tier II Helpdesk support: Provide professional customer support while troubleshooting, installing, and repairing end devices such as desktops, laptops, and printers. Additional duties include helping clients set up user accounts, imaging and reimaging of computers, inventorying, pushing software updates to computers, Due Diligence, and Information Assurance.

· Facility cable management: Install, Maintain, and Repair RJ45, RJll, Coaxial, and Fiber cables. Additional duties include designing and implementing cable networks for both facilities and field operations.

e-Team Supervisor October 2013 – March2014
Ebay Enterprise – Melbourne, FL

Representing Ebay on its customer support staff while assisting and explaining to both customers and employees about products, logistics, and service complaints/resolutions.

· Handled management level customer complaints while providing professional customer service and resolutions.

· Supervised new members of the customer support team while assisting them in resolving both customer complaints and inquires.

Delivery Contractor November 2012 – August 2013
AirTraffic – Orlando, FL

Communicating with a dispatcher and managing an office route. Ensured Superior customer service upon product delivery while transferring office supplies from warehouse to stores and verifying inventory.

Geographical System Information Analyst February 2003 – May 2004
Harris GCSD – Melbourne, FL

Utilizing Satellite Imagery to capture, store, analyze, manage, and present spatial geographic data. Rendered satellite imagery into 3D models for government, military, and commercial purposes.

· Aided in the production of a 3D map of Basra for the war in Iraq so military could navigate and effectively carry out missions.

· Aided in the production of a 3D map of Athens for the 2004 Summer Olympics.

EDUCATION

Associate of Arts, General Education
Brevard Community College, Melbourne, FL

Bachelor of Science, Information Technology “Expected Graduation 2019”
Seminole State College, Sanford, FL

· Studies focused in network infrastructure design and security

· Emphasis on security management and intrusion prevention

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Comments

dhay13

For starters get rid of the CISSP and CEH in progress. While it is admirable that you are pursuing these, I don't think they belong on a resume and may even violate the CISSP rules but that might be a gray area. I know you cannot put it on your resume even after you pass if you are an associate without the required experience.

yoba222

I'd put the clearance right in the opening line.

"CompTIA CEH" -- Had I been a hiring manager, I would have stopped reading right there. Might want to look that one up.

For the in progresses -- I'd either add "Ph.D. in Artificial Intelligence (in progress)" or just delete all three.

This one is just my opinion: For the Geographical Information System Analyst stuff, I'd be a little more vague about actual locations of stuff. Over the years you can forget which parts of missions are okay to talk about and which are secret, so better to just not mention details at all.

jibtech

Agreed with the above. Remove the CISSP and the CEH. Personally, I would leave the Bachelor's, but put down a firm expected graduation date. 6/2019, 12/2019, etc. If you are gradually working your way through the degree and the date is a target sometime in the future, delete the entire line.

In the professional profile, I would remove the word "comprehensive". Your comprehensive and mine could be very different. I also can't tell if you are saying your HD experience is comprehensive, or if you are including your security experience. Either way, I would get rid of it.

In that same section, get rid of IT Specialist. There are varying opinions about whether titles have ranks, or can bite you in the ass, but there is no reason for you to volunteer. You are an Information Technology Professional. Or maybe you are an Information Security Professional. Don't assign yourself the rank of specialist, analyst, engineer, associate, etc. Let HR do that for you after they make you an offer that you like.

Ditto on the GIS comment.
"GIS activities in support of customer mission." Feel free to get into technical details that aren't classified and would be generally applicable across the entire GIS field. There is no way in hell I would have a theater listed on my resume, unless it was a command I held. Too much risk of a lapse.

You have an 8 year lapse in there as well. That caught my eye first. Try thinking of a way to address that at first glance. At a minimum, remove the months from your dates. I immediately caught myself doing the math, which is not what you want a hiring manager focusing on. (8 years, 6 months by the way.)

Last item is just a suggestion. The in vogue resume seems to float between "duties" and "accomplishments". Every manager has a type they prefer, so I would recommend both:

Option 1:
Development and implementation of enterprise widget automation strategies.

Option 2:
Realized 20% annualized savings in widget labor.

Option 3 (Hybrid):
Led implementation of enterprise widget automation, resulting in 20% reduction in widget labor cost, without reduction in widget production.

Different hiring managers prefer either option 1 or 2. But, you don't get to know which it is, until after you have submitted the resume if ever. Option 3 speaks to both kinds of managers. It also is a bit more wordy, so you can bury more of the jargon that the HR automation system is going to flag as meeting requirements.

Just my $0.02.