For Parents in IT

When do/did you start to pivot from your own career to your children? I'm finding that as my oldest nears the college ranks, I am having to focus less on myself and more on them.

Any of you run into this? Is so how did the transition go?

I can't see a scenario where you put primary focus on them and still have bandwidth to continue to climb the educational ranks, at least at the rate previously.

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Phalanx

Not happened to me yet. I have a 5 and 9 year old. If anything, my knowledge of IT is helping them be better than they should be at their age. My 9 year old constantly shows the teacher at school how to do things better. Last week she helped the teacher figure out why her projection computer was running slowly (harddrive usage).

I was very proud to receive a note in her bag after school offering thanks by proxy, hehe.

JoJoCal19

That's really interesting DBH. I feel it's the opposite for me. My kids are 4, 5 and 8 and pretty much all of my focus is on them these days and I feel like when they get older they will require a lot less attention than they do now.

fitzlopez

I haven't actually pivoted from one to the other. I do have less time to focus on my career but it doesn't meant I've stopped getting security certifications or studying. It's just been harder because I have to split my time.

On the other hand I've had to actually study MORE but in other areas, because when I check their homework I have to remember stuff from when I was in school. Sometimes I even relearn because I have to learn the new way they're teaching (common core I'm looking at you), don't get me started about Pluto. It's also an interesting experience when having to correct teachers mistakes, because first I have to really check if it's a mistake or I understood the information in an old context.

It also frustrates me to no end when my 10 year old wants to use her iPad to write her MS Office homework when she has a computer!

Maybe it's because my kids are still young but I've found that what really limits my educational growth is me. It's me who makes the time or wastes it. Not even money, because even if I can get better education with more money or I need the hundreds of dollars for the cert, there are still cheap alternatives if I really want to learn about something. You just wont have the paper just the knowledge.

devilbones

DatabaseHead wrote: »

When do/did you start to pivot from your own career to your children? I'm finding that as my oldest nears the college ranks, I am having to focus less on myself and more on them.

Any of you run into this? Is so how did the transition go?

I can't see a scenario where you put primary focus on them and still have bandwidth to continue to climb the educational ranks, at least at the rate previously.

This is pretty much the exact opposite for me. Now that my daughter is in college she is doing her own thing. I just have to pay. My son has 2 years of HS left and he works about 20 hours a week after school so he has his own money.

Dojiscalper

I'm opposite too. For my wife and I our children , seven and eleven get most of our time.

E Double U

My boys are 5 and 7, but I find time to study. Most of the time is during my train ride to work or when they are sleep. If I do study while they are awake it is when they are just enjoying each other's company and do not want to be bothered with dad. My team also allows one study day per month which enables me to get a lot done.

At my previous employer I actually got enough downtime during the day to get lots of studying done. I used to sit in the car on my lunch breaks and study during that time as well.

It doesn't matter if I'm studying for a cert or a language I just always have material on me wherever I go. Now my favorite study period is during my older son's soccer practice (twice per week) and during their swimming lessons.

gespenstern

devilbones wrote: »

This is pretty much the exact opposite for me. Now that my daughter is in college she is doing her own thing.

Yeah, the same. After they start sh!tting into appropriate vessels the level of care they need gradually falls down. Then, when they can drive cars themselves they need almost zero supervision.

DatabaseHead

That's interesting..... I have a 2.5 year old, so I completely understand the dynamics of young children.

Here are some time constraints I am running into, I find it strange that I seem to be the only one who is running into this.

Visiting Universities. This can suck up a full weekend. We've been visiting local and semi local Universities to see what the "Atmosphere" is like, just to name one data point.

Researching. Lots and lots of data out there, in fact if you go out to data.gov there are some awesome educational data sets that can be leveraged. Earned income, graduation rates, programs etc.... It's wild and informative, this takes a lot of time as well.

Spending time with my daughter, finding out what she likes and doesn't like.

My parents threw me to the wolves and I had very little direction. I was able to graduate and they paid for everything but it wasn't the most efficient way to go about it, at least from my vantage point.

Most likely this is just a phase and will subside in a few.....

Dojiscalper

When college age hits I'm sure my wife will be working hard to get our girls the best we can. Like you my wife and I both come from families who also left us to figure out everything. We are determined not to do that to our children and hopefully they accept some help.

JoJoCal19

I totally get that. Both of my parents went into the Navy at like 17/18 and never attended college. I figured out everything on my own, not because they kicked me out of the nest at 18, but because they weren't equipped to help me out with that path. I came really close to following their footsteps and enlisting right out of high school, but couldn't get the rating I wanted so I went to the private sector.

mzx380

My twins are 3 1/2. Right now my focus is only on upskilling during the late hours so I can try and make as much money as possible.

Was coasting pretty much before then

Danielm7

I'm with a few of the others with 1 young one. Tons of time in drop offs, pickups, activities, homework, etc. I'm sure when they get closer to college age I'll be deep into the realm that Databasehead is in right now. I have a bunch of nieces and nephews so I've been able to see this play out over and over with siblings.

It's been interesting to see some of the parents where spent their entire lives funding outrageously expensive private schools and claiming the kids are going to end up ivy league and they turn out the same as every other "normal kid" in a "normal school".