Douchy McDouche and his Douchy Braindumps

CChNCChN Posts: 81Member ■■□□□□□□□□
Some douche guy I work with recently passed the ISCW exam through the use of braindumps.

I decided to ask him a question: " What is TCP? "

I would have liked a response along the lines of...

"A transport-layer protocol that defines a logical, full-duplex, point-to-point connection between application processes."

Instead, I got " it's used by FTP ".

Go braindumps.
RFCs: the other, other, white meat.

Comments

  • networker050184networker050184 Posts: 11,962Mod Mod
    Thats a pretty solid answer icon_lol.gif
    An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made.
  • BigToneBigTone Posts: 283Member
    That's awesome... Made my day.

    Ask him more questions and post them please :)
  • eMeSeMeS Posts: 1,875Member
    CChN wrote: »
    "Douchy McDouche"

    That can't be his name because I once worked with an ITIL consultant who was named Douchy McDouche...

    or maybe he spelled his "Douchy MacDouche".

    Hard to keep all of them all straight...

    MS
  • Hyper-MeHyper-Me Posts: 2,059Banned
    I also worked with a janalent consultant named that as well. Interesting.
    I got a fortune cookie that said "Outlook not so good" and I thought to myself "Yeah...but Microsoft sells it anyway."
  • ilcram19-2ilcram19-2 Posts: 436Banned
    ha!!???? ftp dont use tcp?
  • ilcram19-2ilcram19-2 Posts: 436Banned
    sounds more like a net+ questions you shouldve ask him what is phase 1 and phase 2 on a cisco VPN proccess minimum that was a pretty lame question if you trying top make some one look bad damn that hate wasnt well done man lol
  • WilliamK99WilliamK99 Posts: 278Member
    Isn't TCP something you use in the bathroom?
  • eMeSeMeS Posts: 1,875Member
    funny story...I know you guys don't know what the "ITIL Service Manager's Exam" is, but I'm pretty sure you understand the phrase "kick in the nuts".

    Anyway, that exam is a two-day ball-kick where you have to respond to scenarios and questions by applying the ITIL best practices, it's all in essay format and it's timed, and you really don't have enough time to finish it. It has about a 40% pass rate.

    Sometimes they give you a question where you're asked to pretend that you're a consultant, and write a memo to a CEO addressing some aspect of the scenario.

    They are very clear that you are not to write your real name in the exam response. This is because the people that grade it might know you.

    My buddy took it a while after I did. He got one of the questions where you have to write a memo. He choose the name Deucey McDeucerson.

    Another story, about the same guy...

    We both ended a contract with the same financial services company at roughly the same time. The money was always good, and we could have kept milking that cow, but literally we took off because of the abundance of douches.

    There was one guy in particular, who was extra-douchy. Once we were out of there and had received payment for our final invoice, we went to the store and picked up a Massengill Douche, wrapped it nicely, added a nice card from the two of us, and mailed it to him.

    It's the simple things....

    MS
  • Hyper-MeHyper-Me Posts: 2,059Banned
    eMeS is my hero. I repped him for that post.
    I got a fortune cookie that said "Outlook not so good" and I thought to myself "Yeah...but Microsoft sells it anyway."
  • Solaris_UNIXSolaris_UNIX Posts: 93Member ■■□□□□□□□□
    Just curious for a little mildly off topic banter here: If I came in to a job interview and you asked me what TCP was and I said:

    "TCP is the most popularly used connection oriented protocol at the transport layer of the OSI model, as opposed to UDP, which is the most popular connectionless transport layer protocol."

    Do you think that this answer would be good enough? Just curious, as that's what I would have said off the top of my head without really thinking too much about it. Maybe it's not the formal dictionary definition of it, but it's my personal definition and I'm hoping it's good enough.


    ps -e -o pid | xargs -t -n1 pfiles | grep "port: $PORT"

    dtrace -n 'syscall::write:entry { @num[zonename] = count(); }'

    http://get.a.clue.de/Fun/advsh.html

    http://www.perturb.org/display/entry/462/
  • dynamikdynamik Posts: 12,314Banned
    Hyper-Me wrote: »
    eMeS is my hero. I repped him for that post.

    Meh, I've seen better (scroll down to the ITIL part).
  • ClaymooreClaymoore Posts: 1,637Member
    I don't know if any of you have ever done any fiction writing beyond your resumes, but one of the hardest things to do is to come up with character names. I once read that the real reason the characters in Reservoir Dogs were named after colors was that Tarantino couldn't think of real names initially. He intended to give them real names later, but decided instead to write the scene where they get their fake names. There are random name generators that you can use now, and for your next fake name essay exam I suggest trying

    The Douchebag Name Generator
  • snadamsnadam Posts: 2,234Member
    eMeS wrote: »
    That can't be his name because I once worked with an ITIL consultant who was named Douchy McDouche...

    or maybe he spelled his "Douchy MacDouche".

    Hard to keep all of them all straight...

    MS


    Oh, must be related to Douchey McDoucherson, a work associate I know icon_cool.gif
    **** ARE FOR CHUMPS! Don't be a chump! Validate your material with certguard.com search engine

    :study: Current 2015 Goals: JNCIP-SEC JNCIS-ENT CCNA-Security
  • Solaris_UNIXSolaris_UNIX Posts: 93Member ■■□□□□□□□□
    Claymoore wrote: »

    LOL!

    I'm adding +1 to your rep for that one. I'm going to have to set that as the default home page on some of the less-used desktop computers in the data center at work. :D


    ps -e -o pid | xargs -t -n1 pfiles | grep "port: $PORT"

    dtrace -n 'syscall::write:entry { @num[zonename] = count(); }'

    http://get.a.clue.de/Fun/advsh.html

    http://www.perturb.org/display/entry/462/
  • mikedisd2mikedisd2 Posts: 1,096Member
    But is he the Biggest Douche In The Universe?
  • eMeSeMeS Posts: 1,875Member
    Claymoore wrote: »

    It says my douchebag name is "Dynamik".

    MS
  • snadamsnadam Posts: 2,234Member
    eMeS wrote: »
    It says my douchebag name is "Dynamik".

    MS


    I cant believe I missed that one... icon_lol.gif
    **** ARE FOR CHUMPS! Don't be a chump! Validate your material with certguard.com search engine

    :study: Current 2015 Goals: JNCIP-SEC JNCIS-ENT CCNA-Security
  • Kevins51825Kevins51825 Posts: 2Member ■□□□□□□□□□
    Recently had help-desk technician put in firewall request. I asked what port they needed open. She replied with the IP address of the Scanner that needed to go through. I said that i needed the port and she said that she thought the ip address was the port. This tech is net+ and A+ certified. BRAINDUMPS MAYBE???????????
  • NinjaBoyNinjaBoy Posts: 968Member
    Another correct answer would be this:

    TCPLiquidAntiseptic200.jpg

    :)

    -Ken
  • arwesarwes Posts: 633Member
    Recently had help-desk technician put in firewall request. I asked what port they needed open. She replied with the IP address of the Scanner that needed to go through. I said that i needed the port and she said that she thought the ip address was the port. This tech is net+ and A+ certified. BRAINDUMPS MAYBE???????????

    She'd make an excellent consultant for primetime network TV. Like the guy on Nash Bridges who had a T3 at his home, and the good guys were using dial-up and uploading to him at like 500Kb/s. The made for TV techie guy exclaims, "Oh my god! This guy must have a T3 connection!" Oh well, just let her continue opening her sockets.
    [size=-2]Started WGU - BS IT:NDM on 1/1/13, finished 12/31/14
    Working on: Waiting on the mailman to bring me a diploma
    What's left: Graduation![/size]
  • Mrock4Mrock4 Posts: 2,360Banned
    I manage a NOC...I asked one of the folks we have working here for the IP of a system one day (individual is a+, net+ also..), I was handed a hostname. I've dealt with customers who know better then this. When asked to get the IP, not the hostname, I was handed a MAC address.
  • L0gicB0mb508L0gicB0mb508 Posts: 538Member
    When I was working overseas I worked with a lady that was like MCSE: Security, MCSE: Messaging, CCNA, MCDBA, and a few others. Turns out she couldn't do simple Exchange tasks. She defragged production servers in the middle of the night. Destroyed DFS links because they needed "cleaned up". She couldn't work on SQL either, even though she was MCDBA. I was amazed at her sweet skillset.
    I bring nothing useful to the table...
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