Bling bling bling

2lazybutsmart · August 2003

"You're the Godfather aren't you?" she said. "Yes" he said, "Yes I am". "So why do you need more details?" she asked.

Enforcer · August 2003

"Hmmm, no wonder you need braindumps to pass your exams" said the godfather " I need a description of this guy, Linus, so the police know who to look for."

2lazybutsmart · August 2003

Enforcer wrote:

"Hmmm, no wonder you need braindumps to pass your exams" said the godfather " I need a description of this guy, Linus, so the police know who to look for."

"Oh OK, could you hand me that blue book on the shelf with the letters "BD" on it?" she said.

"Sure, although I don't understand why you need a book marked "BD"?

he said. "I asked you for the man's description, remeber?" he added.

"I know, I know... just pass me that book and...

Enforcer · August 2003

Enforcer reached for the book, and as he pulled it the wall slid silently to the right revealing a dark passage.

RussS · August 2003

"In the dead of night a lone girl was seen leaving The Frog and Goat in the lower east side. She met up with 2 disreputable charachters who lurk in tech groups and are known to go by the names of Bearing and Ruscorp. They quickly made sure that they were not being observed and the grabbed her by the hane and leed her down a dark alley."

"Inside a ramshackle bedsit they sat her down at a table - turned the powerful light so it was shining directly into her eyes and started chanting......."

Enforcer · September 2003

Y M C A

2lazybutsmart · November 2003

BLING BLING!!

..was the sound of this post comming back to life. Marry's having a really hard time catching up with Microsoft's wild goose chase. She want's to get certified and not be decertified till infinity. She aslo wants to be able to upgrade for half the price of the real exam. Else, as usual, she'll resort to her braindumps....

Enforcer · November 2003

"you could always try signing up for beta exams".

"who said that", shouted Mary looking all around the room but seeing no one.

then she saw it, it was the smoke spiralling up from a shadowy figure, in fact it wasn't a figure at all it was just a shadow, a shadow of a head wearing a deer stalker and smoking a toilet bowl pipe.

"what are you?", whispered Mary, feeling very afraid.

RussS · November 2003

"don't be afraid my dear" said the leprechaun. "I am just one of the Dublin crew, here to help you with your dilema".

2lazybutsmart · November 2003

"I'd feel a lot safer if you could get rid of that 9mm." "Is that the same one you used to hijack the WM from EN?

'

Enforcer · November 2003

"No for that i used this pipe, you see i just came behind him, oops that doesn't sound too good does it, and stuck it in his back, it's not getting any better is it, and pretended it was a gun", said the very lazy little man who thought he was very smart

2lazybutsmart · November 2003

"Do you believe all that crap, Mary?" "I mean, you're just becoming confused. Well... it's not because the Confusion Master's here, but weren't we talking about braindumps and dumpbrains and what tha hell you'd do about 'em.... so, what's all this other stuff for?" asked the E Enforcer

Webmaster · January 2004

Suddenly Mary wakes up, she'd been sleeping for almost 3 months. While we had stronger winters than this one, Mary got too confused and too lazy, she needed rest. She had a long dream about ending her MCSE studies and switching to CompTIA certifications, it became her mission in life. She said: "I want to become CompTIA A+, CompTIA Network+, CompTIA Security+, Server+...

SLAP!

something hit her... and it wasn't another bright idea, and it wasn't the witch from the east either. It was a document being slapped in her face, which said: "CompTIA’s Trademark Usage Guidelines". Mary didn't expect to learn something so quickly, she hadn't opened her first CompTIA study book yet and already she had learned a valuable lesson:

It is CompTIA Server+, not Server+!

:P

RussS · January 2004

So Mary wrote to InCompTIA ...

"I am alas a poor student who is trying my best to do well by my fellow man and help expand their horizons. How could I possibly afford to pay those extortionate fees on my meagre income"

Her relpy was as bewildering as it was swift. "I am terribly sorry" wrote the person from InCompTIA, "But unless you turn yourself into a prostitute and allow us to pimp for you we will set our lawyers on your pretty little azz!".

Mary was amazed and immediately picked up the phone and called her dear friend ............

2lazybutsmart · January 2004

...but not so dear --The Enforcer. Once she told him what was going on, he cleared his throat and said, "Dear me.... let me see what I can do about this. Why don't you just **** your brain off and, if you must, your azz as well and leave me and my confusion alone?"

"Are you, of all people, talking to me like this Enforcer?" Mary stammered as she hung up while The Enforcer was in mid-sentence. She quickly dialed another friend's number and as the phone range she wrote another letter to CompTIA

"Dear CompTIA: As I write this letter, I'm dialing my local attorney and I'm filing as many lawsuits against your sorry azzes as possible. If I have to do as my Enforcer said, I'd rather spend the last penny on suing the rich hide off you guys. Yours!, Mary"

Hello this is Cisco's Certification Industry Watchdog, how may I help you?.......

Webmaster · February 2004

"Dang! Wrong number, that was Cisco." Mary said, while she hung up the phone.

Mary is not sponsored by, endorsed by or affiliated with Cisco Systems, Inc. Cisco®, Cisco Systems®, CCDA™, CCNA™, CCDP™, CCNP™, CCIE™, CCSI™

Enforcer · February 2004

although what the phone's offence was, that caused it to receive the death penalty by hanging no one knew, but there it was hanging by it's broken neck and Mary wearing a black hood. A black hood which made it extremely difficult for her to redo her lippy, which is always the first thing she does at the merest sign of anything remotely traumatic.

2lazybutsmart · March 2004

So the Enforcer made his/her way up the gallows and helped her put on the lippy. And that's where everybody's shock shook again in double-shock. It seemed to everybody that Mary was getting the blood back into her features everytime that lippy was applied to her lips. But that wasn't all, ....

2lazybutsmart · March 2004

the rope around Mary's neck snaped in two and SNAP.. she sat up on her bed panting and inhaling huge portions of her bed-room air. It seemed as though she would suck the whole H2O out of her bedroom so she forced herself to stop.

A few minutes (or hours it seemd to her) elapsed before her brain was allowed to realize that her life had snapped back from a very bad dream into better times. She knew this dream wasn't just a dream. Something/someone of a very benevolent nature had come to tell her that she should stop.....

Enforcer · March 2004

day dreaming at her desk and go and fix that server which had crashed over an hour ago.

2lazybutsmart · March 2004

yes she should, she told herself and lifted up the reciever and dialed 911.

2lazybutsmart · March 2004

she didn't like it either when her employer told her the next morning that she was charged for a false alarm as well as not being available when the server crashed.

"But I called the police", she insisted again and again. Finally, she figured out that when a server crashes, it doesn't mean it actually collides with another computer and/or person. Her friend told her that she could learn how to help when such things happen by studying more and using decent materials.

She promised....

Enforcer · March 2004

not to use braindumps in future and to try applying less lippy in future. Although there is not much hope for the last one as she was hastily applyiong lippy as she made this promise.

2lazybutsmart · March 2004

And so Mary went back home and started to fullfil her promis --well partially for now. First thing she did was throw her braindumps into the fireplace while holding her lippy with one hand.

She can't get rid of the lippy, that was impossible! So she put it back in her pocket and came back into her study. Braindumps...braindumps... where were those things kept....

2lazybutsmart · March 2004

...cuz she promised to get rid of all braindumps so she turned on her computer (which was already on. she never turned off her computer because she didn't know how to turn it back on) and located the files (the braindump files) which were placed on the desktop.

Now unfortuately, poor Mary couldn't figure out how to delete the files, so she used her higher-level process of thought and concluded that throwing the computer out of the window would destroy everything inside.

And so...she did and destroyed everything inside (including the computer

)

Enforcer · March 2004

unfortunately she had forgot to unplug the cables, especially the network cable, which tugged on the socket, which came away from the wall dragging the cable connected to it through the wall. Where the cable caught up with the other cables running to all the sockets on Marys floor met, stress was being applied by this cable being dragged through the wall out of the scoket and then out of the window. this in turn caused stress to be applied to the Switches in the cabinet which then caused the cabinet to topple thus putting stress on the main cable backbone, thus causing all the other switch cabinets to start toppling, including the one in the server room, this pressure than caused all the network cable to pop out of the servers one by one, thus causing the whole system to come to a halt.

Marys phone rang . . . . .

2lazybutsmart · March 2004

when, due to the pressure, it's cord popped out of the socket.

The phone rang again and again and this surprised Mary becuase she knew phones could only ring if they had their cables properly plugged in. Well the phone still rang while Mary's 8086 processor tried to figure out what to do: 1-Answer the phone; 2-or dismiss it as an illusion..... answer, or dismiss,.... answer or dismiss....

Enforcer · March 2004

so she went up to the nearest single girl and said "I'm not surprised you've never had a man, you is so ugly".

2lazybutsmart · March 2004

unfortunately, she said this while looking at herself through the mirror. When at last she realized that the picture "behind" the mirror talked when she talked and did her every movements the same second as she did, she turned around in disgust and answered the phone.

"Hi, this is Mary..." said the voice on the other side of the line

2lazybutsmart · March 2004

well that's when Mary (and she knew somethings about echo cancellation) realized that it was her own echo that she was hearing. "Hello. Hello" she repeated again and again and when nobody responded, she hung up the phone. And that's when she rememberd she hadn't put on her lippy for a while, which made her somewhat mad.

Ding Dong! was the sound she heard that, in her shock, made her apply some of her lippy on her nose.

"Who's it!" she screamed.

Bling bling bling

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