I need advice please, really depressed.

I started working it IT in 2002, I did some intern work for a VAR, then landed my first gig. I was able to work on everything from Linux FW's, Exchange servers, desktop support and general administration. After working there for 4 years, I moved and landed another gig in a different state as a Windows Admin. I worked there for 3 plus years, but it was a total nightmare. I learned a few things, but for the most part I ran around like a fool, had no real internal support and my confidence and skills eroded. I finally burned out so bad I quit and took a break. That almost 10 months ago. I hated living, I hated the field and I wanted out.

Now I want to get back on the horse, but my confidence is shot and I'm totally gunshy. I don't know how to explain my time off and I don't know how to get back in the field at this point. I'm mostly an MS guy, but I wanted to branch out. I use to love the work. During my time off I did take 70-680 (Win 7) exam and passed Sec+ to go with my older MCP, N+ and A+. I've debated hard over the last months what I wanted to do and this past experience keeps stopping me from going back. That said, I owe it myself to not allow that experience to keep me out of the field. Any advice for a weary traveler?

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Psoasman

Well, you have some experience and certs to go along with them. The fact you earned 2 certs while having time off says you are still interested in IT. What are you interested in now? Since you have some MS certs, I would hit the CCNA.
As far as explaining time off, be honest if you are asked. Don't let one job get you down, I am sure everybody on this site has had a job they didn't like. I didn't like my first one, but I used what I learned to get my current job, which I really enjoy.

btw: welcome to the forum. You will find a ton of resources here to help you with whatever direction you choose

RobertKaucher

Lots of people have experiences like that. I lived such a nightmare myself, but for just 4 months.

I suggest you get back on the horse and with a company that values their employees. You need to ask serious questions in the interview to make sure they are a good fit for you just as much as you are a good fit for their company.

forkvoid

RobertKaucher wrote: »

Lots of people have experiences like that. I lived such a nightmare myself, but for just 4 months.

I suggest you get back on the horse and with a company that values their employees. You need to ask serious questions in the interview to make sure they are a good fit for you just as much as you are a good fit for their company.

Agreed^.

An interview isn't just them deciding if you're a good fit... you're also interviewing them. The "Do you have any questions?" line isn't a trick question.

We've all had bad employers, some worse than others. Sounds like you got the real bad end of that, but you've got nowhere to go but up. Just get back out there and see how it goes.

Pryanjames

It was total chaos, let me put it this way. I recieved unemployment for quitting with no advance. By far the worst experience of my life. The main offender has since been fired, but I couldn't take it anymore.

I'm not sure where I want to go now. I was on such an upswing before that gig, I could have gone in many directions. I tried hard to get some Sharepoint experience while I was there to no avail. We also didn't have Exchange servers, the mail system was under the control of the Unix guys. Right now, I just want to have fun doing the work again, the pay is secondary. I would even work for free to get a chance at the right place.

Maybe I'll look into CCNA,but I never really liked subnetting.

I need to try to focus on something though, because just being a general "Windows guy" doesn't fly anymore.

Pryanjames

Thanks for the encouragement, I really need it.

spartangtr

Pryanjames wrote: »

Maybe I'll look into CCNA,but I never really liked subnetting.

Cisco stuff is way more fun than M$.

I started studying for the MCITP a while back and it was just so boring. Cisco is much more interesting though. Be careful, you might find yourself up at late at night playing with some routers/switches when you need to wake up for work the next day.

Turgon

Pryanjames wrote: »

I started working it IT in 2002, I did some intern work for a VAR, then landed my first gig. I was able to work on everything from Linux FW's, Exchange servers, desktop support and general administration. After working there for 4 years, I moved and landed another gig in a different state as a Windows Admin. I worked there for 3 plus years, but it was a total nightmare. I learned a few things, but for the most part I ran around like a fool, had no real internal support and my confidence and skills eroded. I finally burned out so bad I quit and took a break. That almost 10 months ago. I hated living, I hated the field and I wanted out.

Now I want to get back on the horse, but my confidence is shot and I'm totally gunshy. I don't know how to explain my time off and I don't know how to get back in the field at this point. I'm mostly an MS guy, but I wanted to branch out. I use to love the work. During my time off I did take 70-680 (Win 7) exam and passed Sec+ to go with my older MCP, N+ and A+. I've debated hard over the last months what I wanted to do and this past experience keeps stopping me from going back. That said, I owe it myself to not allow that experience to keep me out of the field. Any advice for a weary traveler?

You went from the VAR space to Windows Admin. In both environments you get a lot thrown at you. In the VAR space though everyone is generally cannon fodder to make good on the sales teams lies. This gives you a LOT of potential exposure to many different technologies and it can be exciting and good for your career, although scary and pressurized at times as you often dont really know what you are doing. This is one of the upsides of VAR work and if you are a go getter which I think you are, its a good foundation. But a VAR usually has some help internally you can go to when you are struggling with things that are new, and sometimes you are moving around doing little bits on lots of different things so not really getting the many months at something that gives you the indepth experience. Its essentially pushing a solution to a customer and once set, forget and get out of there unless there is a post sales support contract.

Windows admin work is a different ballpark. There's no shoot through there because you are stuck with the infrastructure on your hands and you have to make it work day in, day out to service the endusers. In short an operations role. This requires very different skills than the VAR work which is essentially size up customer requirements, match technology, design, deploy, hand over to customer and run away unless they pay, and they usually dont want to pay.

You inherited a bit of a mess in the second job as far as I can tell both technically and cuturally which left you overrun. That's not your fault. The experience will have served you very well should you wish to return to VAR work because you have seen just how ugly things can get in the field. This will give you insights to work on deployment and integration projects more effectively in terms of hand over to operations. So they are left with something that works and can be supported properly by the overrun IT department.

Similarly if you want to go into an admin role again, your eyes are wide open about how not to do things and how things should be done.

"I worked there for 3 plus years, but it was a total nightmare. I learned a few things, but for the most part I ran around like a fool, had no real internal support and my confidence and skills eroded."

You know I had a similar experience in my first IT admin job years back, at least for the first 6 months. It was really hard. I should add though that I had no prior experience in the technologies I was supporting, or experience of handling enduser requests. So I really struggled for quite a while before I picked up. All I had to do was settle down and work hard putting the time in, learning things patiently on the job and working as best as I could on my relationships with people. But unlike myself you came into this job with 4 years of technology and customer experience under your belt, and while I repeat, VAR and admin work is different, that background should have helped you better. So all I can say is something was badly wrong there in terms of your match to the technology management and culture.

I think you have a lot going for you. There are lots of bad gigs out there with many problems. I suggest you embark on the CCNA and put a couple of months into some serious labbing at home. There is plenty of help on this forum to get you set up with that environment. This will give you a new focus, get your confidence up and blow the cobwebs away. With hardwork the CCNA is achievable this year. I honestly think that would jumpstart your career as you have a decent foundation in many of the windows things that run on a network. This will be an asset to you in a career in networking. Remember a lot of network professionals have no desktop or server operations experience. You do, so you will appreciate that a network is there to run services and run them well. You will be aware of those services.

IT Departments and VARs are working on more integration with the network central to that. Get some strong networking under your belt and relaunch your career in that direction now.

Good luck!

docrice

Pryanjames wrote: »

Maybe I'll look into CCNA,but I never really liked subnetting.

Everyone probably thinks of that when they first see it. Same thing with that "OSI model" thing. Once you get past the initial shell shock, it's actually not that hard to deal with. I avoided it for my first few years but now that I look back on it, those things would have really helped me. You just have to think in terms of binary and remember that each time you add or subtract a bit, you're either doubling of halving the network size.

One of my early IT jobs was a tier I desktop support and we had no ticketing system and management didn't enforce prioritization due to lack of political clout in the company - in other words, whoever walked into the support room and demanded priority tended to get it, with everyone else keep getting bumped back to the end of the line and the complaint pile stacking up.

It was chaotic, but it was an enormous learning experience and while it was really stressful, I gained a ton from it. Just remember that there are always companies out there whose IT culture is always reactive in fire fighting mode rather than enabling the core business effectively. Those kinds of companies tend to deteriorate eventually. Ask smart questions when interviewing them to get a sense of how their operation is. If you love technology, your life will be full of great things if you land a position that's a good fit for you. It's just a matter of feeling things out during your interview.

neocybe

wow guys, thanks for the positive reinforcement!

I've found myself in the same situation after a painful employment situation and subsequent layoff. I think this thread will help give me the extra motivation to focus on my strengths and not let my last employers insanity keep me insecure about my future in IT.

ipconfig.all

I can't really relate to you since you are a senior but hear what has happened to me.

I started looking for an I.T job after my certifications which I did for a year and 2 months or something (self-paced) then I started looking for a job in and out since last year of June. After looking for 5 and a half month and only got 2 phone interviews (depressing) I decided to email tons of I.T companies in my area and offer to volunteer a lot didn't want me and this company decided to take me in ( I still respect them) and I was there full time for like 2 months and the job had to end due to the company restructure etc (which was true) even though I didn't get paid I learned alot technically and professionally and then I started looking again (depressing) and I got a face to face interview thanks to that experience and I found another volunteer system engineer gig at this microsoft gold partner company, deploying their infrastrucre (I still do this job) I learned alot and it gave me a chance to work with new technology as well as the director who has like 15 years of I.T experience he even edited my cv which increased my chances by alot.
I get around 2 face to face interviews a month and I am still looking for my real I.T gig where I get a real on going salery, it has being a little over a year and still I haven't being able to acomplish my goal and I try my very best and I see fresh grdauates or other people getting jobs and I must admit I do get jerlous lol, also I went for an interview at this small I.T service place and the interviewer knows my old boss (which I volunteered at last year) he gave good word of me and the interview went well and he looked promising, but I am still waiting for his decision I really hope I get this even if it is minimum wage I do not care the job looks good.

My advice is follow your heart and do what you think is right, I have being deeply depressed about my situation some days I cannot get up cause I feel worthless but beat the depression and follow your heart.

you are doing quiet well it looks like you are having a mid life I.T crysis and you are confused in which way to go.

Countryboi

dont worry about explain the 10 month layoff....I just got a job after being unemployed for about a year and i just explained that i was laid off, with the recession and high unemployment no one questions it.

Pryanjames

But I left on my own, in this evironment, it seems that's worse than a layoff. Kind of like "who is that stupid to quit a job in the economy"?

So people think I should tell employers, I left on my own took some time off? What if they ask why? Do I tell them my boss was drunk that frequently made reference to my male reproductive organs? I'm not joking

veritas_libertas

spartangtr wrote: »

Cisco stuff is way more fun than M$.

I started studying for the MCITP a while back and it was just so boring. Cisco is much more interesting though. Be careful, you might find yourself up at late at night playing with some routers/switches when you need to wake up for work the next day.

LOL, that is a matter of preference

I personally enjoy servers and operating systems

NathanielTurner

Listen to what there guys are saying.
IMHO you just have to deal with the up and downs of IT.
We are in an industry that changes everyday. End users dont have a clue they just want it to work. THE KEY is to find an area of IT that you like and just go for it. Cisco is fun stuff its just hard to get into the network side of things.Also dont forget to develop you soft skills thats an area that get overlooked

N2IT

Pryanjames wrote: »

I started working it IT in 2002, I did some intern work for a VAR, then landed my first gig. I was able to work on everything from Linux FW's, Exchange servers, desktop support and general administration. After working there for 4 years, I moved and landed another gig in a different state as a Windows Admin. I worked there for 3 plus years, but it was a total nightmare. I learned a few things, but for the most part I ran around like a fool, had no real internal support and my confidence and skills eroded. I finally burned out so bad I quit and took a break. That almost 10 months ago. I hated living, I hated the field and I wanted out.

Now I want to get back on the horse, but my confidence is shot and I'm totally gunshy. I don't know how to explain my time off and I don't know how to get back in the field at this point. I'm mostly an MS guy, but I wanted to branch out. I use to love the work. During my time off I did take 70-680 (Win 7) exam and passed Sec+ to go with my older MCP, N+ and A+. I've debated hard over the last months what I wanted to do and this past experience keeps stopping me from going back. That said, I owe it myself to not allow that experience to keep me out of the field. Any advice for a weary traveler?

Forget the certs. Number 1 get a job and get one quick. The sooner you get back into the environment the sooner you will regain your skills. I hate to sound like a ass, but after 6 months of non IT exposure your skills are consider obsolete. I don't agree with that completely, but they do have a point.

Apply and get a gig. You should be able to land a low level admin position. Maybe go for something a little different. Mix it up.