The joys of marraige

Anyone else love and hate when their significant other calls you out?

Happened to me yesterday and bless her soul she is right.

"you don't seem to be as motivated about your ccna as you were your other certifications"

I wanted to be mad but she is right, i have been slacking on my studies, anyone else have this happen to you? I know its the holidays and it can get in the way, but this is something i need to get done, and im just not motivated right now like i was last month. How did you get over lack of motivation?

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Comments

Turgon

Not really. My wife would have me give up my CCIE studies in a heartbeat. I have a great job without it and its stressful enough. She wants me disconnected from IT when I finish work and fully engaged with the family, not disappearing up my ass all weekend in the spare room doing practice labs. If your significant other is actually encouraging you to spend less time with her to study I would get on with it if I was you.

SteveO86

Take a break. Remember why you want your CCNA, and ask yourself is that what you want to do?

A certification is not worth the fight with your other half

cisco_trooper

SteveO86 wrote: »

A certification is not worth the fight with your other half

True Story. Been there, done that, won't do it again. Ever.

Blackout

Lol were not fighting, she is just reminding me of my sworn duty to provide for the family. She wants me to get certified, she trying to push me to accomplish it. And i admitted she is right which i will never live down with her......ever

badrottie

Happy wife, happy life.

drkat

badrottie wrote: »

Happy wife, happy life.

True.... mine is actually the opposite.. she'd rather have me not be on a computer at all. I can barely even find time to do "labs" so I basically need to do it at work.. thank god yours wants you to get certified.

reloaded

Mine is basically "Hurry up and finish your CCNP, so you can start on the CCIE." I'm pretty much thinking at that point, wow, you might regret that comment, lol.

tpatt100

My wife called me out two weeks ago when I tried to buy Skyrim and she said "you just bought Modern Warfare didn't you??".

drkat

reloaded wrote: »

Mine is basically "Hurry up and finish your CCNP, so you can start on the CCIE." I'm pretty much thinking at that point, wow, you might regret that comment, lol.

I'm glad you guys have someone so supportive. Be grateful

Psoasman

badrottie wrote: »

Happy wife, happy life.

That covers it. It's so much easier when you are both onboard. For example, I was going to wait until next spring/summer to start the B.S. IT. My wife thought I'd be going to a B&M school. When I said it's full online, she told me to go downstairs and apply. Boom. Done.

Bl8ckr0uter

reloaded wrote: »

Mine is basically "Hurry up and finish your CCNP, so you can start on the CCIE." I'm pretty much thinking at that point, wow, you might regret that comment, lol.

My wife is the same way and she knows I have time management/focus issue. So she has been forcing me to only look at 3 test at a time (and nothing else). She is supportive in every way even in things she doesn't quite understand. I told her that I don't expect you to understand everything but I always need your understanding and support which she always lends even when it hurts my feelings. It really is nice to have a wife that has your back. I couldn't imagine being single at this point in my life.

Turgon

drkat wrote: »

True.... mine is actually the opposite.. she'd rather have me not be on a computer at all. I can barely even find time to do "labs" so I basically need to do it at work.. thank god yours wants you to get certified.

hehehe..mine too, once the working day is over she has lots of plans for my time. Unfortunately I dont have time at work to study so it's all a bit difficult

Love your wife, like your career. It takes longer to get qualified but you do tend to stay married.

onesaint

My wife's father and brother are both in IT, so she knows the drill. That said, she just tunes me out when I start to speak in the "other language" that is IT. She knows my goals and will do what it takes (within reason) to support me to reach them, but otherwise is indifferent. I only have to make sure there is some room for family time and "Honey-do" time, then I'm pretty much scot-free. I can put in 3+ hours a night when disciplined and it is permissible. Then again, I've either worked 2 jobs, been in school, or worked long hours ever since we first met (12+ years ago), so I supposed she's trained to expect me to constantly be working on something.

rwmidl

My wife got her Master's before we were married, so she understands the need for study time (she also finalized her Master's while she was pregnant and in the process of getting divorced so even more power to her). That being said, always put your wife/family life first. No certification can take their place (or is worth loosing your family over).

drkat

Turgon wrote: »

hehehe..mine too, once the working day is over she has lots of plans for my time. Unfortunately I dont have time at work to study so it's all a bit difficult

Love your wife, like your career. It takes longer to get qualified but you do tend to stay married.

Amen Brotha!

powerfool

My wife has never really found much enjoyment with my personal/career development endeavors. We got married straight out of high school (your possible assumptions there may be right) and I started working immediately thereafter as a web developer. Low pay and a bad economy got me focused on improving my marketability and focused on the MCSE 2000 for a year and then immediately jumped in to working on my BS. Knowing that she wouldn't be happy with the situation, I took on a full-time course load as to complete the program sooner... I had to use my lunch time and any time between work and school in the evening to get my studying and homework complete. EVERY second outside before leaving for work and after returning home was reserved for the family. I tend to get pretty ambitious when I start down a path, and I love establishing goals and knocking them down... so I started speaking MBA and law school during my senior year and she got pretty upset. I figured I could give it a rest and it would give her the opportunity to work on her nursing school which she had stopped and started three times already. When I started my current job, my employer announced their partnership with UMUC and I jumped on it... the wife hadn't started her nursing program, but I gave her almost four years to get going (which I will admit were not easy years and there were many medical and other issues in there). Anyhow, this time it is all online and not B&M as my undergrad was. She has started her program...

She called me out for procrastinating, which she does frequently. My defense is typically that I am working through it in my head, which is normally true... but it wasn't this time. I am not sure if I can pin my lack of motivation on one thing... but I just need to keep plugging away...

A) Course content this semester essentially assumes a political view that is the exact opposite of my own.

Recent vehicle issues that were rectified with a new vehicle (first new vehicle I have ever purchased, which brings new stress

).
C) Helping my wife through her ongoing medical issues while she is trying to go to school (these issues have recently become more burdensome due to some daily treatments, but hopefully these improve the situation in the long run).

Anyhow... if I can just make it through this semester, I will be half way done with this program. I really want to wrap it up by next December, but that will require taking a summer course and getting a student loan for that. As much I as I kept telling myself that I had no rush to finish an MS, I am now feeling self-imposed pressure because I will be able to teach adjunct after this, which could be rather useful, financially (and personally fulfilling).

I have been able to get into a good groove at work lately with some new music. I think getting consistent progress on my current project has reduced my work-related stress. Now if I can just translate that into some progress elsewhere.

universalfrost

my wife is trying to sabotage my studies right now.

this weekend was supposed to be my weekend to study for my upcoming 70-680 and 685 certs. well.... she left me with the kids on saturday to get a couple items from the grocery store and return some movies... 3 hrs later she came back and had not even returned the movies or gotten the groceries. she tried pulling the same trick today and I just said, sure no problem, but dont think i will come home this week and she could cancel her plans for the next weekend because I would rather get a hotel room and study then let her shenanigans make me fail a certification. she thought I was joking, until I picked up the phone and started calling marriot to redeem my points.

funny thing is that my wife worked for an IT company before we had kids and knows what certs are worth in the hiring process, but she could care less when it comes to me if it interferes with her "needs"

DevilWAH

I am shocked by how many people seem to have issues with this subject.

I got married becasue I want to spend time with my wife, and I work beacuse I enjouyt the field I work in.

To me there has never been a problem balancing the two. TO me studying is a hobbie and I treat it as any one would treat a hobby, while boht me and my wife appriciate that we both should have time to spend on our own hobbies it should not take up all our time and there should still be time for family life.

It works like this, if I want to watch movies every night, play computer games and study at the expensise of our relationship then she expects me to cut back on some of them. But its my chosie what to cut back on. I just can't moan about her not letting me study if I am out every night with mates and playing computer games till 3am.

In reality I find studying / Learning for more intersting and reqwarding than playing games, so I spend about 3 - 4 hours a night doing it (mostly after wife has gone to bed, as she like to go to bed early and i would rather spend time with her while she is awake than hidden away in a room on my owwn)

And the Wife never gets a chance call me out, she is constenly reminded about what I am up to by being bored to death with the later things I have lernt

, then again she is for every telling me about the latest in sheep husbandry breakthroughs.

I think have an intresting in your partners career and enjoying learning what they are up to makes a big difference. My wife may not have a clue about how a webserver works or what Linux is. But the fact can turn an old phone in to a media home server she finds fasinating!

binarysoul

universalfrost wrote: »

my wife is trying to sabotage my studies right now.

That statement made my day! Well done!

They all do and the reason is simple: They can't do it.

p.s. All US presidents and heads of United Nations have been men and I'm sure their wives too sabotaged:)
LOL. Guess who invented electricity, radio, TV and the Internet? LOL!

instant000

My wife is in IT. She's going for her MBA right now.

She encourages me to study, and I encourage her to study.

She reminded me recently that it's been a few months since my last test, so I hopefully get something under my belt before the new year.

universalfrost

binarysoul wrote: »

That statement made my day! Well done!

They all do and the reason is simple: They can't do it.

p.s. All US presidents and heads of United Nations have been men and I'm sure their wives too sabotaged:)
LOL. Guess who invented electricity, radio, TV and the Internet? LOL!

i reminded my wife yesterday that even though I got the vouchers for half price it would cost full price for the retake voucher and it would come out of her christmas present fund.... that has seemed to change her tune at least for now.

tpatt100

universalfrost wrote: »

my wife is trying to sabotage my studies right now.

this weekend was supposed to be my weekend to study for my upcoming 70-680 and 685 certs. well.... she left me with the kids on saturday to get a couple items from the grocery store and return some movies... 3 hrs later she came back and had not even returned the movies or gotten the groceries. she tried pulling the same trick today and I just said, sure no problem, but dont think i will come home this week and she could cancel her plans for the next weekend because I would rather get a hotel room and study then let her shenanigans make me fail a certification. she thought I was joking, until I picked up the phone and started calling marriot to redeem my points.

funny thing is that my wife worked for an IT company before we had kids and knows what certs are worth in the hiring process, but she could care less when it comes to me if it interferes with her "needs"

Does your wife ( be honest here) spend more time with the kids than you do? I hear lots of coworkers complain about having to watch "the kids" and it seems like its not a 50/50 but more a 90/10 deal. I had to send my wife to the movies and the mall this weekend because I knew she was hitting that burn out point, due to my work commute she has to handle more of the day to day tasks, I do what I can but she is around our son more.

demonfurbie

my wife put alot of pressure on me to finish school but rarely gives me anytime so ive started going into the office early and staying late just to study

drkat

agreed ^

My wife doesnt understand this IT stuff so I have to sneak away and study..

N2IT

Mine doesn't at all, except for the PMP recently, (I think because I have showed her the value via job board postings and a high overview of the body of knowledge). My boss also asked me to get it because our clients are very pro PMP. They absolutely love service providers having it. So she is on-board but it's been a WHILE.

My first certification she was on-board and then I got my 2nd and 3rd and that's when she started asking when these paid off LOL. I really didn't have an answer so now she has become anti certification and thinks they are a waste of time and money.

She is a nurse so once she get her CCRN (Critical Care Certification), she will automatically get a pay increase. [~5%] If she decided to get her CNA via Master Degree program she will get a 150% pay increase. Certifications to her mean more money and more knowledge. In IT they generally mean more knowledge and sometimes more money, usually not.

snokerpoker

Balancing work, studying, and family life is definitely hard. I don't get as much time to study as I would like sometimes, but being a good husband and a good dad are my highest priorities.

My wife is pretty good about letting me study. Most of the time I get time to read or watch CBT Nuggets when the baby is asleep.

vCole

binarysoul wrote: »

That statement made my day! Well done!

They all do and the reason is simple: They can't do it.

p.s. All US presidents and heads of United Nations have been men and I'm sure their wives too sabotaged:)
LOL. Guess who invented electricity, radio, TV and the Internet? LOL!

Whoa whoa whoa - They can't do what? Get certified and work in IT? If that's what you're saying then wow that's totally sexist! Women are treated as second class citizens to us males (for no reason) and this attitude is the reason why. Jeez.

Sorry that the majority of the TE members wives aren't supportive - but don't put it all on them. Communication is key, unless you explain to them what you're doing and why - then they have no idea. I've explained it to my girlfriend, and she's 100% supportive. My girlfriend's father works in IT as well, and her mother is 100% supportive too. Why? Because of communication, something that is lacking in majority of relationships.

FYI - a woman invented the compiler and the COBOL language. (As well as the circular saw, windshield wiper, and Kevlar to name a few).

Psoasman

vCole wrote: »

Sorry that the majority of the TE members wives aren't supportive - but don't put it all on them. Communication is key, unless you explain to them what you're doing and why - then they have no idea. I've explained it to my girlfriend, and she's 100% supportive. My girlfriend's father works in IT as well, and her mother is 100% supportive too. Why? Because of communication, something that is lacking in majority of relationships.

Excellent point about communication. We talked quite a bit about my wanting to get my B.S. in IT and once I showed my wife some of the positions I would qualify for once I've completed my degree and she is on-board now.

dustinmurphy

My wife calls me out on something COMPLETELY different....

She says that everyone else's computer comes before hers... LOL

She complains about how "slow" her computer is... and wants me to fix it, however I'm working on THE SAME hardware/software combo as she is (I even gave up a gig of ram to appease her) and she won't take the advice that it's something she's doing or a program she is running (I've been over it a thousand times... can't find any malware or anything that makes it slow). She has ALWAYS (for the last 10 years) complained that her computer is slow... and mine is always faster. Well, that's because she just surfs the net and I do more (well, I DID more.. until recently) So, a few years ago, I bought us both the EXACT same laptop... (then upgraded mine from 2GB to 4GB of RAM... she got something else instead)... still complaining.

Sometimes there's nothing we can do. LOL

Edit: When she asks me some off-the-wall question... and I don't have an answer ready for her (or the answer is too drawn out to explain) and I say "I don't know"... she says... "Well, you're in IT, it's your JOB to know." LOL...

the_Grinch

Glad I'm single lol, though my split personality tends to nag we like a wife would bwahahahaha...