In need of a resume/cover letter review, could anyone share their thoughts with me?

I have been shaping these for a while now but have yet to get any decent leads, could anyone offer any further advice?Thanks in advance

Joshawa Speiker Resume.doc

Help Desk Cover Letter.doc

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Comments

netsysllc

I hope you can take some constructive criticism, but as a manager I do not like the "candidate for an administrative or technical support position" in your cover letter. You are applying for a tech support role hover you are showing a lack of confidence in your abilities with that statement. Not to mention the fact you really don't want to be doing two different roles like that. Make a statement about your thoroughness in documentation of your work instead. I have not put my finger on it but I am not a fan of the lines as dividers, and especially not underlined titles.

If you are going to say you have expertise with Exchange you better have something on there to back that up. I see no relevance in your work history to show you have any expertise in it.

bugzy3188

I thrive on criticism at the moment, what I am doing is not working as is. Thank you for the advice +1

Essendon

I quite like the layout, it's neat and concise. Here are some suggested improvements.

1. Get rid of the Targetting Entry-Level HelpDesk Positions title right at the beginning. This way the HR person looking at your resume might go - O this guy just wants entry-level helpdesk, nothing else, delete, next. Why do you want to sell yourself short? Just write - Targetting a Helpdesk/Desktop Support position or something like this. That title put me off right away, TBH. A resume is all about selling yourself to the employer and something like that really limits your prospects.

2. You have only a few months of experience, too few IMO to help you land a better gig. You may have to last a few more months, or maybe a year to have some experience under your belt and have a realistic of getting the HR person interested in bringing you over for an interview.

3. Your current position should be in the Present tense, it's all in the past tense currently.

Hope this helps a little.

bugzy3188

The problem is, I am actually just a customer service rep at the store. It is me the owner and one other guy, I DO fix all of the computer issues but it is in no way an IT position. Do you think it is going to hurt me by embellishing my role like that? If the owner were asked, he would say that I fixed the computers/network when they went down, and I did actually complete the tasks listed in the selected contributions but those opportunities are far and few in between. The title is one made up by me, is that going to come off as dishonest?

Essendon wrote: »

I quite like the layout, it's neat and concise. Here are some suggested improvements.

1. Get rid of the Targetting Entry-Level HelpDesk Positions title right at the beginning. This way the HR person looking at your resume might go - O this guy just wants entry-level helpdesk, nothing else, delete, next. Why do you want to sell yourself short? Just write - Targetting a Helpdesk/Desktop Support position or something like this. That title put me off right away, TBH. A resume is all about selling yourself to the employer and something like that really limits your prospects.

2. You have only a few months of experience, too few IMO to help you land a better gig. You may have to last a few more months, or maybe a year to have some experience under your belt and have a realistic of getting the HR person interested in bringing you over for an interview.

3. Your current position should be in the Present tense, it's all in the past tense currently.

Hope this helps a little.

Essendon

It may, it may not. If your current title is Customer Service Representative, I guess you could also call yourself a Service Representative. You know, something that makes you sound more than just customer service (taking phone orders, tracking order, that kind of stuff). But I see your calling yourself Customer Service Representative/Computer and Network Technician, it may just be okay because your primarily a Customer Service Representative but double as a technician too. Dunno whether your current employer would like that.

It's fair to put on any IT experience on a resume, so if you've done something put it on. Think of anything computer related you may have done at some stage, tack it on.

Qord

One quick note on your cover letter: "get the job done right"...wrap it in quotes.

Sometimes it's the little things that stick out the most.