The first line of your resume shouldn't be....

Been going through IT resumes at work, and some of them are terribad. Don't put the following as the first line in your resume. Ever.

"Established 3 years in the IT Department changing keyboards"

or

"Advanced knowledge of employment laws"

edit 4: or <<Applicant Name>>

edit 3: or "Very Skilled At Computer Typing": (yes it was bolded)

EDIT: Also, resist the urge to include a photo of yourself playing basketball. edit 2 - I also don't care if you have excellent working knowledge of steinberg cubase 4.

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Comments

QHalo

+1 for making me almost choke on Cheetos

EV42TMAN

i alwats thought the first line on a resume after who you are is your former/present job title lol but what do i know

nkillgore

Apparently, you don't know how to change keyboards.

4_lom

"Advanced knowledge of employment laws" == That's funny

YFZblu

Winner

spicy ahi

So I guess BAMF is also a no no? Even if it's true?

N2IT

@EV That's what I am talking about!

nkillgore

spicy ahi wrote: »

So I guess BAMF is also a no no? Even if it's true?

you know, if someone had the cojones to write that on their resume, it might be worth an interview just to see what kind of person does that.

Devilry

nkillgore wrote: »

"Advanced knowledge of employment laws"
.

My favorite thing this week!

Rakurai

Have you seen any that say bohica, or anything close to that?

Jasiono

I got pictures of me playing paintball! is that good?

Some people really post pictures of themselves? The first thing I have on my resume, after the header of my contact information and address, is the objective.

nkillgore

Jasiono wrote: »

I got pictures of me playing paintball! is that good?

Some people really post pictures of themselves? The first thing I have on my resume, after the header of my contact information and address, is the objective.

Yes. People have really attached pictures of themselves.

edit: I feel like I should say this... If you put an objective at the top, it needs to be really specific. Not just "To work at a fast-paced dynamic company".

Akaricloud

A picture on your resume is common in other countries but it better still be professional!

I've thought about making a fake resume just to mess with recruiters at companies before.

nkillgore

Yep. Most of the photos we received were from people who currently live in another country. They were professional looking pictures, and I assumed that including them was standard for the country in which they lived. Most of those people were also highly qualified applicants. And then there was the guy from the U.S. who included a photo of himself in a basketball jersey.

spicy ahi

nkillgore wrote: »

Yes. People have really attached pictures of themselves.

edit: I feel like I should say this... If you put an objective at the top, it needs to be really specific. Not just "To work at a fast-paced dynamic company".

Some folks in the military whose only "resume" they've had are packets they've built for promotion or warrant officer/officer school may also contribute to this. Pictures are required for these packets so maybe the person just recently got out of the military? Then again, if he/she put a picture of them playing basketball, I might be wrong.

Also, I was always taught an objective statement was supposed to be fairly generic? Mine says "Network/Security Engineer seeking an opportunity to utilize and broaden current skills, as well as develop and expand new skills in a fast-paced, growing environment." As I was taught, the objective is supposed to hint at what you want to be if you're starting out, and if you're already working as what you want to be the objective should then highlight your strengths (like, "Network Engineer with 8+ years of routing and switching configuration seeks challenging environments to utilize and expand upon proven skills." That used to be my old objective)

nkillgore

Yours wouldn't bother me. It's the ones that could work for any company in any line of work that really rub me the wrong way. Especially when the person has no relevant experience.

boredgamelad

I've never been responsible for hiring people but my brother-in-law has and he once read the sentence "Looking to work for a company that will pay me to work for them" on a resume. Brilliant.

dcren21

nkillgore wrote: »

"Established 3 years in the IT Department changing keyboards"

I almost spit my soda onto my keyboard after this one. This is hilarious.

paulgswanson

I've never been responsible for hiring people but my brother-in-law has and he once read the sentence "Looking to work for a company that will pay me to work for them" on a resume. Brilliant.

Short and to the point....

cyberguypr

Sometimes it is hard to believe those Careerbuilder type articles that present all the ridiculous stuff people put on resumes or say during interviews. Those of us who have been involved in hiring quickly find out the article is spot on. One of the worst resumes I've seen was a guy looking for janitorial work. I am convinced he was either drunk or stoned when he wrote it. He even left out ALL contact info. It was just his name and ramblings about being tidy and cleaning offices. Nothing else.

It bogs my mind why foreigners don't spend some time researching resume styles and best practices of the regions where they are searching. How's that for attention to detail!

KenC

dcren21 wrote: »

I almost spit my soda onto my keyboard after this one. This is hilarious.

You know who to call on so if it stops working.

SteveLord

3 years changing keyboards? Does he wipe them too? It's not like they're diapers.

nkillgore

SteveLord wrote: »

3 years changing keyboards? Does he wipe them too? It's not like they're diapers.

Probably got to the point where he could plug in a usb cable without looking.

missy2687

KenC wrote: »

You know who to call on so if it stops working.

Nice! LOL

N2IT

He might even known the older legacy PS2 connectors.

higherho

Hey now those RF adapters are pretty rare in this age of HDMI :P

UnixGuy

Ask him if he is certified in keyboards???

drkat

i like to do the following:

[name] [info]
[summary]
Hard working IT professional with a passion for inappropriate touch Tuesdays.
Knows State Sexual harrassment laws well.

kurosaki00

LOL
this thread made my day

notaprogrammer

Would it be possible for you (original poster) to post a picture/scan of the best resume that you find? formatting wise/content wise so that those of us looking for jobs can use that as a reference?

Thanks!