My Resume, your critque, simple question.

Roguetadhg

Blank your mind from ever knowing me. I have 0 posts, and a new person. I want a unbiased opinion of my resume!

Would you hire me?



I'm trying to find an Entry-level NOC / engineering position. Based on my resume, would it stand a chance? Ive been filling applications and not even a bite. I think my resume is pretty spiffy, too.

networker050184

Not to be too harsh, but I don't like the resume at all and wouldn't give you a call.

You have a one liner for each job. Show me what you have done at those place and what you can do for me! Especially at the Lead Technical Support position.

The vast majority of the resume is wasted on some obscure bullet points that I don't know where they even fall in with your positions.

The summary is very weak and not well written. Tell me a little something about your technical background here or at least something to grab my attention. Its obvious you want a job or I wouldn't be looking at your resume to begin with.

RouteThisWay

I would move your certifications/education to the top. Since you are seeking entry level that is the most impressive. Once your experience is more impressive than your certifications/education, then put it ahead.

I would completely remove the Skills/Knowledge/Experience section. Then I would focus on fleshing out the experience under your Employment history. Your most recent one seems like a tech job, so I would flesh that one out the most with as much IT related things you can put under there.


Just my opinion. I wouldn't call it "spiffy" as it is- sorry. (You're a new poster, remember?! Nothing personal)

EDIT: See Networker's advice above.

Hypntick

Also, and this is just my opinion, really expand the job description for the IT related job you've got on there. As for the other jobs, less detail, but try and highlight things that can be used to your advantage in IT that you did at those jobs.

NetworkVeteran

Roguetadhg wrote: »

Would you hire me?

No, sorry.

For your work experience, I need to know from when to when you worked there, so I can identify if you stay with a company long enough to be useful, and to identify any gaps in your employment that need an explanation. I also need to know what you did at these companies that might be relevant to my role. Without any of these details, you have no work history for me to consider, and if you're over 18, that's a negative. You probably have a good work history, so show that.

As far as certification, that seems like the highlight of your resume. That and maybe the A.S. degree. I would put those near to the top, not the bottom.

The skills/experience section is a mess. I'd delete this entirely.

Items #1,#3, & #4 relate to your education. These should be in your education section.

Items #2, #5, #6, #7, & #9 relate to your jobs. These should be in your work experience section, and tied to specific dates so we know how much experience you have doing these.

Item #8? No idea what "United States Air Force" means in the context of skills / experience. If you were in the USAF, put it in your work history. Veterans are sometimes preferred.

The summary? I like the bit about "willing to relocate". I think it's good to clarify that.

Hopefully your name/phone/address/e-mail appear on the real resume.

Roguetadhg

I'm already in the process of redoing the resume based on everyone's suggestions.

RouteThisWay

Feel free to post it up when you have a revision

FloOz

take out that first line where you wrote that you completed the course work to get an a.s. degree. this line is pointless since you are already saying that you have a degree. also dont put you gpa unless its a 3.9-4.0

where the heck are all the list of your duties??? you should at least have job descriptions for your last two jobs or something. theres too much white space all over.

also give yourself a more enthusiastic summary.

one more thing. you dont need to be putting every job you have ever had. like assembler and folf course maintence should be taken out.

NetworkVeteran

pruspeter wrote: »

also dont put you gpa unless its a 3.9-4.0

I'd list a 3.35 GPA since it's better than average. Why let employers imagine worse?

Virginia Tech recommends its grads to list 3.4+.
Berekely recommends its grads to list 3.0+.
Penn State recommends its grads to list 3.0+.
Texas A&M recommends its grads to list 3.0+.
Princeton recommends its grads to list 3.0+.

Roguetadhg

New resume.

RouteThisWay

I liked your old summary. Your new one states "earned CCNA and CCENT while working full time". That is a given- most people work full time and get certs. Plus, you already mention you have these certs under your certifications. You also said "willing to relocate, as well as travel to maintain" to maintain what?...

Again, drop Skill/Knowledge/Experience. Those two bullet points aren't adding anything to the resume imo.

Education- I would format the name of the school to be in line with the company names under experience.


Experience-
"Created batch scripts to create accountability" How do batch scripts create accountability?
"Created and maintain..." Choose one form of the verb. Since you use past tense, stick with "maintained".
"Installed working Wireless. Responsible for maintain to wireless network for various clients." Grammar check. And are we talking about 802.11?
"Maintained working hours while emergency updates and installs during the night" Again, grammar. And this really doesn't make much sense. Do you mean you provided after hours support to provide critical support/maintenance to systems?
"Installed door bell system using Ethernet ports. Maintain door bell for main doors" You literally used an Ethernet port to install a door bell? And again grammar.
"intercompany promotion to as the only IT personnel for the South Caroline Branch Office." Grammar again.
"Helped to maintained backup generator throughout winters" Grammar again.

Still needs some work, but getting much better! I would go over it again with a spell check and some grammar checking! Keep at it!

Out of curiosity, and please don't take this the wrong way, is English your first language? I only ask because it seems to be a lot of the same grammar mistakes. Mistakes like this can really get your resume in the shredder fast.

Also, have you considered maybe taking a resume writing course? I think you have some experience in your current position you could list- maybe taking a class could help organize your thoughts and really help you get that interview you want!

networker050184

Write out an actual summary, or at least better bullet points. 'Willing to relocate, as well as travel to maintain' - Maintain what? Makes no sense to me.

I'd put your education and certifications together at the top. You don't really need to specify vendor categories for certs IMO.

I'd lose the Skill/Knowledge/Experience section. You already have other sections to cover this information.

Overall the quality of writing is very bad. Take your time and go over it. For example - 'Installed working Wireless. Responsible for maintain to wireless network for various clients' - sounds like something a second grader would write. It doesn't make any sense and there are capitalization mistakes etc. You are trying to make a good first impression on someone and this seems just sloppy.

Roguetadhg

Yes. I literally wired and soldered wires together from ethernet cabling, used a joiner for the wallplate, routed to the patch panel looped back into the patch panel into another wall plate then another joiner connection for the bell. Of course, had to get a transformer for it. On the loop back, I made it split off and connect to the transformer to create the circuit.

I had the batch files setup the time and date when the script was ran on the computer. So in case there's a question of "when" or "if". It created a way as providing proof that something was installed / ran

Yes. English is my first language. I was rushing to put ideas down and put it back up here. It's a rough draft.

NetworkVeteran

RogueTag wrote:

I literally wired and soldered wires together from ethernet cabling, used a joiner for the wallplate, routed to the patch panel looped back into the patch panel into another wall plate then another joiner connection for the bell. Of course, had to get a transformer for it. On the loop back, I made it split off and connect to the transformer to create the circuit

Think like a hiring manager. For each line, ask whether it sells your experience, education, or certifications. If it doesn't do any of these, it probably doesn't belong.

Resume wrote:

Installed door bell system using Ethernet ports. Maintain door bell for main doors

Your hiring manager is unlikely to be looking for doorbell installers or maintainers.

Your wiring experience, on the other hand, may prove helpful in certain roles.

Revised wrote:

Performed basic wiring, including splitting and soldering Cat5E cable to install a doorbell system.

Roguetadhg

Can I use the revised version for my resume? It was beautiful.

NetworkVeteran

LoL! Go for it. Just add me to the credits when you're a big-time NOC engineer.

networker050184

I wouldn't use that resume.

Roguetadhg

Im in the process of editing again, and posting the 3rd edition.

Akaricloud

There is no way I would ever hire anyone with this type of resume for a technical position, mostly because it has really poor English. The grammer is all over the place, as is the punctuation and capitalization. From a hiring standpoint if this is an example of your best work then there's no way I would ever want you near my company.

I would strongly suggest you start from scratch on this one and follow a better format.

Roguetadhg

3rd time's a charm.

Im not satisfied with the grammar. I'm still not satisfied with the summary, I gave it a once over looking at different examples from google.

Roguetadhg

Bump Prior to sending to AT&T

dave330i

Better than the first one. Add more detail to each bullet point. You can drop items like working after hours for emergency updates and getting promotion. More details on batch script. What type of documents did you create? How did you educate and increase awareness to security needs? Did you write a policy? How did you minimize downtime?

Your first bullet is in present tense, while rest of the resume is in past tense.

Akaricloud

Your summary and bullet points are still very gramatically flawed. At my place of employment it would be immediately trashed at the first HR level.

Please don't take this the wrong way but you could really benefit from some professional writing courses. The level of writing demonstrated in this resume is not only going to hold you back from obtaining jobs, but also from keeping them or advancing. Regardless of your position you will be expected to write professionally be it email, documentation, proposals, ect. Again, this needs to be an example of your BEST work. Even casual emails sent within my company are much stronger gramatically.

cyberguypr

Understand that some of us have been involved in hiring and are criticizing from that perspective. Bluntly speaking, if I see your resume I would discard it immediately. At this point I suggest taking a step back, perusing the board for examples of successful resumes (Everyone and a few others have posted) and then see how yours compares to those. You will quickly be able to identify the areas that need improvement.