New Job! Also: Working away from family

bermovick

So last week I got an offer letter to be an "intermediate network engineer" for a government contractor that won a contract bid. The offer is contingent on me being able to get a security clearance again, so I'm a little concerned there ... but that's not the point of this post.

I'm super excited as this sounds like a REALLY great opportunity (provided I get the S.C and don't leave my current job and end up out of work...). I think my excitement might even have been a factor in getting the offer. Contract is for 3 years and I'll be the middle of 3 people in the network team. Will deal with the whole she-bang from design to implementation to maintenance.

I mean 3 years of solid experience, plus the security clearance, PLUS 3 years is a good chunk of time to work on knocking out the CCIE. It just boggles the mind how far this could advance me towards my goals. (Probably why I'm so worried - nothing THIS good could ever work out, right?)

Anyways...

One of the things stressing me out lately though (besides the S.C haha) is that the job is about 4 hours away from where we live now - I'm trying to figure out if it'd be better to pack everyone up (wife, daughter, 3 pets) and rent some house down in the area, or leave them here with our mortgage (it's really cheap and about 1/2 paid off) while I get some dirt-cheap apartment in the area and come home on the weekends.

I'm curious if anyone else has worked at that distance where it's close enough not to have to move but far enough away you wouldn't want to drive it every day and what they did / how they dealt with it / their thoughts on it afterwards.

TLeTourneau

Been there, done that. I was in a similar situation and went with the stay remote for the week, come home on weekends option. It's tough but it made sense for me. See if there is an Extended Stay America in the new city and check the rates, where I was it was comparable to renting a studio and included maid service and other amenities.

Zartanasaurus

Why not do both? Rent an apartment out there for 6-12 months and see how things go. If they meet your expectations, pack your family up and find a place out there.

Krones

First off, congratulations. Very exciting and potentially an opportunity of a lifetime. I have not been in your exact situation but a 3 hour commute. I tried to convince her to do the apartment/weekend deal but she instead commuted and it lasted about a year. It was really hard on our relationship primarily for her rather than me since I worked nights and we had completely opposite schedules... It really depends on the wife and of course you. Does she have family there, employment, etc? This is really a choice you two need to make together. I am not sure how old your daughter is but do you want to miss out on all those moments of her life and all those memories? Of course not, it is a huge sacrifice at the cost of awesome career advancement. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six. Some couples can handle the distance fine (military couples especially!) and others cannot. You could always rent out the house so you do not lose it and rent something for the whole family in the new place.

sieff

I was faced with a similar decision also. Had job offer that paid $40K more - great company, they'd pay for first three CCIE lab attempts, but my wife would lose her career path if we left. We decided to stay and consider relocating to only areas where she'd be able to find work as well...

dave330i

I've never done it, but I had several co-workers do it. It's cheaper to rent a room vs. renting an apartment.

bermovick

Good points all - mostly stuff I've considered already but it's good to hear others come up with the same ideas.

We both have family here (it's why our mortgage is so cheap - paying for family for house they own), and she's employed here, although what I make there is equal to what we both make here (not that I'm making a HUGE jump in salary... she just doesn't make very much)

Didn't think the area would have any extended-stay hotels but a google-search shows they do. Rates look similar to what the furnished apartments in the area are though - around $800 per month.