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Boss knows that you want to leave

knownhero

So today I was in a 2 weekly meeting and everything was okay, until that is... I was asked to stay back for 5 minutes for a chat. It pretty much started "What are you doing here? Everyone in the office knows you don't want to be here. We are now working assuming you're going to leave us are you?" I say yes.

Basically now he's gone and told everyone and its as if I have to walk on egg shells they all look at me funny and give me one worded answers. I think he's now going to look for any possible thing to get rid of me now, looks like I'm going to keep my head down, focus on the studying and just apply for places.

But it still doesn't make the feeling of being watched go away.

What should I do?

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Comments

gchild00

Oh buddy, it's like that all the time at my job. Although it's too late the best bet is to not say anything at all not even to coworkers until you have an offer at a new job and have put in your 2 weeks notice. I think you answered your own question though; focus on getting another job and keep studying. They probably won't look to give you too much more responsibilities so that means you can concentrate on other things but with an environment like that, I doubt anyone would be willing to let you use them as a reference.

networker050184

How did he know you wanted to leave? I guess it's a little late to change that now though but might be a lesson learned for the future. Might not want to let things come out until you really want them to.

Now there really isn't much you can do that all your cards are on the table. Do your job well until you find a new one would be my advice. Keep it professional and leave on a good note.

jibbajabba

I had a phone interview in an empty office in our company once (silly mistake too) - when I got out my manager asked me how the interview went (whoops).

zxshockaxz

@jibbajabba
Oh man.. this gave me a little bit of a chuckle.

As others have stated: Take it as a lesson learned type deal. From my experience, as soon as an employer finds out that someone is leaving, they immediately start searching for a new candidate for the job. My advice is to just keep doing what you're doing. Still work as hard as you normally would (or harder), and keep looking for a new job.
I wouldn't recommend a phone interview in the office though

nosoup4u

Similar situation happened to me before my current job about 5 years ago.

I was looking to leave and got an offer for a company and they called my references and HR at the job I was working at to confirm my employment.

Well low and behold my supervisor finds out somehow and things were tense.

To make matters worse, the job that called to confirm and get reference checks actually decided to promote from within at the last minute or so I was told...

So now I was stuck working at the job I was trying to leave with my current supervisor and management knowing I was looking.

I luckly found my current gig and have been here ever since.

knownhero

Yeah to be honest when I said "yes" I was thinking to myself... "What an idiot you should have said no". But like you said lesson learned. I'm hoping to hear back from a interview I had next week so fingers crossed!

NetworkVeteran

knownhero wrote: »

We are now working assuming you're going to leave us are you?" I say yes. Basically now he's gone and told everyone

In other words, your employer has good communication skills, both confirming your intent to leave and sharing that information with your co-workers. I'm not sure what you expected to happen. Put yourself in his shoes, and imagine one of your employees had announced their intent to leave. I certainly wouldn't bless them with the choicest work assignments, award bonuses or include them in long-term planning. My thoughts would turn to their replacement.

Lesson learned: Give two weeks' notice.

cyberguypr

HA! We've all pulled the amateur hour show at some point. I've just been lucky and never been busted

. I am also curious if this is a case of a slip-up or an "I told my buddy who I thought I could trust" scenario. Either way, what done is done. Right now your are that guy that doesn't want to be there.

As other have said, keep doing the best you can until something else comes along and you can get out of there. It may not happen right away, but just in case I would operate on the assumption that they could kick me out anytime. That way there are no surprises.

NetworkVeteran

Yeah to be honest when I said "yes" I was thinking to myself... "What an idiot you should have said no".

If you intend to leave, that would've been worse. A reputation for lying and low integrity can follow you.

The mistake was in prematurely disclosing an intent to leave in the first place. (Whatever led him to single out you from among all his employees and makes such claims and put that question to you.)

the_Grinch

I always hate employers like that. My second job out of school I ran into an issue like that. Promises were made and not kept, so I let them know in my review that I intended to look elsewhere. They bumped me up a bit with the understanding that I stay on another six months. I said I didn't see that being an issue and eight months later I found a new position. Sales manager finds out and sends me an email ripping me to shreds. Basically amounted to how I was ungrateful and that they had bent over backwards for me (mind you I stood by the deal I made and was staying on for a month to train my replacement). He ended the email by asking what was needed to make me stay?

Employers need to know that they aren't the end all be all. There are jobs to be had out there and if someone is gracious enough to give you a heads up you should be happy. Is what it is at this point, just keep your head down and keep doing your job till you leave.

redz

I'm gonna get combative real quick:

Your boss should always know you want to leave before you drop papers. If you aren't happy and you aren't bringing it up with your boss, then you failed - your boss didn't.

Sit down with your boss, talk about what you want and expect out of the job, what your goals are, and what your boss thinks you need to do to achieve those goals. Obviously you didn't have this talk during on-boarding, 30/60/90s, or (tri/semi-)annual reviews. That's as much your fault as your boss's.

Both your level of expectations and your boss's must coincide, and if either of you feel that they don't, then you're on the short list to leave, anyways. Hiring isn't cheap, they're more likely to try to work with you to achieve your goals, assuming you're a good employee, than to fire you or even just let you leave. It's good business, because replacing you would be expensive. If you're taking that opportunity away from them, you're hurting both yourself and your company.

Your manager isn't doing a good job, but to be a great employee you need to make those around you better. You can help your manager do a better job by requesting reviews. Ask to sit down in his/her office and have these conversations.

EDIT: And don't lie, don't be like "no i luv it hurr i'm not leeve///". That's a straight up waste of everyone's time.

grave_digger

About 8 months ago I went through the same situation and am still here at the job I hate. Really I cant stand my coworkers but like my job. I would like to be in a better situation but like the o.p. I tolled my director and he ratted me out after he promised to keep quiet. I know people lie.

Think you shouldnt trust anyone in a workplace people are snitches and always have hidden agendas.

I suggest you do your job even better know so that at least they dont say that since your eager to leave you dont care about the job anymore.

Good luck in finding another job.

Its nice to see someones has had my same experience.

blargoe

If the boss senses something is wrong, you can't lie and say there isn't anything wrong, I agree that would have been worse. I don't know that I would have come out and say "I'm looking for something else", but I would take the time to discuss grievances/frustrations for sure. Of course, I have the advantage of hindsight and not being put on the spot like you were... I don't know how I would have actually answered the question, if I had been in your shoes at that point in time.

LarryDaMan

People come and go, I don't always understand the consternation and why everything has to be so personal. Be professional. Work hard until the very end. Give 2 weeks notice (or more if required). If you were indispensable, highly valued, and treated as such; you likely wouldn't have been looking for a new position in the first place.

In this industry, you often have to move on if you want to move up, yet they want to treat you like a traitor. Screw em, be professional but always look out for number one (yourself).

tpatt100

Any decent employer should be professional enough to handle a situation better than that. Of course you kind of messed things up a lot on your end but stuff happens. A couple of times where I put my notice in my manager sat down with me and asked what things I thought I should pass off and to whom, another manager asked me a few questions on things he could have done better if there was anything. He also asked me what I would recommend to help keep the rest of the team around, I did tell him a couple of people that I felt were the main "go to" people in the group and he might run into issues if they were to leave.

Nutsacjac

knownhero wrote: »

What should I do?

- keep your eyes open for new opportunities. I'd work under the assumption that my current job is taking steps on finding my replacement(and may terminate me for that person at any moment)

- work on keeping your cards closer to your vest at work. From your story it sounds like it was an open secret that you weren't happy at your job. That shouldn't happen. Loose lips sink ships, friend.

knownhero

Thanks for the replies all. I think what set alarms ringing to him is when I came back from my holiday, I hardly said a word to anyone other than the usual small talk. I also have a feeling maybe my attitude has been a bit poor. I just sit down and do my work an hours lunch all without talking much.

Also for the last 3-4 months now I've been leaving bang on 5pm, I used to sit back for a bit (unpaid) but now I clock in and clock out on time.

From all you've guys said I'm just going to keep my head down don't let my work quality slide and just keep on looking to leave. I sure as heck couldn't last 8 months there like someone in this post has done.... congratulations on that

MrXpert

@knownhero
Nothing wrong with leaving at 5. Those are your contracted hours are they not?
Too many companies take the piss and expect employees leave a few minutes after 5. Well most people I know officially start at 9 but actually sit down at their desk, log in before 9. So in reality the company should be paying them for the extra time but they dont. In fact most companies are rather picky when it comes to recognizing this behaviour. yet they are quiet happy to watch and wait like vultures when someone leaves at 5 yet play the "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" when a worker is before 9. Happens all over the place. Companies like people staying after 5 because they then feel they have control over staff.Capitalism at its finest.

Back on topic though if you want to leave, leave but just stay professional. No need to do extra time for them if you're not getting paid for it.

Haunt

So say you're looking for another job and you keep it to yourself and no one at your current workplace knows, however the people at your current job are your only references, what should you do?

When filling out job applications there's sometimes a question whether its okay to contact your current employer, and on one hand I want to check mark that so they don't contact them so they won't find out I'm looking to leave, but on the other hand I don't want it to reflect badly on me that I'm check marking that in the first place. Like making them think that I have something to hide.

Should I just put the general contact info for the company I work for and hope that they only contact HR to confirm my employment and hope that HR doesn't let my boss know? This stuff annoys me so much.

NetworkVeteran

Haunt wrote: »

So say you're looking for another job and you keep it to yourself and no one at your current workplace knows, however the people at your current job are your only references, what should you do?

Reference checks usually occur near the end of the applying/interview/hiring process. I do not allow anyone to contact my references until we've more or less agreed the position is a good fit for us and have a rough rate in mind.

(This is independent of current/past employer. I don't want my colleagues harassed.)

When filling out job applications there's sometimes a question whether its okay to contact your current employer, and on one hand I want to check mark that so they don't contact them so they won't find out I'm looking to leave, but on the other hand I don't want it to reflect badly on me

Say, "Will share later in hiring process."

Like making them think that I have something to hide.

You do! You're hiding from your present employer that you're interviewing for other jobs.

Should I just... hope

Never. Take control of your destiny.