Ok is this resume less suck now?

5502george

I made the changes that some have recommended (thanks BTW). What do you think of the resume now? BE AS HONEST AS POSSIBLE!

EDIT: Here is the updated/updated/updated one lol. And thanks again for all of your help!

.....Please critique as much as possible as this is only helping me!

networker050184

Your first couple sentences do not make much sense to me. I'd try to word them a bit better.

You could probably format it a lot better to get it to a single page. No need to list your education twice. Not a big fan of the technical proficiency section and I'd drop the campaign medals.

I'd definitely get rid of the professional associations unless you have any that are applicable to the job you are applying for. No one needs to know about your NRA association.... If I saw this resume it would be a major red flag that someone would list that on their professional resume.

DCD

It a little better now. Now I know you're looking for a IT position in security. You still did not spell out what this is "Cyber Surety Certificate" from a civillian side I would say you misspelled security. As I said last time take off the professional associations move you you're Academic Education above certificates and move tech proficiencies below certificates. Remove the degrees from the summary area and put the security clearance into the summary sentence.

5502george

Ok noted on both, how is this? It seems a bit cluttered but maybe its just my take.

alucheni

You should probably get rid of the word 'hastily'. This word tends to imply recklessness.

networker050184

Looks better, but I still don't like your summary at all. It doesn't read well. This should be the best part of your resume as it will be the first thing someone reads. I don't like the italics either, but that just may be a personal preference.

I'd also change certificates to certifications.

alucheni

Yeah, your headline is a mess (sorry!). Try replacing it with this:


Network administrator with specializations in I.T security and personnel management. Experienced in
securing desktop, database, and data/voice technologies.


Hopefully this helps?

5502george

networker050184 wrote: »

Looks better, but I still don't like your summary at all. It doesn't read well. This should be the best part of your resume as it will be the first thing someone reads. I don't like the italics either, but that just may be a personal preference.

I'd also change certificates to certifications.

I understand. I did not even know what a summary was until now so what about this as a summary?

networker050184

I like it! Definitely a resume that would catch my eye from a pile. Love how you have a lot of quantifiable accomplishments in your employment section.

5502george

networker050184 wrote: »

I like it! Definitely a resume that would catch my eye from a pile. Love how you have a lot of quantifiable accomplishments in your employment section.

Thanks, its only becasue of people like you that people like me succeed!

alucheni

Agreed. Much better summary.