Left a bad job but don't feel better.

draught · July 2018

I've been struggling with this damn job for 3 months and I finally broke down. I could not get out of bed for two days in a row. On the second day I just sent out a resignation letter because I will never allow myself to be fired and I know that's grounds for it.

Health was an actual reason but behind that it was because that the job was supposed to be just be a desktop support type job but my duties spiraled out of out control. It's to the point where I'm having to deal with executives and not to fix machines but make plans for projects. Too much, too much. The stress was killing me.

I work IT. I deal with machines and I work with individual clients. I am not a project manager, and I'm not good at it. My boss was never happy with me and that's what was expected from me. I should never taken that job to begin with. It was gamble I wanted to see if I could push myself into something different and I learned a valuable lesson.

All the recruiter knows is I left due to "health issues" and stress, and that's all the client knows as well.

I do feel like like I want to tell my former boss the real story but I'm afraid of saying anything honestly. I don't want anything I say used against me if it can be? I left without notice because my health failed me. There's no point though I just need to move on.

Moving forward I just want a nice simple desktop support role I do want to get into networking but I need to renew my certs. I have an old job I can go back to if I need to but with the job market I don't think it will be too difficult since I have multiyear experience and almost have my degree done.

Will need to figure out how to explain these past 3 months...

scaredoftests · July 2018

Have you had other jobs? If so, if you don't want to explain..don't put it on your resume and just say you have been looking for 3 months.

Danielm7 · July 2018

draught wrote: »

All the recruiter knows is I left due to "health issues" and stress, and that's all the client knows as well.

I do feel like like I want to tell my former boss the real story but I'm afraid of saying anything honestly. I don't want anything I say used against me if it can be? I left without notice because my health failed me. There's no point though I just need to move on.

You already sent in a resignation letter, don't go back and try to explain yourself to your old boss. Sometimes jobs don't work out, but really, have you considered therapy? I know responsibility creep is a thing and many of us end up doing a million things more than the original job was described as, but if you've hit the point in a few months where you can't get out of bed for days, that sounds like a bigger problem than just the one job.

Either way, good luck and sorry you had such a negative experience.

the_Grinch · July 2018

I never felt good when I've quit a job even when it was stressful and negative so I suspect you're doing alright. Most likely you'll feel better when you get a new position doing what it is you want to do. I'd agree there is no need to explain to your former boss why you left. First, it really isn't any of his business. Second, my past experience has shown that attempting to explain things ultimately just leads to sour grapes and upset people. It's not personal, but past bosses have taken things very personal when I've left (be it with notice or without). One job I gave close to six week notice and trained my replacement only to have the head of sales send the nastiest email I've ever received (ending with asking me to stay...).

In regards to listing the job or not I would leave it off. You already have years of experience and honestly they will most likely want to contact the company to speak with them. Laws and company policies are different in every state so it's not worth the risk of a bad reference. In my state they are only able to state the dates you were employed and thus personal references become important.

Final note, stress is a killer and your reaction to it will make it worse. I'd suggest exercising, meditating and just getting outside a bit to do anything. Therapy is always an option and you can do that online now (my friend's wife works through an app and has some regular clients). I often tell people if you aren't ok with you then nothing will go right. The good point is you know what you want to do and have a goal (to get into networking) so start concentrating on that goal and you'll be in great shape.

Good luck!

scaredoftests · July 2018

Get a peloton bike. Wow, what a stress killer!!

volfkhat · July 2018

scaredoftests wrote: »

Have you had other jobs? If so, if you don't want to explain..don't put it on your resume and just say you have been looking for 3 months.

^^ Yep, nailed it.
Problem Solved :]

draught wrote: »

...I work IT. I deal with machines and I work with individual clients. I am not a project manager, and I'm not good at it. My boss was never happy with me and that's what was expected from me. I should never taken that job to begin with. It was gamble I wanted to see if I could push myself into something different and I learned a valuable lesson.

Hey now brother; Don't be so hard on yourself :]
If you never take risks/new-challenges, then how can you really ever grow?

You saw an opportunity, and you decided to give it a try.

As homer would say:
"You Tried Your Best and You Failed Miserably. The Lesson Is Never Try"

lol
Okay, maybe that's not the lesson :]
But dont be so hard on yourself.

There was definitely some EXp gained;
1) Sounds like you KNOW that you suck/hate project Management.
that's good to know for next time :]

2) "the job was supposed to be just be a desktop support type job but my duties spiraled out of out control."
Again, you are Not alone. This has happened to many unfortunate souls.

Next time, think about how to PUSH BACK on these "extras".
It will definitely be an awkward conversation.. but that's what being a adult is all about :]

Everybody gets knocked down.
The question is... will you get back up?
:]

DatabaseHead · July 2018

A lot of good sound advice in this thread.

Don't beat yourself up over it...... At the end of the day it's just a job. Some people have a high tolerance to certain task/positions and sometimes it's just not an organic fit.

I'd probably leave it off your resume though, 3 months is going to raise huge red flags.

I wouldn't follow up with your boss, that sounds strange to me, no offense.

draught · July 2018

Doesn't everyone a have therapist these days? It's fair to say I may have my own issues at times but there other forums to talk about that. I know when to ask for help and have the support I need.

I've worked many different positions with no problems it was the incredible stress of this position that I couldn't cope with. It's the employer's fault too for throwing me out there and expecting me to do all that in just two months. I know for a fact 2 others held that position and left suddenly after 2 to 6 months so it's not just me.

The professional advice I'm getting is to finish my degree and put that above everything else. That logic exists because I only have two classes to graduate. I could be done by the end of August if not sooner.

Still planning what to do over the weekend but finishing the degree ASAP and also applying for jobs makes the most sense. The more I think about it I'm really leaning on the idea of pushing to finish the degree NOW and maybe waiting to apply for jobs. I need to do more research.

Thanks for all the advice and support.

DatabaseHead · July 2018

I would probably bang out the two courses as well.

Left a bad job but don't feel better.

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