Soft Skills Lacking - Shooting Self in Foot?
*Note: TL;DR @ bottom
I'm kind of in a weird spot now that I'm 4 months in my first legitimate IT role. I'm in all regards—excluding title—a glorified helpdesk tech.
This company is way small and the knights of the office I'm at are the devs. They are basically the ones treated like royalty due to the fact that the major output of the company is.... you guessed it... software.
I wouldn't mind the role as much if it didn't feel like I was being thrown to the wolves. The guy who I've been shadowing for only a couple months has already decided to move on—and he was new!
The meetings I've had with upper management have all screamed messages of "you need to be up to pace with everything we've done since starting this company and you also need to be up to par with the skill-set/work-execution of the previous employees".
My immediate answer to this is "why should I?!"
I am by nature, a very introverted person. I do not seek meaningless conversation nor do I engage in pointless, time-wasting conversations with other coworkers. I honestly don't find the need to and I don't care to invest myself in their lives any more than I already am.
Due to that, I've been noticing weird behaviors in response to my behavior where I haven't ever been hostile to anyone. Just because I don't start chatting up with someone at the water cooler doesn't mean I'm not friendly. I always try to be as friendly as I can so that they'll want to come to me when they have problems. I smile (most of the time) and I ask people if they're doing OK (with their equipment).
I will admit that my social skills are not the best around but I do my job. That should be all anyone cares about but it's not the simple, apparently.
I get off fine with my teammates. Again, I don't chat on during the day... which might be awkward to some, but then again I'm not that interesting of a person.
I'm becoming very self-aware to the fact that people in my office are starting to regard me as someone who they might not want to depend on.
I'm still fulfilling requests and I'm doing my job as best as I can considering it's my first. The fact remains that that degree I spent 4 years working towards didn't prep me for anything I'm experiencing now. Even from a technical perspective, unless you've actually used the tools and have experience going through the many processes involved in a real-world/production environment, you aren't being setup to succeed. You're just being setup with the bare-minimum and that's discerning. It doesn't help that the leadership here isn't ideal in that they have the most unrealistic of expectations and seem to just believe that IT can do anything. Their style is to delegate with the minimalist prep.
What role or position in IT would I be a better fit for?
This job is way too service-oriented and I'm constantly feeling as though I'm not cut out for it. I thought being a Security Analyst would be my dream job but I don't really even know what one would be expected to do.