Man charged with battery after passing gas

This was just too funny not to post.

SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va.–A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.

Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.

As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.

Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.

"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.

He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.

Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.

"I couldn't hold it no more," he said.

He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.

Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him.

"This is ridiculous," he said. "I could be facing time."

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Comments

rfult001

LMAO! I feel a little bad for the guy having an asthma attack, but that some funny stuff right there I tell ya.

paintb4707

How is farting on an officer considered bodily harm?

shednik

That is ridiculous

snadam

why did the guy rip ass on an office in the first place? While I dont necessarily agree with the crime charged for it, there has to be something along the lines of 'insubordinate behavior' that should be charged.

Besides, there was a good chance the officer could have gotten pink-eye

networker050184

snadam wrote:

Besides, there was a good chance the officer could have gotten pink-eye icon_wink.gif

tiersten

Considering how liberally some people apply their perfume or aftershave, I would expect more cases like this soon...

Can I claim mental assault if I think somebody is really fugly?

paintb4707

snadam wrote:

why did the guy rip ass on an office in the first place? While I dont necessarily agree with the crime charged for it, there has to be something along the lines of 'insubordinate behavior' that should be charged.

Besides, there was a good chance the officer could have gotten pink-eye

I don't see how farting on anyone could be classified as any crime. Maybe if he pulled his pants down, then that would be indecent exposure but it doesn't say that he did.

snadam

paintb4707 wrote:

snadam wrote:

why did the guy rip ass on an office in the first place? While I dont necessarily agree with the crime charged for it, there has to be something along the lines of 'insubordinate behavior' that should be charged.

Besides, there was a good chance the officer could have gotten pink-eye

I don't see how farting on anyone could be classified as any crime. Maybe if he pulled his pants down, then that would be indecent exposure but it doesn't say that he did.

"Assault with a deadly fart"?

childish? yes. Hilarious? HELL YEA!!!

HeroPsycho

paintb4707 wrote:

How is farting on an officer considered bodily harm?

Depends on the fart...

paintb4707

HeroPsycho wrote:

paintb4707 wrote:

How is farting on an officer considered bodily harm?

Depends on the fart...

Imagine if he SHARTED?

rfult001

paintb4707 wrote:

snadam wrote:

why did the guy rip ass on an office in the first place? While I dont necessarily agree with the crime charged for it, there has to be something along the lines of 'insubordinate behavior' that should be charged.

Besides, there was a good chance the officer could have gotten pink-eye

I don't see how farting on anyone could be classified as any crime. Maybe if he pulled his pants down, then that would be indecent exposure but it doesn't say that he did.

Have to say it. Good chance of getting brown-eye...

Kaminsky

paintb4707 wrote:

How is farting on an officer considered bodily harm?

If I was an armed police officer and some twit did that to me I would shoot him in the butthole and claimed self defence !

It is a rule laid down at the dawn of time that a man can only appreciate his OWN farts Everyone elses are a serious assault !

snadam

paintb4707 wrote:

HeroPsycho wrote:

paintb4707 wrote:

How is farting on an officer considered bodily harm?

Depends on the fart...

Imagine if he SHARTED?

again, chance of pink-eye

L0gicB0mb508

Well geez, West Virgina made Techexams. I don't live very far from Clarksburg. Most cops here probably deserve it anyway. hah.

Silentsoul

My question is where are the parents in all this?

cbigbrick

Officer, pull ma finger!!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/play/756/

moss12

far out man i cant stop laughing at this