Another Resume Critique

Alright guys, this is the first time I've uploaded my resume for critique. I wasn't getting very many calls with my original resume, so I've done a complete overhaul and I was wondering if you kind folks can tell me what you think.

Currently, I provide application support for a bank. This is great and all but it's not what I want to be doing for the rest of my career. I'm trying to secure a position doing desktop and server management. Don't hold back. I'd rather hear it from you guys rather than a hiring manager which could cost me a job. Thanks in advance!

So, go ahead....tear into it....

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Alif_Sadida_Ekin

Sorry, the images lost quality when I uploaded them. They're kind of hard to see, so I copy/pasted the contents here.

Alif_Sadida_Ekin
Street Name City, State Zipcode
Phone Number
Email Address

Summary

Certified IT support professional with over 5 years of experience in various support roles such as helpdesk, desktop support, application support, training, and server administration.

Education and Certifications

Xxxxxxxx Community College Sanford, FL
Associate of Science Degree – Networking Services Technology; Graduated 08/07
Technical Certificate – E-Business Technology; Graduated 12/06

• Microsoft Certified Systems Administrator (MCSA 2003)
• Microsoft Certified Technology Specialist (MCTS: Windows Vista Configuration)
• Microsoft Certified Professional (MCP)
• CompTIA Network+ certified professional
• CompTIA A+ certified professional

Qualifications

• General Windows Server 2000 and 2003 management. Creating and maintaining user accounts, groups, group policy objects, WSUS 2.0 & 3.0, DNS server, DHCP server, RRAS, managing file and print servers, planning and implementing share and NTFS permissions, base lining and monitoring system performance, and performing backups using NTbackup.exe.
• Windows operating systems: 9x, 2000, XP, and Vista. Light OS X experience, Novell Netware 6.5, Office 2000 – 2007, creation of batch files, and some Visual Basic .Net programming.
• Troubleshoot and resolve break/fix issues using built in TCP/IP utilities such as ping, tracert, ipconfig, arp, netstat, nbtstat, and nslookup.
• Project management experience. Managed and coordinated several projects with a team of 5-6 people.
• Provide application support and end-user training. Used and configured remote utilities such as Remote Desktop, Terminal Services, VNC Viewer, and Microsoft Live Meeting.
• Writing software/hardware test scripts. Experience with communicating with vendors and developers. Work hand in hand with them to test and approve updates, discuss client experience, and overall performance of proprietary applications and hardware.

Professional Experience

Xxxxxxxx Bank 03/07 – Present
Application Support Analyst II 09/07 - Present
Support and implement financial software for commercial business clients. Support of 14 different applications that includes: debugging error messages with Dbgview.exe, writing test scripts to certify drivers/updates, configure and implement applications on a variety of business networks, provide product training, and perform short term project management work. Also, assist in writing technical documentation for help guides and installation procedures.

• Using self troubleshooting methods and logic, was able to isolate, fix, and thoroughly report an unresolved global issue that in turn saved the bank millions of dollars annually.
• Successfully managed a major project that included the recall of a defective hardware product. Coordinated meetings with the vendor and product management to discuss the project timeline and process.

(Contractor through Apex Systems Inc.) Conversion Analyst 03/07 – 09/07
Assisted with the migration of business clients from one application platform to another. Provided technical support for both applications, and remote webinar trainings via Microsoft Live Meeting.

Xxxxxxxxxx Inc. 11/06 – 02/07
IT Support Technician
Desktop and systems support for small and medium sized businesses which included network maintenance in Windows Server environments, network cable drops, email, firewalls, routers, wireless access points, DSL installation, computer hardware installation, wireless mobile devices, network printers, and general computer application support.

• Assisted in a major datacenter migration. Moved and setup collocated client rack servers from one datacenter to another.

Cingular Wireless 03/04 – 11/06
Senior Sales Consultant/ Data SME 04/05 – 11/06
In-store sales and support for Cingular’s data products: Palm PDAs, Windows Mobile PDAs, smartphones, Blackberry, and GSM PCMCIA card installations. Managed store’s monthly data quota, provided sales training and mentoring for all sales consultants, and attended conference calls and training events to maintain the store’s success in data product knowledge and sales.

Data Support Specialist 03/04 – 04/05
Phone support for Cingular Wireless’ data devices and services. Devices included Palm, Blackberry, and Windows Mobile PDAs. Troubleshoot services such as SMS, MMS, Wi-Fi connections, PC air cards, PDA desktop sync and redirector software, and mobile email.

Circuit City 01/04 – 07/04
PC Technician/Computer Sales
Sold and installed various computer hardware such as hard drives, GPUs, processors, RAM, and motherboards. Performed routine maintenance using windows utilities such as disk cleanup, disk defragmenter, and performance monitor. Used Recovery Console and various virus, trojan, and registry cleanup utilities to clean and restore systems.

Ashenwelt

My thoughts.
1. Seperate certs and education. Certs top, education to the rear. I don't like mixing them as they are not the same thing. I don't want any confussion.
2. Way too much detail in my honest oppinion.
3. More sales, less verbose.

Alif_Sadida_Ekin

Ashenwelt wrote: »

My thoughts.
1. Seperate certs and education. Certs top, education to the rear. I don't like mixing them as they are not the same thing. I don't want any confussion.
2. Way too much detail in my honest oppinion.
3. More sales, less verbose.

1. So keep my certs on the top and move my education to the bottom of the resume, after the work history?

2. What's too much detail? The work history? Qualifications?

3. I'm not following this one here.

Thanks

mikedisd2

I think he means that it's not easy enough to read. There is nothing to catch a recruiter's attention.
Use bullet points for your work experience, not paragraphs.
Change your font to something other than Times New Roman, maybe Arial.
Also expand your dates, eg, from 11/06 to November 2006. Much easier to read.
Try to include more buzz words (ISA, Cisco, WSUS etc). Recruiters will figure, if they know you've used certain technologies in past jobs then you can do it again.
You worked at Cingular Wireless for 2 and a half years but you only have a short paragraph. Surely you did more than that?

Alif_Sadida_Ekin

I used paragraphs in my work history to talk about my day to day responsibilities. I did use bullet points in some of my work history to highlight accomplishments. I guess I can try to change the paragraphs to bullet points, but then I won't know how to make the accomplishments stand out. Any ideas?

It's stated that I need to use more buzzwords, but half of what's in my qualifications section is nothing but buzzwords. I really don't have any other experience with anything else besides what's listed. So I'm a little confused as to what other buzzwords I can use.

I'll try different fonts to see if any of them can make my resume stand out better. Garamond is what's currently being used. I'll also see if I can expand more on what I did at Cingular.

Thanks for the feedback so far. Its much appreciated!

Ashenwelt

Alif_Sadida_Ekin wrote: »

1. So keep my certs on the top and move my education to the bottom of the resume, after the work history?

Correct.

2. What's too much detail? The work history? Qualifications?

Yes. Darn near everything. You need to learn to write things so that they are short and sweet. No extra words at all. Just quick and clean... except they have to also sell you.

3. I'm not following this one here.

You are running on and on on the day to day and qualifications. But as I read it... nothing catches my eye. Now a lot of people say use bullets. I personally don't. I do something similar... but a bit more refined. You need to sell yourself, not give a detailed acounting.

Oh, and when you use rare accronyms, put them in parentheses. I will bet you that you will NEVER run into an HR person who knows what WSUS is. So spell it out and and add (WSUS) after it to make it friendly for keyword searches. Yes, before HR... you often have to make a computer happy.

Write like using meta tags.

Thanks

No problem. I hope I helped here.