Vendor presentations

[rant]

So for the last few months I've been meeting with various vendors who want to sell my company gadgets and ice cream. While it's fortunate that I have a budget which makes this possible to begin with, I'm also an extremely busy guy. I have a long laundry list of things to get done that can't be done soon enough. So as many of us are probably familiar, this is how it goes:

- receptionist notifies you that folks from BigVendor are here
- people sit in conference room, exchange business cards
- warm-up small talk: "Yeah, I went on vacation to the CheapHutInTheMiddleOfNowhere last year too!"
- projector connection fumbles
- the slides
- some questions
- some answers, along with, "Let me check with my Engineering team about that one..."
- and finally, "So let's get an evaluation unit shipped to you..."

I'm too busy for fluff, and here's where the presentations and buzzwords start getting on my nerves:

- "Best thing since sliced bread!" I like sliced bread, and it's extremely rare that vendors live up to this. There better be good meat in that sandwich.
- "Here's a slide with a hundred large customer logos who use our products!" I don't care what other people use; I only care if it fits my business needs. By the way, do not mention my company name to anyone else. No one needs to know what we use.
- "Gartner says that we're in the Magic Quadrant..." Really? Like they're the authority on anything? Is that quadrant like near the neutral zone?
- "Here's a copy of the NSS Labs report who top-rated our xyz model!" Virtually every. Single. Vendor. Has one of these. Kind of irrelevant after a while.

I really appreciate it when the sales engineer can own up to shortcomings of the product. Don't advertise it to me as something which will wash my car on the weekends. All technology sucks. Yours will suck in very well its own way. I completely understand that. Admit it and move on. If you try and shy away to a tangent topic, I will return to the original question with additional emphasis and harder, more pointed questions.

Now I understand that this is a sales call. Vendors have to push their stuff. Great. You got quotas to meet and impressions to make and that's how business gets done in the corporate world. But I'm a discriminating, extremely busy, and impatient potential customer. Don't waste my time. I don't like too much fat with my steak. Be realistic with your statements. Get to the point - skip the marketing fluff with obscure definitions and misleading statements. I'm that kind of customer.

[/rant]

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Comments

anobomski

anyone from the other side in here? lets here your take

wd40

I sometimes meet some marketing people, I really like it when they bring an engineer "which knows the product", this makes the meetings much faster.
I start by listing my requirements, the engineer reply, and the meeting is done in less than 15 minutes with presentations or testimonials.

Chivalry1

This is funny I have nearly sat through 100's of these types of presentations. If you don't mind I would like to add my version:

- receptionist notifies you that folks from BigVendor are here
- people sit in conference room, exchange business cards
- warm-up small talk: "Yeah, I went on vacation to the CheapHutInTheMiddleOfNowhere last year too!"
- projector connection fumbles
- the slides
- some questions
- Take us out for a big lunch. "Why yes ....we normally eat a Red Lobster on Wednesday"

- some answers, along with, "Let me check with my Engineering team about that one..."
- and finally, "So let's get an evaluation unit shipped to you..."

Zartanasaurus

Last vendor I met with was from Checkpoint. 2 sales guys and 1 tech guy. Sales guy was kind of awful. After about 10 mins I think the tech guy picked up on the fact that he was doing most of the talking anyway to answer my questions and he pretty much took over the meeting. Went really well from that point on.

docrice

Chivalry1 wrote: »

- Take us out for a big lunch. "Why yes ....we normally eat a Red Lobster on Wednesday"

Oh yes, I forgot about vendor lunches. The amount of consideration a potential customer gives a product is directly proportional to the generosity of the lunch tab. It's not bribery, honest. Unfortunately, I've done quick cheap sandwich lunches occasionally since I my workload was fully-stocked for the day.

Zartanasaurus wrote: »

Last vendor I met with was from Checkpoint. 2 sales guys and 1 tech guy. Sales guy was kind of awful.

Check Point sales folks are terrible in my experience. Support renewals were a nightmare for me every single year. One time I had two different guys give me a call while I was already working with another on a renewal. Completely unsolicited. None of them apparently talk to each other. I get the impression that their sales force are like a bunch of vultures. Given their pricing scheme and bad taste left in my mouth, I've decided I will never again include Check Point as a first-round technology consideration.