I'm battling through a tough decision

Sorry for the rant, but I am ready to throw it out there.

As some of you know I recently moved to another city to give my wife the opportunity to work at a world class hospital. Everything on her end has gone great which is great. My situation is a little bit different. My arrangement with my old/current company is that I would work remote for X amount an hours a week. Wether it be in a project management role or system admin role I was going to be performing these task/roles potentially Well as most of you veterans may well know, the process has been held up for negotiations and other reasons.

I am still receiving a paycheck from my old company while providing project management work for them. Basically helping them create scheduling baselines and doing a lot of cost analysis. Those are basically my two jobs, and then I rewrite the project documentations going through an iterative process. That's basically where I am at now. We do have strategy meetings which I find extremely informative and work on some one off items, but scheduling, cost, and document writing is what I mainly do.

This has only been able to satisfy 10 hours a week of my time. I am not one to slack or milk the clock and so I get in and out at around 10 hours per week. I want to keep this job because I am learning a ton about strategy and even get in on conference calls with C's. It's really a unique situation.

However, I recently took another position full time with core hours 8-5 Monday through Friday. I can flex which I usually do if I have a conference call in the AM or PM with the other company. The job is relatively basic tier 3 support. I train users how to use MS suite and Visio. The job is a contractor job that pays relatively low, but is stress free and quite enjoyable. Recently I have been getting pinged by recruiters from another city about 80 miles away and they are putting me in for business analyst and ERP analyst positions. At first I was flattered and went with it, but now I am getting interviews for all of these jobs. They pay twice as much as the job I have now with software support, however with two children I don't know if it's a wise idea to take on these jobs with a 140 miles commute each day (Round trip). The position is exactly where I want to be and pay is really nice for my standards around ~40 an hour.

With her in nursing there could be scheduling conflicts and other constraints with their sports etc.

This is a tough one on me and I am not sure how I should proceed. The company I work for now here in town is a great one and supposely once you are in even as a contractor you have an excellent chance on getting full time. But still I have 3-4 BA jobs / ERP jobs being dangled in front of me. It's tempting like cat nip to a blue russian. I just don't know, I think I am scared that these opportunities will pass by and I will become nothing. Even with the other possibilities out there.

I am in year 7 of IT and things are starting to happen.

Thanks for your time.

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Comments

andre81

I can tell you from experience, travelling 80 miles to and from work may take a toll on you, your wife, and your kids. For some it is wind up/down time, but after a while it is simply 15 hours unpaid per week, 15 hours that your wife could be seeing you, 15 hours that the kids don't see daddy....you get the idea. I don't know your individual situation, but in my experience my "gut" has never lied. Do what YOU feel is the right thing; no matter how many directions your mind is racing, your soul has a direction, follow it.

erpadmin

To add to what andre said, all I can tell you is that many moons ago, I took a job with a hedge fund that I did for three months in a place that was two states away. The toll my body had after three months showed and I was let go and began unemployment. I had planned to relocate to at least NY so that the commute would be bearable (this job was in CT...Greenwich, to be exact and I was coming from North Jersey) and I thank God I never moved over there. (If I had moved to CT, I would have had to pay property taxes on my car...not cute...)

80 miles away one way is not feasible. People do it, but you're in a place where snow is measured by feet when it snows. I'm not one to say pass up opportunities, but if a job is going to make you ill from commuting (trust me...it will) then that's added stress you don't need.

You're gonna have to figure out how to make that work. Get a real lay of the land and involve your wife in these discussions (no doubt you are). You can always try the commute, but man that's going to be rough in the weeks ahead with that snow.

Good luck with what you decide.

N2IT

erpadmin wrote: »

To add to what andre said, all I can tell you is that many moons ago, I took a job with a hedge fund that I did for three months in a place that was two states away. The toll my body had after three months showed and I was let go and began unemployment. I had planned to relocate to at least NY so that the commute would be bearable (this job was in CT...Greenwich, to be exact and I was coming from North Jersey) and I thank God I never moved over there. (If I had moved to CT, I would have had to pay property taxes on my car...not cute...)

80 miles away one way is not feasible. People do it, but you're in a place where snow is measured by feet when it snows. I'm not one to say pass up opportunities, but if a job is going to make you ill from commuting (trust me...it will) then that's added stress you don't need.

You're gonna have to figure out how to make that work. Get a real lay of the land and involve your wife in these discussions (no doubt you are). You can always try the commute, but man that's going to be rough in the weeks ahead with that snow.

Good luck with what you decide.

I really do appreciate both write ups. I agree about followng your gut it's what I have to do. And ERP you are right I know it, I just needed a little friendly nudge which both of you provided. I realize it's my decision, but learning from others experiences is something I try to do as often as possible.

Again thanks for sharing your experiences. My decision has been made. [See I am glad I posted that on this board

]

joshmadakor

I concur with those two. Especially if your wife is doing well, (which it sounds like she is) keep it low-stress and local please

Psoasman

I would try and stick it out where you are. I did the 130 mile round-trip commute, with $4.80/gallon gas, with a brand-new baby, new job and my wife home alone for 14 hours for 2 months - Never Again.
You have solid skills, so there will always be opportunities for you. Since everything is going great for your wife, make sure they stay that way

sieff

Sounds like its best to stay put and stick to the script. If the other job allowed negotiating remote work or expensing the mileage it "could" work, but a stress free work environment trumps everything.

Who is John Galt?

N2IT

Yep sent the email off to the contracting agencies. Everything is taken care of I will be staying put. Thanks again for all the great input, as usual it was very helpful.

powerfool

I drive 60 miles round-trip and don't enjoy it. You are going to have to decide for yourself, though.

Honestly, though... where do you see yourself going forward? For me, I could see myself working on my own. Having a steady part-time remote gig would be a good base to begin with. If you could see yourself moving down that path, you are already on your way.

N2IT

powerfool wrote: »

I drive 60 miles round-trip and don't enjoy it. You are going to have to decide for yourself, though.

Honestly, though... where do you see yourself going forward? For me, I could see myself working on my own. Having a steady part-time remote gig would be a good base to begin with. If you could see yourself moving down that path, you are already on your way.

PF I would say 3-5 more years from now that will be the plan. My 3 goals that I must accomplish before I attempt this feat however are these 3. [These are just shooting from the hip]

1. A real certification. ITIL Expert, which I am almost there, Six Sigma, or the PMP. One of those 3 I must get.
2. 3 years of strategic experience which I will have 1 year in March.
3. Link up with others who share the same goals but different skillsets. I'll be the first to admit my IT knowledge is no where near yours PF or ERP's or half the members on this board. I have over 10+ years of business experience including [HR, Data Analysis, Asset Management, Operational Management, Project Management, Service Management, and now Cost and Scheduling Management (which circles back into operation and project management)]. *** FYI Not saying I have 10 years of each, but if you combine all of those business functions its greater than 10 years.

If I can get those 3 locked down I should be in pretty good shape. Until then I am going to keep working at the strategy/design level and taking what IT|Business work I can find that meshes into my main goal.

andre81

Glad I could give back to a fellow member.

Bokeh

We're lucky we have had no snow yet. Last year a 22 mile commute after it snowed would take almost 4 hours one way. Glad you made the right decision.

jmritenour

I do a 70 mile one way drive, and most days, I don't mind it. My hour commute is pretty much the only "me" time I get - I put an earbud in and do text to speech on my kindle to get caught up on my tech reading on the way in, and it's a good chance to simmer down and get in a good frame of mind on the way home, so I don't drag my stress home with me.

YMMV.

tpatt100

I have an hour commute and I am used to it "now" but wish I did not have it on the way home lol. Traffic can be clear or I can get stuck for two hours getting home usually happens once a week. In the morning I don't mind I have some podcasts to listen to but in the afternoon I wish I could get home even 30 minutes earlier to help my wife with dinner and handling our two year old.

I am ok with it now but some time in the future I will be wanting something less than 30 minutes from home.

Everyone

Little late to the party here... but I'd say don't give up on new opportunities completely. When they are presented to you, ask if there's a possibility of working from home at all for it. An 80 mile drive is awful if you have to do it every day, but if you can negotiate to only have to make that drive 1 or 2 days a week and work from home the rest of the week, it's not so bad. If someone wants you bad enough, they'll do it.