Dealing with the opposite sex at work

For the people here that work with attractive women, what are some of your TIPS on dealing with it. I've been use to only seeing a bunch of IT guys or working from home. Recently I've been going on site and I notice them and they notice me. It wasn't a big deal until I worked with this one woman now she always sends me emails or is Im'ing me, and her tone is a little to open when we have phone conversations. Keep in mind I just got married last year so I wonder if marriage has anything to do with it.

Find more posts tagged with

Free for TechExams community: Cybersecurity salary guide

Compare cert salaries and plan your next career move

Button

Comments

korbas

Tell her that you only have a precise amount of fuel to get where you need to go...due to her extra weight you'll need to blow her out the airlock. Then make the requisite "PPHHHOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!" noise.

She'll stay away from you then.

kiki162

Ok as a female my first question would be, how does she have your email address and IM handle? I would get the fact that you had a business card with that information on there, but regardless there IS such a thing as blocking people on IM. You may want to think about blocking her e-mail if possible as well, and maybe have someone else deal with her. There's ALWAYS a way around this if it's making you uncomfortable, which it seems to be and I know you want to be nice and professional, but there's a fine line to certain thing in life, and you have to learn how to say no.

There's a guy at my work who has to deal with another female here that's also single. He made the mistake of giving out his cell # along with a few other things. Needless to say they hung out a couple of times, then she started to pursue him. Ending up at certain public spots, texting and calling him all hours of the day, getting harrassing/whiny voicemails, etc..etc... This chick is still a piece of work, but he eventually got a clue and changed his number and starting blocking her emails and so on.

Yes I agree with the rest of the guys on here....doesn't matter if she's married or your married. If a female wants you, she will pursue you..period. Hate to say it...untill you get enough guts to deal with the situation, maybe then she will back off and move on.

Jayjett90

cyberguypr wrote: »

Just give her my number.

LOL that would work to

ThunderPipe

TLeTourneau wrote: »

You mis-quoted post 3, it's "I'm not she's married, but I was reading..." which was a direct reply to post 2 "Never shag a woman you work with.". So they are both married.

I just have to completely disagree. I've had a few encounters with coworkers over the years at various jobs. I always enjoy it. I'm descrete. They are too. We have fun. It makes work more interesting and really, unless there are policies about it, I don't see you getting in trouble.

Turgon

ThunderPipe wrote: »

I just have to completely disagree. I've had a few encounters with coworkers over the years at various jobs. I always enjoy it. I'm descrete. They are too. We have fun. It makes work more interesting and really, unless there are policies about it, I don't see you getting in trouble.

It can lead to all sorts of trouble particularly when word gets out or the relationship becomes vexed. Direct or indirect trouble. But you are correct, be discrete. The issue is, can you expect your 'partner' at work to be discrete when the relationship is good, becomes bad or ends? Either way you have to live your life..

You can avoid all the hassles by simply not getting involved by anyone you work with, that said, many people date people at work these days and last time I checked it isn't against the law, although I believe some companies in the US have contract clauses against this?

UnixGuy

kiki162 wrote: »

...
Yes I agree with the rest of the guys on here....doesn't matter if she's married or your married. If a female wants you, she will pursue you..period. Hate to say it...untill you get enough guts to deal with the situation, maybe then she will back off and move on.

this.

if someone wants to stop a stalker, he/she can, and in case of co-workers/customers, he/she must.

ThunderPipe

Turgon wrote: »

It can lead to all sorts of trouble particularly when word gets out or the relationship becomes vexed. Direct or indirect trouble. But you are correct, be discrete. The issue is, can you expect your 'partner' at work to be discrete when the relationship is good, becomes bad or ends? Either way you have to live your life..

You can avoid all the hassles by simply not getting involved by anyone you work with, that said, many people date people at work these days and last time I checked it isn't against the law, although I believe some companies in the US have contract clauses against this?

Correct. And that's the type of work I've been in. When i was a deployed soldier, contractors weren't allowed to date soldiers. As a contractor, a few of the companies have rules against dating at work. But most don't.

As far as being discrete, I'm particularly honest and up front. It starts with a few talks, emails, IMs, whatever, and before it goes to the next step, I'm very forward with the need to be discrete. From my experience, females are even more discrete because of the way society is. If a guy is banging a bunch of girls, he's a pimp. If a girl is, she's one of a few bad words. So they tend to be more discrete.

I understand the hassles, but working with someone, you can begin to form strong relationships. I think it would suck to work with a woman I was married to. But a GF? Or a friend with benefits? I love it.

Jayjett90

I am learning a lot from this thread LOL. Seriously though

ThunderPipe

PLUS....there's nothing more exciting than sneaking around the office....break rooms....network closets...etc...and having a little fun. I dunno. If anything, the office romances have been some of the most fun "relationships" I've had.

Iristheangel

Totally bumping this old thread because reading through it was hilarious.

To add to this: I violated the "do not date" rule ONCE about 7 years ago when I was 23 years old. It was fun and exciting. Just like ThunderPipe, there were plenty "meetups" around or exciting lunch breaks. It went on for a few months and it didn't end on bad terms, just sad terms. Since we had to sit next to each other and see each other every, it was just a little too emotional and I ended up quitting to avoid having the heartache every day.
Moral of the story: It may start out casual or fun but end either badly or sadly and make work unbearable. I have never dated anyone from work since and likely never will since I learned my lesson

CodeBlox

Lol... I remember this thread! I have yet to do it but... Lets just say - I could probably find plenty of places around here to sneak off to with some sugar bear

There are lots of young ladies where I work (Non-IT) but they are always in need of our services (IT Services). It's bound to happen to me sooner or later working here (Meeting some nice lady).

About7Narwhal

@ CodeBlox

By "Services" I assume you mean technology assistance?

CodeBlox

Yes, of course.

tpatt100

I don't think dating somebody you work with is a good idea because like others have said once you break up "awkward"....

I did date somebody I worked with a long time ago, I run into her all the time though since I married her 11+ years ago and we have a son together lol. Just glad we don't work together anymore, I have heard bad things about that.

Roguetadhg

Sex != Dating.

Zartanasaurus

I think it's great that we're getting sex advice from someone named "ThunderPipe".

shodown

Fast forward a year. I get it worse in my current position than my old one. I often take lots of young women out to lunch some are really cool. Some of them become needy again. Its pretty funny. The life of a consultant

. I guess being good looking does have some negatives.

Roguetadhg

Hah. Zartanasaurus. You made me laugh out loud. Very loud. Good work, Rep earned.

Iristheangel

On the other hand, "Thunderpipe" might be the BEST person to take sex advice from.

paul78

Oddly enough, I have an opposite problem. I only seem to get advances from same-sex customers and when I travel it's the same thing, almost always with the hotel concierge. My wife of 20 years who coincidentally, we started dating when we worked together thinks it's my boyish looks and well-groomed hair. Oh well.

About7Narwhal

@paul78

You aren't the only one. I had always assumed it was the big beard and the bear-ish demeanor.

Xcluziv

I just read this post and it had me rolling....good info though!

UnixGuy

Zartanasaurus wrote: »

I think it's great that we're getting sex advice from someone named "ThunderPipe".

and we're getting it in an IT Internet forum.

tpatt100

At my old job we only had issues with coworkers using over powered decks during our lunch hour Magic the Gathering sessions....

MickQ

Originally Posted by Zartanasaurus

I think it's great that we're getting sex advice from someone named "ThunderPipe".

UnixGuy wrote: »

and we're getting it in an IT Internet forum.

Obligatory:
First comes the lightning...

I'll get my coat.

Roguetadhg

tpatt100 wrote: »

At my old job we only had issues with coworkers using over powered decks during our lunch hour Magic the Gathering sessions....

I'm not sure if I should bathe or play a round of Dual of the Planeswalkers on Steam.

pitviper

This thread is CLASSIC! I’ve been fighting women off since Jr High – should be second nature by the time you are working

Roguetadhg wrote: »

Sex != Dating.

That’s the biggest problem though… It’s not always perceived the same way by BOTH parties!