Need a critique on my cover letter

I was hoping to get some feedback on my cover letter and some advice on how to improve it. Quick backdrop: I have no official IT work history, I have my MCTS cert in Windows 7 configuration. I originally had written in the cover letter that I was working my my MCITP in Server Administration, but I decided to omit that because I didn't think it was relevant, was that a good choice or should I keep that fact in?

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to you because I would like to express my interest in the Technical Support/Help Desk position which you have listed on *. I strongly believe that my current skill set and background make me an excellent candidate for the position.

I have over a decade of experience in working with and troubleshooting Windows XP/Vista/7. I have experience in configuring and troubleshooting networks, resolving DNS, DHCP, and IP configuration issues. I am aware of the numerous tools that Microsoft has integrated in to their operating systems for troubleshooting and ease of use purposes and am capable of deploying these tools for the right task. I am also familiar with Windows Server 2008 R2 and working in an Active Directory environment, I can utilize these tools to configure and administer DNS, and DHCP servers as well as manage Users within a domain.

I have been recognized by my peers and managers in the past for my ability to get desired results in high pressure situations, I pride myself on getting the task at hand done and done correctly.

I have an MCTS certification in Windows 7 configuration which has taught me a great deal in configuring, troubleshooting and administering a Windows 7 environment.

I have listed my contact information on the resume provided and welcome the opportunity to further discuss how I can benefit your organization

Thank you for your time,
Joshawa Speiker
Jrspeiker@gmail.com

Any feedback would be much obliged..thanks in advance!

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NetworkingStudent

bugzy3188 wrote: »

I was hoping to get some feedback on my cover letter and some advice on how to improve it. Quick backdrop: I have no official IT work history, I have my MCTS cert in Windows 7 configuration. I originally had written in the cover letter that I was working my my MCITP in Server Administration, but I decided to omit that because I didn't think it was relevant, was that a good choice or should I keep that fact in?

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to you because I would like to express my interest in the Technical Support/Help Desk position which you have listed on *. I strongly believe that my current skill set and background make me an excellent candidate for the position.

I have over a decade of experience in working with and troubleshooting Windows XP/Vista/7. I have experience in configuring and troubleshooting networks, resolving DNS, DHCP, and IP configuration issues. I am aware of the numerous tools that Microsoft has integrated in to their operating systems for troubleshooting and ease of use purposes and am capable of deploying these tools for the right task. I am also familiar with Windows Server 2008 R2 and working in an Active Directory environment, I can utilize these tools to configure and administer DNS, and DHCP servers as well as manage Users within a domain.

I have been recognized by my peers and managers in the past for my ability to get desired results in high pressure situations, I pride myself on getting the task at hand done and done correctly.

I have an MCTS certification in Windows 7 configuration which has taught me a great deal in configuring, troubleshooting and administering a Windows 7 environment.

I have listed my contact information on the resume provided and welcome the opportunity to further discuss how I can benefit your organization

Thank you for your time,
Joshawa Speiker
Jrspeiker@gmail.com

Any feedback would be much obliged..thanks in advance!

[Your Name]<-this gets bold selection
[Street Address]
[City, ST ZIP Code]

May 10, 2012

[Recipient Name] If you don’t know the company’s name, then it’s Hiring Manger
[Title]

Same with Title Hiring manager if you don’t know the title
[Company Name]
[Street Address]
[City, ST ZIP Code]

Dear Sir or Madam, Don’t use dear sire or madam..instead use- Dear Hiring Manager

I am responding to the Technical Support/Help Desk position which you have listed on *.
As a_______I have been recognized by my peers and managers in the past(What sorta of situations?..can you add some detail to this?) for my ability to get desired results in high pressure situations, I pride myself on getting the task at hand done and done correctly.(Cut this out..Why, because a lot of people pride themselves on getting the task at hand done correctly..) Highlights of my skills include:

Ten years of experience working with and troubleshooting Windows XP, Windows Vista, and Windows 7.

I have an MCTS certification in Windows 7 configuration which has taught me a great deal in configuring, troubleshooting and administering a Windows 7 environment.

Currently, studying for my MCITP in Server Administration certification (do you have a full name for the cert you are stuyding for?)

Understanding of Windows Server 2008 R2 and Active Directory in an enterprise environment.

I have an MCTS certification in Windows 7 configuration which has taught me a great deal in configuring, troubleshooting and administering a Windows 7 environment.

I have listed my contact information on the resume provided and welcome the opportunity to further discuss how I can benefit your organization ……………….(change your closing)

Thank you for your time,
Joshawa Speiker
Jrspeiker@gmail.com

Make each thing you list a bullet point

I didn't edit everything, but I tried to give you some direction... good luck!!!