How to get over the fear of moving on?

kohr-ah · July 2013

How do you get over the fear of moving to another company?

I know that a lot of people are in different situations and hoping someone has the same feelings I am having now.

To summarize recently I evaluated my career and it isn't going the way I wanted it to go. I got moved to our cloud department and I haven't even had a chance to get any experience in it in the past 4 months instead they keep giving me busy work which has nothing to do with this department. So I am considering moving on to go back to a Cisco lifestyle and I know I need to go forward and never look back.

Where I am at now I am not getting the experience I need nor am I making the money I want to take care of my family and I know I have to get the hop to move on.

Every day however I doubt my thought to move on. The company I am at now has good benefits and they keep people til retirement but my family life is greatly suffering which I don't want to happen. I understand there is no such thing as 40 hr weeks in IT in higher positions but I see my daughter if I am lucky an hour a day at the moment.

Any words of advice how to get past this fear? I have the drive as I am studying very hard to get my Cisco skills primed again and hopefully get my CCNP pounded out to benefit myself and my resume but every day that doubt comes back.

Thanks everyone!

Nutsy · July 2013

kohr-ah,

Let me preface any advice with something that I heard awhile back, and I very much agree with. "People have emotional responses, make a decision, and build up logic around it to make themselves sound smart."
If the CEO of the company came to you and said, "I'll change anything for you right now so you are happy at this company." What would that be? Once you know that, is there anything that you can do ethically to get those immediate items?
Next, flash forward to when you are 65 years old. You have your grandchild sitting on your lap and you are bragging about what you accomplished in your life. What would you be bragging about?
Taking those two perspectives, if everything from question one happened would it help you get to the answer to question two? When you answer that, the answer may be that only another year, or couple months, at the company may help you reach your end object.
Now let's move on to the emotional angle. Let's say the answer to question one was that nothing is going to change. How long of staying the course would it be before your anger of the situation trumped everything, and you made a hasty decision b/c you are ticked off? If that is a very short time line, and you can't get anything to change, it's time to move on.
The counter argument of the above paragraph might be that if the position feed to your long term goal you should deal with it and stay. Taking my advice from paragraph one, odds are you aren't a robot, you have emotions, and once anger sets in, you going to move on despite it might not be in your long term best interests.

Moving on to a holistic perspective, some of the most successful people don't make decisions based on the present. They make decisions based on their vision of where they want to go in 5+ years. It will be a moving target. As long as you are moving forward while it moves you will do well.

Hope this helps.

coffeeluvr · July 2013

@Nutsy.....Great thought provoking answer!!!!

kohr-ah · July 2013

Nutsy,

Thank you for your response. It actually does help a lot.

I sat here and analyzed what you presented to me and a lot of answers came to me in the process and also when looking at when I am an old man.

It came to, time for me to go. I looked at my life and I looked at where I want it to be and what it can be and here wont get me there to be the Emporer in my Life and I want my daughter to even look at me and go "WOW!"

Emotional angle I have to say that anger isn't driving this. (Hard to tell that from typing) Ability to make a better engineer and life for myself, my wife, and my daughter is what drives it. The fear behind this is that it isn't only my life it effects but them as well.

On a side note, my friend just submitted this to me a few minutes ago and I think it goes a lot with what you said:

* Don't sell yourself short, decide what you are worth and go and get it.
* Go and get it! No one is going to hand you anything, if you want it, you are going to have to go and get it.
* Fear, do not let this get in the way of making smart choices. Make a good solid decision, and move forward.
* Don't look back...
* Decide if you are running from your current position, or running toward a new opportunity. Think about this prior to any move..
* Don't be afraid to fail
* Don't ever be "too good" to do anything, see the bigger picture in all the small things

So I am looking at this as this way now. Take what I can from where I am at and go out there and find what feels better. My gut will know when I find it. I am going to take the leap and not look back and like you said aim for that target if it moves, then I need to move with it.

emerald_octane · July 2013

I read "The Law of Success in Sixteen Lessons" by Napoleon Hill, specifically the part about the Definite Chief Aim. Once I realized how much time I was wasting on things that didn't really matter, things started to improve greatly.

DevilWAH · July 2013

Success is not measured in the amount of money you have earned, but in the quality of time you have spent.

Never will this be more true when you have a grandchild on you knee and you are reflecting on life!

The first move is hard and there is no way around it, especial if you have a secure job, no matter how stagnant it might feel. No matter if you earn a million or a single pound, jam at the end of my care I want to look back thinking that 99% of the time I woke up looking forward to work, and equaly looked forward to going home to my family in the evening.

If you aren't desperate to leave your current job, then look at the postitions on the market pick one that would intrest you (the next level up not the 5-10 year goal), plan what you need for it and start working to gain the knowledge and experince. And while you are start applying, yes you might get turned down but you will learn why and how you need to improve. Believe me I love my job an my pla is to stay for 2-3 years, but I know the direction I want to go next and even now I keep my eye on the market in case my dream job comes along before then.

Its a nice postitions to be in to be in the postitions to pick where I want to work, rather then left it till the last minute and having to apply for anything available. If you have been preparing for a postitions for a year, you will feel more confident than if you are trying to cram in study to meet a job spec you got a week before the interview.

Its healthy to have concerns you can deliver, it motivates you to learn and insure you do. It's unhealthy to think you can do anything, people who talk like this often are the ones who know the least.

My view is, I know there's lots of things I don't know, but if I work hard and talk to people when I do have issues I will be fine. Despite moving jobs it's the approach I started off when I joined a help desk, and it's the same approach I use when dealing with large corporate companies and £500k + projects. Once apon a time some of the directors of the largest companies had the same feeling you do right now, and to be honest some still do.

i spent 5 years working my way from help-desk to network engineer and a £5k pay rise, scared to make a move. Finally took the plunge, and found the idea of move was a lot more scary than the actual move. 3 years on and another move later I have my own network, a very nice size budget, control of my own projects, and the it consultant to a £250million site redevelopment project for an state of the art science lab. Once complete that will be another thing to tell my grandchildren when I retire. And still another 30years+ of career to go

FloOz · July 2013

Here is a quote that I often read...It really hits home for me and I hope it does the same for you

" Having a rough morning? Place your hand over your heart.. feel that? That's called purpose. You're alive for a reason; Don't give up. "

DevilWAH · July 2013

FloOz wrote: »

Here is a quote that I often read...It really hits home for me and I hope it does the same for you

" Having a rough morning? Place your hand over your heart.. feel that? That's called purpose. You're alive for a reason; Don't give up. "

i feel a icy cold lump like a stone.......

JustFred · July 2013

emerald_octane wrote: »

I read "The Law of Success in Sixteen Lessons" by Napoleon Hill, specifically the part about the Definite Chief Aim. Once I realized how much time I was wasting on things that didn't really matter, things started to improve greatly.

Something I wish i had realized sooner, but you know what it's never too late

kohr-ah · July 2013

DevilWAH wrote: »

Success is not measured in the amount of money you have earned, but in the quality of time you have spent.
The first move is hard and there is no way around it, especial if you have a secure job, no matter how stagnant it might feel. No matter if you earn a million or a single pound, jam at the end of my care I want to look back thinking that 99% of the time I woke up looking forward to work, and equaly looked forward to going home to my family in the evening.

If you aren't desperate to leave your current job, then look at the postitions on the market pick one that would intrest you (the next level up not the 5-10 year goal), plan what you need for it and start working to gain the knowledge and experince. And while you are start applying, yes you might get turned down but you will learn why and how you need to improve. Believe me I love my job an my pla is to stay for 2-3 years, but I know the direction I want to go next and even now I keep my eye on the market in case my dream job comes along before then.

This hits home. I can't thank everyone enough for their advice.

I am just looking to the quality of work and luckily I am in no hurry so I can take my time to look and get as much out of this in the process. My job isn't a terrible job. I am just not growing how I want and I no longer enjoy it because of that.

I am reminding myself my family doesn't care where I work. They just care that I am happy and this is just a job. It is just business.

How to get over the fear of moving on?

Comments