Resume troubles!

Fellow technophiles:

I'm having a hard time with staffing agencies. I've spoken to the third one this week that told me to revise me resume ("Make it more apparent that you worked with end-users," they said). I've often trolled these forums and have incorporated a lot of resume advice that others have been offered. I thought now would be a good time to put my own on the chopping block and see what constructive criticism I can get. I've put in for around twenty desktop and network positions during the past month, but I've only got one interview out of it all. At this point, I'm not sure if it's a lack of experience, education, or a the presentation of myself holding me back.

Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Dseay TE resume.pdf

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Comments

ptilsen

Too long, too much text, and your writing style is the antithesis of what a resume should be. You have extended, personalized descriptions of what you did. This isn't your memoirs. It isn't even a cover letter. It's a snapshot of your career. Each job description should be a collection of fragments (not sentences) briefly describing noteworthy accomplishment, projects, and duties. There should be no parentheticals, no pronouns, no asides, no random background details. The person who advised that you "make it more apparent that you worked with end-users" didn't read more than maybe 2-3% of your resume (since it's almost entirely user support), and most recruiters and hiring managers won't when it's this long.

There's a good amount of redundant or irrelevant data. "At CFGroup" is redundant, for example. This entire paragraph is totally irrelevant: [/quote]I worked at a local community college as a student tutor for almost two full years (while I attended school there
myself). Sometimes students would show up as walk-ins to have a paper proofread or a math problem doublechecked.
Many of my students, however, were routine and[/quote]

As an example of style deficiencies, take this paragraph:

After working with the data migration nightshift team, the Unisys project lead asked me to serve as
helpdesk support during the day shift. In doing so, I was given a greater scope of responsibility and, in turn,
answered directly on a day-to-day basis to the overall project manager.

A rewrite might look like this:

Promoted to helpdesk support and given project reporting responsibilities after proven excellence

On that specific experience item, though, that is a lot of text. Three months of work just doesn't justify six bullet points and what looks to be 10-12 sentences. I have less for a job I worked from 2006 to 2008. I probably wouldn't list small project contract jobs that overlapped my day job, either.

Your technical skills section should possibly be removed entirely. Relevant skills should be displayed in your experience, "professional profile," and certifications (to an extent). If you do keep it, you really need to more carefully consider what you list. I mean, copper cabling and Linksys WAPs?

Your content overall is not bad, per se. I don't see many technical mistakes, which is a nice change of pace, but there's a lot of work to do here. When all is said and done, there are still some questions you'll need to be prepared for. you don't need to answer them here, you just need to be prepared for them.

I see you have job gaps from April to September 2007, December 2005 to March 2006, and August 2011 to August 2012. What caused these gaps?
Why haven't you held an IT position since 2011?
Why didn't you do technical work from 2007 to 2009?
Why did you major in history and minor in finance after starting a career in IT?
How does your work as a graduate assistant relate to this position?
Why is there an overlap between your IBM and Unisys entries?
Why did you leave CFGroup?

DCD

I agree with ptilsen said. Like this line itsounds strange "I have served in behind-the-scenes positions and on the frontlinesof the helpdesk" You need to re-word it and give a better detail of what you did.

I would move your certifications above technical skills and reverse the orderof the certifications.

MicrosoftCertified Systems Administrator, Server 2003 (MCSA)
MicrosoftCertified Professional, Windows XP (MCP)
Cisco Certified Network Associate (CCNA)
CompTIA A+
CompTIA Network+,
RBT Copper-Based Cabling

If you keep the Technical Skill part put the software section first if you are looking for a desktop position. Also remove the Network router and switches from the Network section you have LAN, WAN and WI-FI setup below it which says the same thing then over in hardware section you have Cisco switches and routers.

And your spacing looks off on your document as well.

NetworkVeteran

I'm going to agree that my initial impression is too much text.

Resume Professional Profile wrote:

Cisco, CompTIA, and Microsoft certified with more than four years combined
experience in information technology. Multi-faceted technical skills and experience, including router and switch
configuration, hardware setup and maintenance, Windows desktop support (remote and on-site), and network
cabling maintenance, deployment, and termination. I have served in behind-the-scenes positions and on the
frontlines of the helpdesk, dealing directly with end users, supervisors, and project managers. A polite, amenable
personality and a love for tinkering and problem solving enable me to approach a variety of roles with the
necessary professional attitude and commitment to doing the job well."

I got as far as, "Cisco, CompTIA, and Microsoft certified with more than four years..." The average recruiter/HR who reads your resume will spend less than 10 seconds. I like a summary, but aim for 2-3 lines that highlight your strengths.

Resume Technical Skills wrote:

TECHNICAL SKILLS

This is just a list of keywords. When an employer reads you have "skill" with "Network routers and switches", they have no idea what work experience you have, whether you have certifications, or how deeply you know it. This is appropriate for someone with no experience, but if you have on-the-job experience, work these keywords into the experience section of your resume and eliminate this section. If you don't have experience with these yet, keeping this section makes sense, but put supported claims of skill like education/certifications/experience higher than this section.

Resume Education wrote:

Education

The certification section looks good overall, but I'd look for ways to compress them (e.g., do you need to list A+ and Network+ on separate lines?!) . The education section needs a revamp. I'm sure you can convey your type of degree, major, GPA, school, and graduate date of your B.S. degree in three lines. A fourth for any coursework related to IT you've completed makes sense since you have a history degree. Now that you have a B.S., your A.S. or high school is not so important.

Resume Experience wrote:

"As a graduate assistant, my function was to be the middleman between the students and the professor. More often than not, students came directly to me with questions and in search of help relating to the course."

Imaging someone hiring you to monitor their network, or whatever your ideal next job is. Ask yourself, why on Earth would they care about this? Most of this statement would be completely irrelevant. "Led study sessions, answered questions, and graded papers" covers all your graduate assistant tasks including the above in fewer words. if you want to elaborate on something, do so when it applies to how you will perform at your next job. The one silver lining I can see in this job is you're presumably comfortable in front of people and have good explanatory skills. That you can sell.