Resume Critique and advice needed

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  cyberguypr Mod Posts: 6,928 Mod

  March 2014

  - Get rid of the references
  - It doesn't make any sense at all that you have a gazillion things and then the work experience is minuscule. Redo the whole work experience. Show what you've done. Show key accomplishments.
  - The bullet fest drives me crazy. The purpose of a bullet is to create emphasis. By emphasizing everything you create the opposite effect.
  - What exactly does "2 years of experience with Linux Operating System" mean? You could've been doing ls and top commands for 2 years. Scarcity of words here will hurt you. You need to be very specific. This is how you differentiate yourself from thousand of tech out there
  - "Some experience with Active Directory" again, this to me sounds like "I've played with it but don't know". If you did password resets and OU moves, etc. just say that
  - typo: "Fireall"
  - Volunteered services to disabled and low income" - could be better worded
  - "Designed silent computer" ????

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  stryder144 Member Posts: 1,684 ■■■■■■■■□□

  March 2014

  Here are a few suggestions, bearing in mind that I am not a hiring manager nor an expert:
  
  1. I would suggest getting rid of the publications section, . Place your blog url in the footer, or, better yet, purchase a domain and point it to the blog. I recently bought a domain, through 1and1, and pointed it to the blog I'm starting. It will be more memorable and "professional" that way.
  
  2. You mention in Qualifications that you have 4 IT certs, then you list them later. I think that is a bit redundant.
  
  3. I would integrate the volunteer and work experience sections, then replace work with IT or something similar.
  
  4. Over 20+ IT credentials: over and + indicate the same thing, so it might be seen as redundant. Also, be careful with listing that many certs, as it may lead to a discussion with a hiring manager/technical assistant about what they are. That, in turn, could lead to some very uncomfortable questions that might touch on subjects that you might not have brushed up on. Just be cautious with that line.
  
  5. I would suggest dropping the +'s entirely. It doesn't really add much to the resume and can be considered distracting.
  
  6. As mentioned by cyberguypr, you need to specify what you've done, so putting just the word experience down won't catch the eye of the HM, though being very specific can, indeed make a difference.
  
  7. I have had several recruiters (for what it may be worth) who say to combine the Education and Certification headings, as they are related. The thought process is that you lose approximately two lines of space that could be filled with other, more pertinent, data.
  
  I hope this helps. Keep us posted.
  
  Cheers

  The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position. ~ Leo Buscaglia
  
  Connect With Me || My Blog Site || Follow Me

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  techwizard Member Posts: 162 ■■■□□□□□□□

  March 2014

  @cyberguypr: I actually have a much different resume I normally hand out. This resume I posted is the one that a local unemployment office (technically I am not unemployed, I am self-employed) I was told to attend a Resume workshop and then a 3 day intensive interview boot camp workshop. The resume is the result of their "experts" going over the resume I already have been using which actually looks much different than the one I posted here. I posted this because I wanted to see what other's opinions of the resume were. The local unemployment office/service is such a joke. For example, when I attended the resume workshop, in one of the material handouts for tips and how to's on how to write a resume, on the third page into the "resume manual" it specifically says under a heading of "what to avoid in your resume", and one of the line items specifically says "References or the statement "references are available upon request". List them on a separate sheet and offer them at the interview.
  
  what is interesting about this is, (the resume workshop was one day, the interview workshop was a 3 day intensive training workshop), on the last day, my instructor handed me back my resume (the one I normally use) and it had a ton of markings, comments, scribbled notes on it. On the bottom of the second page it said "Include professional references, list 3". I was shocked, confused and disappointed in the vast inconsistencies between what we were told to do in the resume workshop and what the feedback was given back to us on the resumes. The instructor that lead the resume workshop claimed that she had a "co-worker" who is an "expert" on resume writing do the feedback on the resumes made the notations on the resume. In fact everything you see in my original post is the result of the "expert's" opinion on what changes I should make to my resume. I am in agreement with you, in almost everything you mentioned in your post about it. The "expert's" notations and suggested changes made almost no sense to me. I spent a total of 10 hours at 4 "workshops" that were supposed to improve my resume and interview skills. Granted there were some good ideas and it wasnt a total waste, but I still feel like I want 10 hours of my life back, it sucked so bad. I plan on reporting the whole experience to my Vocational Counselor at my local department of rehabilitation, and let him know how poor the whole experience was.
  
  @stryder144: I just want to basically re iterate what I already said to cyberguypr, but that I also agree with you.
  
  With that being said, I went looking around for a better template and found something that hopefully works. Here is my newer revised version of my resume. I should probably show you what it looked like before I even went to the bogus resume and interview workshops.
  
  Anyways, here it is:
  
  

  [FONT=&amp]Tech Wizard[/FONT]

  [FONT=&amp]14 Hart Way [/FONT]l[FONT=&amp] Sometown, MA [/FONT]l[FONT=&amp] (555) 555-5555 [/FONT]l[FONT=&amp] Techwizard@somedomain.com[/FONT]

  
  
  

  [FONT=&amp]Over nine years of direct IT technician field experience with a detailed knowledge of physical/IT tools, technologies and best practices. Valuable experience in private sector operations with both administrative and technical expertise. Proven history of applying innovative approaches to accomplish goals with efficiency and accuracy. Proficiency in the creation, application and deployment of solutions securing networks, systems and information assets for clients.[/FONT]

  
  
  
  
  

  • [FONT=&amp]Self-taught student funded by local state run service, offering a strong academic background in IT combined with extensive 10 years of experience as an IT technician as a small business owner of a mobile computer repair service. [/FONT]
  • Consistently recognized for technical troubleshooting skills[FONT=&amp] used to rapidly and cost-effectively resolve challenging technical issues.[/FONT]
  • Quick to learn and master new technology; equally successful in both team and self-directed settings; and p[FONT=&amp]roficient in a range of computer systems, languages, tools and testing methodologies. [/FONT]

  
  
  
  

  [FONT=&amp]Education[/FONT]

  
  
  
  
  
  [FONT=&amp]Some State University attended[/FONT]
  [FONT=&amp]Some State University attended[/FONT]
  [FONT=&amp]College of County 60 units completed[/FONT]
  [FONT=&amp]Some High School name – Graduated [/FONT]
  
  
  
  
  

  [FONT=&amp]Technology Summary[/FONT]

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [FONT=&amp]Certifications:[/FONT]
  [FONT=&amp]CompTIA A+, Network+, Security+ and Healthcare IT, Lexmark Printer Certified, QuickBooks Certified.[/FONT]
  
  
  
  
  
  [FONT=&amp]Systems:[/FONT]
  [FONT=&amp]Windows 9X/NT/2000/XP/2K3/XP/Vista/8 and 9,Windows server 2012, Mac OS[/FONT]
  
  
  
  
  
  [FONT=&amp]Languages:[/FONT]
  [FONT=&amp]SQL, HTML, PHP[/FONT]
  
  
  
  
  
  [FONT=&amp]Software:[/FONT]
  [FONT=&amp]MS Office, Adobe Photoshop, Intuit QuickBooks, Firewall and Access control list configuration.[/FONT]
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  [FONT=&amp]IT Experience[/FONT]

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  [FONT=&amp]ABC COMPANY, Sometown, CA[/FONT]
  

  [FONT=&amp]Owner/IT Technician/Network Support Technician[/FONT][FONT=&amp],[/FONT][FONT=&amp] 2005 to present[/FONT]

  
  
  
  [FONT=&amp]Repair computers, custom builds, build and maintain small networks, remove viruses, install software. Troubleshoot software and hardware issues. On call mobile service, IT consulting and advice. [/FONT]
  
  Selected Contributions:
  
  

  • Designed “silent” computer for a client who is hypersensitive to sound. Selected components with minimized moving parts and installed computer components into a small chassis which was modified and lined with sound damping material similar to material used for car stereo installation.
  • Volunteered IT expertise to local Charter School, Helped networking, data retrieval, maintenance, pc cleaning, helped with students using new educational programs.
  • Volunteer member of Patient Advisory Group at Some County Open Door Clinic, Sometown, Sometown, and Sometown.

  
  
  
  
  
  Ok, the formatting is really messed up with this one, and doesnt look anything like it is really supposed to, but hopefully gives you a general ideal. let me know what you think.

  "Never give up" ~ Winston Churchill

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  JaneDoe Member Posts: 171

  March 2014

  Plus 26 years customer service experience makes you look too old. Make that 10+ years. People shouldn't discriminate like that but they do.

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  techwizard Member Posts: 162 ■■■□□□□□□□

  March 2014

  ok, I have made changes to my resume, I am hoping this one is better. let me know what you think.

  does this resume suck still 2.doc 32.5K

  "Never give up" ~ Winston Churchill

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  techwizard Member Posts: 162 ■■■□□□□□□□

  March 2014

  bump, feedback please, anyone?

  "Never give up" ~ Winston Churchill

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  techwizard Member Posts: 162 ■■■□□□□□□□

  March 2014

  I found some errors on that resume I posted in post#6. edited, and re upped.

  resume re edited fixed errors found 1.doc 39.5K

  "Never give up" ~ Winston Churchill

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  Xyro Member Posts: 623

  March 2014

  1. The top is good.
  2. The summary of qualifications is too wordy.
  3. The academic education section & certifications area appear related therefore visually confusing. I would especially seperate the academic education section into its own area listing degrees obtained and dates attended.
  4. The technical proficiencies section appears disorganized because of the alignment. I would use left align to correct.
  5. Relevant work experience, relevant accomplishments, current work history <-- these all appear difficult to dissect. I would put all work history into its own section and find a way to move the accomplishments in there also under each applicable position.
  6. Alignment error in the Independent IT Contractor, Field Solutions section.
  
  Keep in mind that someone will be giving this a fast glance to quickly find out about you from your resume. It's best not to make it a challenge for the person trying to do this. It can lead to disregarding the entire resume and going on to the next.

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  cyberguypr Mod Posts: 6,928 Mod

  March 2014

  To me this resume still screams amateur and here is why:
  
  - Format is weird. Example: ACADEMIC EDUCATION and CERTIFICATIONS sections are physically worlds apart. They seem too disconnected
  - As mentioned by Xyro, alignment is off in many places. It seems you are aligning uses spaces which is a big mistake. You'll want to use tables for flawless aligment
  - Why do you keep mentioning high school? This baffles me
  - Not including months in the employment dates is a big red flag for me
  
  My biggest issue with this resume is that it doesn't tell a story. There's a big disconnect between all the parts and there's just no cohesion. You say that you have "proven history of applying innovative approaches " but you are not selling this here. If you claim something like this you have to provide clear, yet concise examples. Then there's "proficiency in the creation, application and deployment of solutions securing networks" yet the work history and accomplishments do not expand on this. It almost looks like someone wrote the Summary of Qualifications and another person wrote the rest.
  
  For example, if my summary says:

  Experienced Help Desk leader with more than 10 years experience in support center operations. Excellent communication and diagnostic skills, reputation for productivity, decisiveness, innovation, complex problem resolution and professionalism. Progressive experience optimizing IT department services blah blah blah...

  
  What do you think matches that? This:

  Managed technicians and ran Help Desk. Fixed computers. Installed Microsoft software.
  

  
  or this:

  Responsible for leading a Help Desk of 4 technicians supporting 500 employees in 3 locations. Acted as final escalation point for all Tier II issues involving hardware and software. Managed schedules, blah blah blah...
  
  Key accomplishments include:
  - Implemented new ticket management and asset tracking system which resulted in 95% first call resolution of incoming tickets
  - Proactively identified potential areas for system improvements, resulting in improved server uptime of 99.8% for the last 18 months

  
  You must quantify your achievements. As a hiring manager need to see how you rock and how your contributions will benefit my company. You must convince me, via the resume, that you deserve an interview because you will help me fill my needs and solve my problems.

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  techwizard Member Posts: 162 ■■■□□□□□□□

  March 2014

  ok, I went with a different template provided by Microsoft word, and came up with this one, and attempted to make adjustments to it with the advice given by the above poster.

  lets try this one1.doc 67K

  "Never give up" ~ Winston Churchill

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  techwizard Member Posts: 162 ■■■□□□□□□□

  March 2014

  cyberguypr wrote: »

  To me this resume still screams amateur and here is why:
  /snip

  
  Ok, I am going to explain as best I can my situation and maybe you can tell me what I should do.
  
  I am 44 years old. I was born in New York and moved out to California with my mother when I was 3. I was born profoundly deaf. I dont hear anything out of my left ear, and can hear some out my right ear, but with the help of a hearing aid I can hear maybe up to about 60% efficiency. If you met me you probably wouldn't even know I am deaf, because I don't talk like a deaf person.
  
  I graduated high school in 1987. I can see where I should leave that off, it dates me.
  
  I went to a community college to study psychology, but did not graduate. I went to a state university for a short time, and did not graduate. I then worked for a fast food restaurant from 1990 until around 1996. I managed that restaurant for most of that time as well. I quit the job to pursue other options.
  
  I moved to another part of the state, in 1997. I started my own business in 2000, an online retail business on ebay, when ebay was kind of starting out. By the time 2005 rolled around, ebay was flooded with people, and the business just wasnt enough to make a living.
  
  2005 I started another small business, a mobile computer repair service. It worked out ok for a few years, until things started slowing down again, and making a living as a mobile computer repair service in my geographic area is just not working out as planned. I have to find a job with secure, stable income, and not be self-employed anymore.
  
  I have not worked for anyone else since 1997. I have been self employed pretty much ever since. This has led to other challenges, such as I cannot collect unemployment, or receive other benefits because of this.
  
  I have always been working on computers my entire life. When I was 8 years old, I was exposed to my first computer, the TRS-80. I remember the 5 inch floppy disks. I remember the cassette tapes you plugged in to transfer data. I re created the game "pong" with BASIC programming, it ended up being something like 4 or 5 thousand lines of code. I have always had a passion for computers and technology. I remember messing around on the commodore 64, and apple I and II and IIe, at the high school computer labs when I was still in middle school. Around 1997 I bought my first brown biege box and that is when I started really tinkering around with hardware and software. I was constantly upgrading my computer and installing new ram or a new hard drive and wiping and re installing windows, because it was "fun". I have a lot of experience installing and configuring Windows operating system, all the way back to windows 98.
  
  ok, let me fast foward here a bit, and try to cut to the chase. My challenge here mainly is the fact that I have been self employed for the past 14 years. I started two small businesses, one in the year 2000, specifically Jan 1, 2000. I then dissolved that business in 2005. Specifically Jan 1, 2005. I have been running the mobile computer repair business since Jan 1, 2005 to present. So, you think I should simply add the "Jan 1, 2005-present" as the dates of employment? The other issue is, with my contract work, the dates vary, but I have technically been employed by the contract company since October of 2013. So, you think I should say "Independent IT contractor Field Solutions, October 15, 2013-present"?
  
  I have filled out over 120 applications since April 2013, because I am trying very, very hard to find a job so I dont have to do the self-employed thing anymore. Of those 120 applications, I have done over 20 interviews, and have had 5 or 6 phone interviews. Of those interviews, I have come very, very close to getting a job several times. Once for a bank help desk job, and a couple times for a school Tech position. All of those times I sat in front of a 5 or more person interview panel. All of those times I was called back for a second interview, with a higher up or superintendent of the school. I lost the bank job to someone else, they specifically told me if only I had my A+ certification I would have had the job. Two weeks too late, I got my A+ cert. That was in August of 2013. I am going on my 11th month of job seeking. It is very frustrating and discouraging.
  
  I have experience with building small networks for mostly small home offices. I have installed Windows server 2012 on a virtual machine to learn it. I have been doing that for the past year or so. I have plenty of experience with all the basic stuff: install, configure, windows. Install, configure a small home office network. remove viruses, malware, spyware. configure firewalls, and access control lists.
  
  If I could do it all over again, I would have gone to school to get my computer science degree, and then get my Microsoft credentials back in 2000. I dont have an excuse on why I didn't do it, I just didn't. I am now having to play "catch up".
  
  Here is the other thing, I was sent by my Vocational Counselor to a resume and interview workshop, which probably is probably what is really throwing off my "chi", in this whole deal. My experience with them was horrible. For example, the teacher who lead the resume class also led the interview skills workshop/class. The resume workshop was a pre requisite for the interview skills workshop. In the resume workshop she gave us a handout/handbook on how to write a resume. I gave them my typical resume, for critique, advice, etc. She handed the resume back to me and claimed that a "professional resume" writer took a look at it and there were comments, changes, and recommendations on it. When I got it back, it basically looked like a failed term paper, with a bunch of writing on it. One of the suggestions this "professional resume writer" made was to add "professional references, list 3" on the resume. I was like hey, wait a minute. I pulled out the resume handout/handbook and looked on page 4, under the heading of "what to avoid on your resume" number 8 on that list it says "references or the statement: "references are available upon request". list them on a separate sheet and offer them at the interview.
  
  I was shocked, confused and really disappointed at the inconsistencies of what they were trying to teach at the workshop. The workshop was at an unemployment office called the Job Market, its basically a place where people can go to get help or advice or services to help find a job. I even googled whether or not references should be included on the resume, and google said no, they should always be on a separate sheet of paper. Every time I apply I always give them the following: A cover letter, a resume, the application, a copy of my certificates, a references sheet which has 3 professional references and 3 personal references, listed on the same page, using the same type of header as used on the resume, then finally I include 3 letter of recommendation. That is typically what I turn in every time.
  
  Sorry for the rant, but I have been working really hard at this, and the whole thing has been very frustrating.
  
  here is the resume I used when I almost got the job at the school site technician, just so you can see what format I used and did get called back on, and was told I was one of two candidates for the second interview.
  
  So, now you know a little bit about me. What do you suggest I do?

  techwizards school tech resume1.doc 29K

  "Never give up" ~ Winston Churchill

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  Xyro Member Posts: 623

  March 2014

  Yes, definitely leave HS off as it will "date" you. I would not include any of the college work either since apparently none of it led to a degree. This may lead to a judgement that you do not wish to suffer. I would begin the work history at the business started in 2005. I would then list the contract work individually making a note of each position being contract to explain the short periods of time each position covered.
  
  Additionally, I would be certain to place the certifications before the job experience. I would also place A+, Network+, and Security+ first (in that order) amongst the certifications.
  
  I also reinforce what cyberguypr said about providing consice examples of your claimed experience.

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  techwizard Member Posts: 162 ■■■□□□□□□□

  March 2014

  I get what you are all saying. The issue I am having is, I have only the self employment small business, a mobile computer repair service, that I own and operated since 2005. Its not like I worked for bla bla company for bla years and supervised bla number of employees and managed a bla bla tier 1/2/3 ticketing system, bla bla. I don't have that to say on the resume. I have many years of experience, just not in the right setting. What I mean by that is, I dont have much experience working in a corporate setting. I cant say I worked for bla bla Fortune 500 company and did this and that and accomplished this and that and improved this and that. I just don't have that story to tell. I do have plenty of stories of customers that call me and have computer issues or want me to setup their internet connection (modem, router, small home office network) I have gone to the strangest places, where for example, I would have to climb over a piles of crap and garbage, because some of the customers I have worked for are hoarders, and they have put their routers and equipment in some of the strangest places, and a lot of the wiring, equipment was just not very accessible. I have another customer who smoked excessively next to her computer and she would call me all the time, for whatever computer issues she would be having. She would give me her tower, so I could take it back to my small shop and work on it. When I opened it up, it just looked nasty, everything in it was covered in a layer of nicotine. The fans, components, hard drives, ram, everything. It took me over 2 hours just to clean the computer. I have written a tech blog on why people shouldn't smoke next to their computers.
  
  so over 9 years I have done the following:
  
  - Upgrade, maintain, computers, laptops
  - Build computers to customers specs, I do about 5 or 6 complete builds a year, over the past 9 years.
  - Setup small home/office computers. Up to 8 to 10 hosts/client computers.
  - I have bought a couple of pre built servers and configured them for small business clients.
  - I have fixed several Iphone screens, which btw are a pain to fix.
  - I have repaired and replaced several laptop screens and keyboards.
  - Installed and configured Windows XP, Vista, 7/8. I have probably done over 200 windows installs, and configs, over the past 9 years.
  - Retrieved lost data. Created backup systems for clients. Probably do about 4 data recovery projects a year. So I have probably done that about 30 times, over the past 9 years.
  - Removed malware, viruses, and spyware.
  - I am a sub contractor for several banks in the local area. I have replaced a motherboard at one bank, replaced a hard drive at another bank. Fixed a couple printers at a banks administrative office. Easiest 80 bucks I ever made in 20 minutes, to fix both printers. I was paid 40 dollars per printer. All I needed to do was unplug the Ethernet cable, turn off the printer for about a minute, and turn it back in and plug the Ethernet cable back in, and bam, printer was fixed. The order on the ticket said "printer not printing to bla bla printer from bla bla office".
  
  Basically, I have lot of that kind of experience.
  
  I don't have experience working for a company administrating a network or anything like that, but I am willing to learn. I feel pretty confident that I could setup a small network from scratch, build a server, setup a small 10-50 client network, and make that work. I have done it, by using virtual box, and I have been playing around with learning how to do that on my own, but I haven't actually done this for a company, yet. I want to learn. I guess I have to start somewhere.

  "Never give up" ~ Winston Churchill

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