Dream come true, bad timing... Help!

Really in need of some guidance here...

To give some back-story, I've always had that "astronaut/president" childhood dream of becoming an FBI Special Agent. However, several years ago I really began to take it seriously and align my education and career goals with becoming most competitive for this role. I had applied, extended an invitation to take initial testing, passed, met w/ the FBI in my local area, and then... the hiring freezes happened. Everything dropped off my radar and I went on to get this AMAZING job that I have now.

And that's the thing... I have the best job, co-workers, environment, pay, benefits, etc that I've ever had. Every day at work is a day that I am appreciative and happy. So, what happens... I just receive an e-mail stating FBI HQ in Washington DC has selected me to proceed to the final stage of testing. Yikes.

Here's the bigger issues:

* I'm new at my job. I don't have vacation yet and would hate to jeopardize something so great that I already have for something that's not guaranteed -- out of something like 80,000 applications a year, only 200-400 or so get hired on.
* Finances: I just purchased a home and racked up some pretty heavy debts furnishing and fixing. I'm on a great track to pay things off now, but this would seriously shake things up.
* Family: My wife has an amazing job that she loves. She probably won't find an equivalent if we move. I'd hate to uproot her to move to an uncertain location (likely a much higher CoL area)
* More Finances: It'd undoubtedly be a major paycut. I'd realistically be looking at 69K max in NYC... I'm afraid I would not be able to pay my bills w/ this kind of a cut and my wife leaving her job.

So... What would you do? A lifetime dream becomes a potential reality and it is totally the wrong time for you. Do you still go for it -- knowing that you may negatively impact your current position? Do you ask to postpone the process while you better prepare yourself? Keep in mind, w/ so much competition, you're pretty much throwing away the opportunity by asking this...

I think my plan at this point is to attend final testing. I'll figure out a way to get the time away -- I'll need two days off. If I pass, great. At that point, I will ask to deactivate my application until I can get myself to a stage where my family is ready for this... Perhaps this ruins my chances... By ultimately, I'm still in a great position and I know I made it this far w/ my dream.

Any thoughts?

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Comments

networker050184

It is a tough decision and I think the negatives you listed would be more than enough to keep me away personally. I would probably find a way to get to the testing and at least see if you are selected. Then you can make a more informed decision rather than speculating.

5ekurity

I think it depends on how you measure success. Do you need to be an FBI SA to consider yourself a success? Based on everything you've said, you are happy and successful now.

All of the pieces have come together and things are going great, whereas making this move seems to uproot everything and disrupt all the good things that both you and your wife have worked at towards achieving. IMO, great careers for myself and wife + financial stability would outweigh a personal dream to become an FBI SA.

scaredoftests

Stay at your present job.

Hammer80

Sometimes life throws you a curveball and you have to adapt, very few people achieve their dreams due to the fact that you need to be in a perfect situation to achieve them and few people get this opportunity. You love your job, your wife loves her job. Once you marry its not only about you, sometimes you have to adjust your ambitions and dreams to better align with the person that you married so both of you can be happy and it appears that you have achieved that.

If you absolutely no matter what want to work for FBI, then here is how you can sell your wife on it. Just tell her how incredible having FBI on your resume will look like. I have a friend who's wife was a FBI Agent for 5 years, she is now running IT Security for large Fortune 500 company making high six figures. Having FBI or CIA on your resume gives you instant credibility, because if they can trust you then why would the company not trust you.

Side Note: I was always interested in Medicine and that was my dream, I had to give up on that dream due to having severe allergies to multiple classes of antibiotics that are very commonly used. You can't really expose yourself to all that crap without ability to be treated for it. Sometimes that's just life and you have to make the best of it.

kohr-ah

RHEL wrote: »

I went on to get this AMAZING job that I have now.

* Family: My wife has an amazing job that she loves.

I think these two statements alone answered your question. Stay where you are at.

iBrokeIT

There is no reason you have to give up on that dream of being a FBI Agent but I think it is poor timing right now.

Maybe when/if your wife loses her job, no longer likes it or is ready to move on and your house is paid off then you could explore it further.

Why did you buy and invest heavily in house if you knew the FBI was going to be taking you away from your current location? Did you not realize this would be an issue when the FBI came off of the hiring freeze and contacted you?

You are both happy with your careers in addition to being financially stable and successful. Why ruin a good thing for both of you right now for a chance at possibly greener pastures for just you? If circumstances change then certainly reevaluate but I think you shouldn't move forward with it right now.

I wish you the best of luck in what ever you and your wife decide is the best for both you!

RHEL

Thank you all, this has been really excellent advice. The fact that everyone pretty much agrees that right now is not the best time considering what I have to lose really helps me and puts things into perspective. I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me sad to put it off though...

iBrokeIT wrote: »

Why did you buy and invest heavily in house if you knew the FBI was going to be taking you away from your current location? Did you not realize this would be an issue when the FBI came off of the hiring freeze and contacted you?

That's the thing with a position like this -- it takes a *very* long time to complete the process (years) and the chances of actually being selected are so low that it would not make sense to shape your life around that possibility. Being selected to this phase of the process literally meant being nominated by the local field office, being rated a "most competitive" amongst extremely impressive applicants, and then being given the nod from headquarters.

The other thing is that when I applied (years ago), my wife was still in school and did not know she'd end up with this amazing opportunity. I didn't know I'd land in this great position with my current job. I think the initial plan was that we would move away from the area eventually... Life happened

JoJoCal19

Sometimes you have to sacrifice your dreams. And in this day and age if you both have a great job and have a good amount of income, the smart thing to do is save, pay off bills, and keep building your fortunes. Dreams are nice, reality is a B.

iBrokeIT

Thanks for the additional info, I would be lieing if I said I wouldn't have done the exact same thing as you and having the same thoughts!

Ukimokia

kohr-ah wrote: »

I think these two statements alone answered your question. Stay where you are at.

Pretty much this, you love your job now, your wife loves her job, your life is going pretty good it sounds. I'd stay right where you are. If I were you.

pitviper

kohr-ah wrote: »

I think these two statements alone answered your question. Stay where you are at.

Yeah, this would be the deal breaker for me too. Rarely do both parties love their jobs…sometimes one or the other, sometimes neither.

RouteMyPacket

Everything in your post tells you that NOT taking it is the right thing.

Tyb

I done the whole LEO thing for 14 years, it was at state level not federal, it's fun for awhile when your young but the stress eventually catches up with you. Resigning and going into IT was the best decision I could have made. My advice would be to stay with your current job if you our truly happy with it.

gorebrush

I would stay if I were you too. Not as if you are doing bad. It is very difficult to be happy in a job so if both of you are happy then it would be a big gamble to take. However a dream is a dream. Will you always wonder what if?

shawnx715

If I were in your shoes, I would go to the final stages. If not, you may regret not knowing if you would've been selected not. Once you find out their decision, you can make your decision. For me, I would stay at the present job.

daviddws

It looks like you have some serious thinking to do! First off.. good jobs come and go unfortunately, even if it means they are dragging you out kicking and screaming. You may think you have a good idea on how long you will be there, but the reality could be much different. The FBI job will pay less.... initially. BUT if you stay with the agency over time, your job security would be HIGH, and you would make more $$ with salary increases than you ever could with your standard corporation (in most cases).

I would do some more research on the FBI and maybe talk with some who have been there awhile to better gauge if this could be a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Chitownjedi

gorebrush wrote: »

I would stay if I were you too. Not as if you are doing bad. It is very difficult to be happy in a job so if both of you are happy then it would be a big gamble to take. However a dream is a dream. Will you always wonder what if?

To list all that stuff and still think that its a reasonable option... I am thinking..lol Of course you stay, but that probably means you really want to try the FBI thing.

Talk to your family. If they support you then give it a shot... if you fail then bust your arse the rest of your life trying to end up as lucky as you were before. But if they sign off, and you okay with taking that chance... then its up to you and what you want to do. You don't come off as if this is something you wouldn't regret the rest of your life not attempting. Just be aware of the risk, the sacrifices, get everyone to sign off, then take responsibility for what comes next and own up to it good or bad. It's not a easy decision, and honestly you will be 100% responsible for the way things end up by committing yourself to pursue this, but that's what makes it a risk.

Rosco2382

Man I will say this, when I first got out of the military I had this opportunity. I eventually passed on it, sometimes I regret doing it. I just know that life sort of along the lines of military life wasn't for me. I always look back and wonder what if, sacrifices are things we always make in life no matter what we do. You just have to decide if this is the sacrifice you want to make or if its just a dream now.

RHEL

daviddws wrote: »

It looks like you have some serious thinking to do! First off.. good jobs come and go unfortunately, even if it means they are dragging you out kicking and screaming. You may think you have a good idea on how long you will be there, but the reality could be much different. The FBI job will pay less.... initially. BUT if you stay with the agency over time, your job security would be HIGH, and you would make more $$ with salary increases than you ever could with your standard corporation (in most cases).

I would do some more research on the FBI and maybe talk with some who have been there awhile to better gauge if this could be a once in a lifetime opportunity.

This has also crossed my mind... I am very young in my career and have already experienced two layoffs (first was a half-time position for state government while going to college), and the second was due to reorganization and a diminishing UNIX environment... Layoffs are extremely stressful and have me constantly paranoid now at my current job.

Additionally, I know that I am essentially salary capped (other than small annual increments) for the area and my position @ 28 years old. This makes me fear for future growth.

However, that's still not enough to make me to uproot my wife's job, sell our home, and take a >50% paycut (when you calculate cost of living) at a time where we already have student loans and other debts pressuring us.

Even if I do choose to pursue this dream, I agree with everyone... Now is not the best time... If I can somehow manage to pay things off quickly and my wife has gotten to the point where she's ready to make a move, that'll be the time to reactivate my application and hope they still want me. For now, I think I'll still attend the final phase testing to at least get over that hump...

RHEL

Ugh... There's the icing on the cake... We just introduced Summer flex-time company-wide. Yeah, I think I am where I belong...

Devilry

I think you may be where you belong, but if it does not interfere too badly with your current situation I would at least finish out the application process - you never know what could happen in the meantime or what the $$$ offer could be from the FBI.

Params7

*Note to self: Don't get married before achieving dream job.