Inappropiate boss.

I recently landed my first IT position and have been at it for a month. It is a 2 month contract with not a lot of hands on experience- primarily inventory and assigning a security level for machines at various health care clinics.First I would like to emphasize that my boss is VERY supportive. He is giving me valuable advice on building my skills, has helped me with my resume, and is giving me GREAT reviews to the company I work for. He is giving me more and more responsibility and training me on different applications.That being said, he is not the most professional guy in the world. He talks about his "smoking hot wife", his girlfriends in high school and their physical features, etc. He sometimes calls me "hunny". On the first day on the job, he mentioned how he believes there needs to be more females in IT but most of them that he has worked with have been incompetent. I am not easily offended and can let like that roll off my back, but it is an issue. How do I address this? This is the first time I have worked in a male-dominated industry and I have some concerns about being an outlier. I don't want to resign myself to believing that I will always deal with some stuff like that. I previously worked in social work and education where I was surrounded by females.Advice would be greatly appreciated.
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I totally work for Michael Scott.
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HAHA! Here is the kicker- he used to work with my husband on projects! I knew I had a chance of running into someone who knew my husband as he used to work at these clinics, but was NOT expecting to work directly with one of his cohorts. He adores my husband, and this may a contributing factor as to why he feels comfortable talking like that around me.
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With that said I see lots of IT guys that act the same way. However they should be able to censor themselves when in mixed company. Most people do this by themselves but others never seem to get it.
Good Luck!
Being another female in this industry, I tend to think of it like this: If they aren't making the comments about me or discriminating against me, I don't let it get to me. I may not agree with them always but if it's not towards my coworkers or me, I couldn't care less what some guy wants to do with <insert his wife's name>
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Eh. Whatever. I think as long as he is willing to give me extra responsibility and help with my skills I can ignore it. It's not discrimination, it's just...ignorance, I suppose.
Thanks everyone!
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There's a bunch of those in the industry. Most of them mean no harm. As others mentioned, has a lot to do w/ culture and people trying not to be bored at work and think they're lightening up the office atmosphere w/ informality. Or when you get further up the ladder, simply a lack of soft skills and emotional intelligence. A lot of people who make it high up in specialized positions got there for their technical expertise, and could be people who neglected their soft skills in order to build that technical knowledge.
It's up to you to determine exactly where the line is. Once you've done that, either steer the convos and interactions to staying on the correct side of the line, or explicitly state where the line is if needed.
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The F word and references to the P word were thrown around all over the place. The men were bad, but the women were just as bad. To fit in, I'd occasionally the F word, but not really the F word. Just said the F word. One time we were running late from lunch and then we got stopped by train. I let the real F word out and everyone just cracked up. I never lived down that slip.
i've moved on and have never ran into that kind of language or sexual references like we're in that business department.
i have seen things that creeped me out. A young girl, possibly under 20 having 50 year old UGLY SOB manager stand behind her stroking her hair as he was discussing her assigned tasks. Totally inappropriate.
in same area saw lots of inappropriate files on computers. One guy had lots of bad porno photos and a greasy keyboard. I took my own keyboard when I worked on his computer. Ughhhh!!!
"You have enemies? Good, that means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." ~Winston S. Churchill
I've come across several females working in IT that are guarded, and don't put up with the BS that gets thrown at them by other men. For me, I do respect and understand the mentality.
Believe it or not but in my place of work, I have the upper hand on the education/cert side of the house, in my area. Overall, I seem to get a lot more respect outside of my work place, especially when I'm on interviews.
I know there are a few girls that roam the boards here, and I'm sure some will chime in. I think Iris has had this discussion a while back too.
In your case I think you should directly and tactfully let him know of certain things that make you feel uncomfortable. Then document it. This recommendation aligns with sexual harassment laws. You have to let the individual know its unwelcome behavior. Running to HR right now is too premature.
In IT you have to be highly tolerant of other ladies, men, customers and management. If you know something violates HR policy, then document it well and think about the repercussions. Weigh the ends vs the means because ones actions can plant a seed in an individual's head toward future relationships. Those that can play nice in the sandbox without throwing sand will thrive.
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Wives... always taking the fun out of things
Since he seems so comfortable around you, I doubt he'll react to it badly. Saying something like "pfffff don't call me honey, not even [insert name of your husband] is allowed to call me that" or "oh please spare me the details" can be easier to say if you want.
Which one more: the lawsuit or the harassment?
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"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." - Homer Simpson
Like someone else said he is just comfortable around you and means no harm.
Depending on how discreet your husband can be in handling such situations, he may be the best bet in smoothing some of this behavior. May backfire as well. You know the situation much better than this board will so proceed with caution.
As far as females in IT, its still around 11-15 percent. Overall IT people don't generally care as much about who you are, sex, orientation, creed, color, religion or that you like polka-dots. As an industry are harder on skill based learning than anything else. That is, can you help me accomplish my job? If not we have no use for you. Can you be trained in a reasonable amount of time to help me do my job and not be a burden while doing so. Better, we can work with you. Everything else is a shade therein.
Women in security are even more rare - about 3 percent. Security takes crap for this all the time. Same reason as above but add even worse hours. The additional continuing education load, lack of family friendliness, and our overall nastiness as an industry group of people. Ever meet a nice auditor?
Come to think about it. I haven't worked directly with a female in my department since the late 90s. Obviously, other departments but not in security. I have meet females in security from other companies before so its not that I have any ingrained prejudice toward females in the industry - just a statistical anomaly on my part. By the way. I hired that individual - twice! The second time she asked me for a position with my then new employer. But I never called her hun, or honey. She'd probably drop kick me into next week if I had.
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Never said anything about quitting- it's a 2 month contract. But regardless, those things are definitely inappropriate in the work place.
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