Inappropiate boss.

I recently landed my first IT position and have been at it for a month. It is a 2 month contract with not a lot of hands on experience- primarily inventory and assigning a security level for machines at various health care clinics.First I would like to emphasize that my boss is VERY supportive. He is giving me valuable advice on building my skills, has helped me with my resume, and is giving me GREAT reviews to the company I work for. He is giving me more and more responsibility and training me on different applications.That being said, he is not the most professional guy in the world. He talks about his "smoking hot wife", his girlfriends in high school and their physical features, etc. He sometimes calls me "hunny". On the first day on the job, he mentioned how he believes there needs to be more females in IT but most of them that he has worked with have been incompetent. I am not easily offended and can let like that roll off my back, but it is an issue. How do I address this? This is the first time I have worked in a male-dominated industry and I have some concerns about being an outlier. I don't want to resign myself to believing that I will always deal with some stuff like that. I previously worked in social work and education where I was surrounded by females.Advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Comments

Iristheangel

olaHalo wrote: »

You'd consider quitting over being called honey and a boss talking about his wife in a positive way?
Like someone else said he is just comfortable around you and means no harm.

I don't think she ever said anything about quitting. It's just probably weird to come from a different more strictly professional environment to a place where people call you honey and mention their wife's ass or whatever in casual conversation. Coming from a financial services background into IT, there was a bit of a cultural shift. It's nothing bad necessarily, just an adjustment and I see where she's coming from. I think the original post on how to address this and not to be a stick in the mud. She (OP) didn't bring up anything about going to his manager, reporting it to HR, quitting, etc. Other people made that suggestion and she said it wasn't that big of a deal in her eyes.

Now if he had stroked her hair and called her his precious, her knee should meet his nads

E Double U

A former colleague told me about how disgusted she was by a comment that another colleague made to her. When I told her that was similar to the comments that I made to her and numerous colleagues, she told me that it was different because it was me lol.

I came to the conclusion that it is only harassment when women don't like you.

Iristheangel

Or she has a personal relationship with you and know that you're joking around while some random dude working with her making those comments could make her uncomfortable and can carry an entirely different meaning. Context does matter.

E Double U

Iristheangel wrote: »

Or she has a personal relationship with you and know that you're joking around while some random dude working with her making those comments could make her uncomfortable and can carry an entirely different meaning. Context does matter.

I like the way I said it better. Please do not burst my bubble.

Blackout

It seems kind of bizarre to think about it, because I was in the military and I used to think they we were the most crass, rude, and sexually harassing out there in terms of what came out of our mouths. But I have been thoroughly shocked at what I hear people say in IT. Don't get me wrong, im not offended by it, I just choose not to use my words in that way, and I do my best to always treat everyone as equals. The majority of the ex military folks I work with at Cisco are the same way, but the older "IT" guys are by far the worst.

(I too feel the need to stroke hair..........)

Phileeeeeeep651

I agree Blackout, I've heard far worse conversations on a normal day at my current position than I did on month 6 of a 9 month deployment lol.

paul78

Iristheangel wrote: »

Context does matter.

Well said - it really does boil down to this.

@betty - unless you have developed some kind of relationship with this person, based on the short time that you have been at this organization and the pecking order that you briefly described, my inclination is to agree that it's entirely inappropriate. But if you can tolerate it and given the short duration of your contract, I personally would just look a blind eye.

This type of flirtatious behavior is so common though. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I occasionally participate in it myself. But I only ever do it in context. And never with anyone that is subordinate to me. For example, there are sometimes women that would sometimes risk making racy comments to me but I would never reciprocate. I was never offended and I always took it as a flattering comment but that is probably based my gender bias as a male.

You may be surprised to learn that the higher up in an organization, arguably, the more inappropriate comments can become - swearing, cussing, and sexual innuendos are a common occurrence.