Another resume critique

So I've brought books, performed numerous google searches online, gone to various sites. Over the course of the past few years with still the same little results....little to no calls. Many of the forum members are above this type of thing. However could some of you give me please some pointers.

Also if some of the text doesn't make sense I apologize, I had to heavily edit out any indication of my job locations.

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anhtran35

What the......why are there brackets around your degree??? Where is your professional summary??? Your security clearance is not a certification. Put it in it's own category. You should edit out some of the Skillset like heavy lifting. Reward statements should be listed under the previous jobs or current job you have as an achievement. You should delete the specific exam info. Base on what I see you have a MCSA: Windows 7. You should put that down ASAP. You should be applying for Windows System Administrator positions. What part of VA is local to you??? I'm thinking more and more it's your resume. You should be getting phone calls left and right if you are close to NOVA or DC.

dark3d

1. No name / email address to contact you. You can't expect the person receiving your resume is the only one that would look at it.

2. Lose the table.

3. There is more information on there about your employers than about yourself. You aren't selling your previous employers, right?

Your resume is your opportunity to sell yourself. First, to get through HR. Your degree and certs will help there. Make those prominent.
You can list a couple of your biggest achievements, but don't be too specific. Setup the interviewer with a few directed questions so that you can elaborate and show off your victories. Don't put everything out there in long form so when you do get an interview they aren't wasting the interview time reading your resume rather than interacting with you. Your primary goal when face to face with an interviewer is to make them understand that you are capable of performing the duties of the position and you will integrate into the office culture. At least that's what I think. YMMV.

Chevel

anhtran35 wrote: »

What the......why are there brackets around your degree??? Where is your professional summary??? Your security clearance is not a certification. Put it in it's own category. You should edit out some of the Skillset like heavy lifting. Reward statements should be listed under the previous jobs or current job you have as an achievement. You should delete the specific exam info. Base on what I see you have a MCSA: Windows 7. You should put that down ASAP. You should be applying for Windows System Administrator positions. What part of VA is local to you??? I'm thinking more and more it's your resume. You should be getting phone calls left and right if you are close to NOVA or DC.

I thought it would be "attrative" and "flashy" to get the HR's attention. I will remove the brackets. I did not have a professional summary as I read it would be redundant to have? Maybe I stand corrected. Okay I will remove the fluff in the skill set. And set the Clearance in its own location. I've been trying to apply for Windows Administrator positions as well as Jr. but what little calls I get are for help desk. I'm closer to the Richmond area. I'm about 2 to 3 hours from NOVA and DC and yes I've applied there to out of desperation.

Chevel

dark3d wrote: »

1. No name / email address to contact you. You can't expect the person receiving your resume is the only one that would look at it.

2. Lose the table.

3. There is more information on there about your employers than about yourself. You aren't selling your previous employers, right?

Your resume is your opportunity to sell yourself. First, to get through HR. Your degree and certs will help there. Make those prominent.
You can list a couple of your biggest achievements, but don't be too specific. Setup the interviewer with a few directed questions so that you can elaborate and show off your victories. Don't put everything out there in long form so when you do get an interview they aren't wasting the interview time reading your resume rather than interacting with you. Your primary goal when face to face with an interviewer is to make them understand that you are capable of performing the duties of the position and you will integrate into the office culture. At least that's what I think. YMMV.

1. I took out my personal information as I was placing it on a forum.

2. I will remove the table.
3. I thought that's what employers wanted was to read about how I contributed to the company? How much money saved and projects performed?
4. Understood, I will re-arrange my certifications and lose the bracket around my degree.

Thank you both I appreciate it, now I know why I get so few calls.

srabiee

I hate to say, but the resume formatting is atrocious. That's the bad news. The good news is there's plenty of forum members to give you constructive advice and help you fix it.

Way too much wasted white space, and a 4 page resume is outrageous unless you are the CEO of a Fortune 500 company with 30 years of experience. You need to get this thing down to 1 ~ 2 pages maximum. That would be the first thing that I recommend you accomplish. Doing so will require a competent resume template. There are many that you can use. This one is my favorite:

http://www.techexams.net/forums/jobs-degrees/91333-resume-time.html

itsgonnahappen

Why are you writing this in third person? This is your own resume.

cyberguypr

Here are my observations:
- Formatting is a big thing. Instead of completely deleting name/email you should put dummy info.
- There's too much wasted space. Single space the whole document.
- 4 pages is a big NO-NO. based on what you've done I don't see a reason to go over 2 pages.
- 'Skillset' section tells me NOTHING about yout level of expertise or experience with those products. Seems like fluff.
- That table is horrendous
- "closed over 950+" - over what period of time? Says nothing by itself.
- "Coordinates with NEC" - If I have to guess what NEC is I'll go with National Electrical Code or National Equestrian Centre
- Multiple errors such as "printers, and telephone equipment planning", "network access, A/V connections while monitoring and evaluation system performances...", and "team of 7 Processes a range of scheduled".
- Your verbs need to be standardized
- "Developed scripts for our team to patch updates" - you do not patch updates. You patch or update systems, applications, etc.

Having read hundreds of resumes across my career, this one in its current state would go into the circular file immediately. It seems like you have good material to work with but it needs serious work. Mine and many others' resume looks like the one here: http://www.techexams.net/forums/jobs-degrees/91333-resume-time.html. That is what I love to see come across my desk/inbox.

Chevel

itsgonnahappen wrote: »

Why are you writing this in third person? This is your own resume.

I read and was told its "bad" to write resumes in the first person.

Cyberscum

That resume should be no more than 1 page...2 page max

If you need a format and example PM me

Chevel

srabiee wrote: »

I hate to say, but the resume formatting is atrocious. That's the bad news. The good news is there's plenty of forum members to give you constructive advice and help you fix it.

Way too much wasted white space, and a 4 page resume is outrageous unless you are the CEO of a Fortune 500 company with 30 years of experience. You need to get this thing down to 1 ~ 2 pages maximum. That would be the first thing that I recommend you accomplish. Doing so will require a competent resume template. There are many that you can use. This one is my favorite:

http://www.techexams.net/forums/jobs-degrees/91333-resume-time.html

No offense taken.

There's so much conflicting resume information out there in regards to a the "correct" way. I remember the rule in HS and college about resume's should be no more than 2 pages 3 would be "tolerable" However the books I brought and articles I read stated it was okay depending on the job.

Thank you I will refer to the sample listed to get an idea of how to improve upon mine.

Chevel

cyberguypr wrote: »

Here are my observations:
- Formatting is a big thing. Instead of completely deleting name/email you should put dummy info.
- There's too much wasted space. Single space the whole document.
- 4 pages is a big NO-NO. based on what you've done I don't see a reason to go over 2 pages.
- 'Skillset' section tells me NOTHING about yout level of expertise or experience with those products. Seems like fluff.
- That table is horrendous
- "closed over 950+" - over what period of time? Says nothing by itself.
- "Coordinates with NEC" - If I have to guess what NEC is I'll go with National Electrical Code or National Equestrian Centre
- Multiple errors such as "printers, and telephone equipment planning", "network access, A/V connections while monitoring and evaluation system performances...", and "team of 7 Processes a range of scheduled".
- Your verbs need to be standardized
- "Developed scripts for our team to patch updates" - you do not patch updates. You patch or update systems, applications, etc.

Having read hundreds of resumes across my career, this one in its current state would go into the circular file immediately. It seems like you have good material to work with but it needs serious work. Mine and many others' resume looks like the one here: http://www.techexams.net/forums/jobs-degrees/91333-resume-time.html. That is what I love to see come across my desk/inbox.

Very good points! Especially about the NEC and my ticket closure count. I can't believe I missed that.

Also thanks very much for pointing out the redundancy and inaccuracies in my descriptions, I will reconcile them immediately. Thank you for the link as well I check it out and see what I did wrong.

Chevel

Cyberscum wrote: »

That resume should be no more than 1 page...2 page max

If you need a format and example PM me

Thank you for being another added resource. Pm sent.

cyberguypr

BTW, great attitude on your end. We have guys here who think have great resumes, ask for feedback, we grill them, and they start complaining.

anhtran35

Are you able to relocate??? DC/VA would be a great place with your current credentials. You should eventually seek out to finish your Windows Server 2008 MCITP certification with 2 more exams.

Pupil

Right now it's pretty bad but if you act on the advice given in this thread, you can turn it around and start getting noticed.

Chevel

anhtran35 wrote: »

Are you able to relocate??? DC/VA would be a great place with your current credentials. You should eventually seek out to finish your Windows Server 2008 MCITP certification with 2 more exams.

I don't have that kind of money to relocate and maintain especially up there. However I am not opposed to carpooling like others do in my area. Its a final option if I can't find anything down here. Yes I plan to pursue Windows Server 2008 in fact I received a reimbursement from my company for taking a previous certification. So I have that along with a free voucher to use. All I have to do now is study study study.

Chevel

cyberguypr wrote: »

BTW, great attitude on your end. We have guys here who think have great resumes, ask for feedback, we grill them, and they start complaining.

Thank you, the replies in this post were very honest with me and I appreciate that. I asked for help and received great feedback. When I was redoing my resume I realize how bad it was........no wonder I wasn't getting anything lol. Not just the format but I realize I pretty much repeating myself throughout the whole document. I've said it before this truly is a "game" I just hoping to beat the odds with the right guidance.