Resume Help ASAP

I'm about two months from finishing my Tech School so I have been working on my Resume here and there but Today my Instructor approached me and stated "That the hiring manager from DELL in my city just sent an e-mail looking for some leads on super star Students

who meet their needs and are about to finish school with the required cert's that they require" So she thought of me

but needs the resume asap.

That made my day but here is my issue my Resume was only about 2/3's done so I have been pounding away to finish it I think I might be done I need some input I need to have this done by Monday morning so she can send it in BTW I borrowed the template off of these forums several months ago and everyone that has looked at it really likes the layout.

Here it is
Attachment not found.
Help Please...

Sample1.doc

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Comments

DigitalZeroOne

The first major issue I have is that you list your work titles and dates in one lump sum, and then you sum up your duties in one lump sum as well. You should list your title, dates, maybe even the city and state, and then under that you write about what duties you performed for that particular company.

Sys Admin Company Name June 2011 - date City, State
I worked as a sys Admin for mickey mouse as a sys admin, over the course of my time there, I routinely planned server upgrades and deployments, routine account creation and configuration of group policies, and whatever else you want to say.

Here is a sample, of what I'm talking about.

My sample.doc

Krunchi

Thanks for the input I submitted my Resume Yesterday with a few minor grammar tweaks and after letting the English Comp Professor at my school look it over she loved it.

I got a call from HR at DELL today and they want to setup an interview for a Enterprise Help Desk support position so I had to do an online application tonight and now I need to call them back in the morning to setup a date and time so happy going to School for the last year has really drained my wallet to the point that some days I did not know if I had enough gas to get there and back but things are looking up the pay is pretty good.

TechExams has been a great tool for helping me to become a better IT Geek and Professional I would like to thank everyone in the community for being so helpful.

DigitalZeroOne

Congratulations, I hope you get it.