Been down this road before. Please Critique My Resume! (Re-invented)

NavyIT

As the title says.

Smart people, please help me!

Thanks in advance.

zrockstar

I like it. The intro for me doesn't flow well though. I am never a fan of bouncing between resume speak and first person. Choose one or the other. You have a double semicolon in your Navy section. The bolding on your AS degree looks awkward. I think I told you this last time and see you didn't implement it, but list some of your Navy awards. NAMs, good conduct medals, even letters of appreciation look impressive, and most importantly open the door up in an interview for you to talk about yourself in a very good light. If you don't include them you are cheating yourself.

pinkydapimp

i think its good. however, i would break out some addition sections for keywords. you have the security technologies and systems section. i might break it out into OS, Networking, Software/tools, Hardware(list some of the routers and hardware you have worked with).. Keywords increase the chance of your resume being seen by a human. Good luck.

NavyIT

Thank you very much for the feedback. I will get working on a revision and post it pretty soon. About the awards, I would like to include them but I'm not sure where I see enough space. Even if I only want to list my best 3 awards, I just don't see room for it. Suggestions?

Thanks!

zrockstar

I would say that including your awards would be more important than your key skills section since most of that stuff would be assumed for the type of position you will be applying for. If you have some civilian awards too that would be good, think something from your college or something. If not you can include them in your Navy section but you would have to sacrifice some content there which is more valuable to me than the key skills.

NavyIT

Okay, I've taken the feedback and did some modification. Please let me know what you guys think! Any criticism is appreciated! Thank you!RatliffResume(TE Review).doc

Codyy

Nice resume, I like it. Only thing I would change on the updated one is put CE in caps(just looks more professional in my opinion) and delete m16/9mm marksman, that really threw me off(it's a bit cheesy), I don't feel it belongs on an IT resume ..only my opinion though.

I'm jealous you actually do all of this. I hold the exact job but in the Army but don't have experience with 3/4 of what you listed. =/

NavyIT

Thanks for the advice. I guess I take some of the things I get to do for granted. When you're out to sea there is no one there to help you except yourself, so we have to maintain all the systems and hardware. There is only 8 IT's on the ship, 3 of which are E6 so they just lead/manage, leaving just 5 of us to maintain the entire network and the radio communications side which is (imo) more difficult than the network. I guess I will take off the marksman qualifications, but I really have nothing else to put there except GWOT and National Defense.. which everyone gets.

Essendon

The first resume on TE that I've liked instantly! I dont have anything apart from the usage of the first person below the Network Admin bit and I think it's a bit too long. Move to the third person and trim the fat a bit and you should be right.

NavyIT

Thanks Essendon. Trim the fat from where? Under the Network Admin title or everywhere? Also, is third person generally more accepted than first person on a resume? I don't really know about resume writing etiquette. Thank you!

Essendon

Sorry, the bit under the Net Admin title. You know where you have - I am this and I am that, instead write - Accomplished IT professional with..... Years of experience... in other words, get rid of the I. Like I said before, it's too long, you have 5-6 sentences. 2-3 is the norm, usually, anything more is self-grandiose (no offence meant).

The rest of it's great!

gbdavidx

you don't want to continue your service? do they off reserves or reenlistment bonuses? What kind of score did you have to have for an IST type job?

NavyIT

No I am more than ready to get out. The Navy is the best decision I have ever made for myself personally and professionally, but my time here needs to come to an end. I have learned enough to where I feel my professional growth is now limited, the leadership is poor and quite frankly I feel like I work with high school seniors. For IT's with the school I have, there is a 45k re-enlistment bonus for 6 years. Not worth it.. I'm not sure what the minimum requirement is for IT but I scored an 84.

instant000

1. Mis-spelled available at the bottom
2. Someone already mentioned to cap CE on the Security+
3. Not sure you should be placing your clearance on it.
4. Someone already mentioned "I am".
5. Alumnus is singular, alumni is plural

This looks 1,000 times better than the resume I posted when I got out of the service. (Heck, probably better even than the one I posted up here last year.)

It also has sex appeal: My wife likes it, too!

With regards to your comment about "I feel like I work with high school seniors" ... you might want to carefully scout out where you work next.

instant000

Just to reiterate:
It's easy-to-read. I like it a lot.

I actually think the "I am" touch is original, but the "first person perspective" might scare some people off. Civilians get a certain notion that military personnel are overtly aggressive.

What your resume does for me is give the impression that this is someone who knows how to take care of responsibilities and get the job done.

Keep in mind that I'm prior service Army, so I may be biased.

NavyIT

Thanks instant, that was very helpful feedback. The "ce" on security+ is lowercase because on my actual certificate it is lowercase, is this wrong? Thanks for the advice on the security clearance, your input prompted me to read up about advertising them on a resume, and I think some changes may be in order. I'm still debating on first person/third, but it seems third is more accepted. Also, not sure why spell check didn't catch the "available" misspelling. Did you mention I should scout very carefully where I look for a job outside of the Navy because there is a good chance that no matter where I go I will be working with idiots?

Again, I appreciate everyones advice and I will make some corrections and post a new one soon. It's not going to happen tonight though because I have tomorrow off and I've been drinking a bit too much and I'm about to watch this football game. Roll Tide!