How do you sell yourself?

Specifically in an interview. I am so bad at talking well about myself. When I was very very young I had an arrogance problem, I corrected that by college but now am the opposite. I can't say much of a good thing about myself. I am very uncomfortable even in receiving a compliment.

I end up going into interviews feeling like I don't deserve the job and am not getting it. Which I know is sabotaging my chances.

Sounds like a dumb problem for an adult to have, but anyone else struggle with this? Advice? Thoughts?

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dhay13

Yep. Sounds alot like me

markulous

I try to focus on how passionate I am and what I've done to get to where I'm at. To me that's easier than listing all these adjectives about myself.

thomas_

I think at some point you have to realize that while you may not be the best at something, you're certainly not the worst. Take a look at things that you think you do well or fairly well. Do you do those things better than other people you work with or have worked with? You don't have to do it better than everyone you have ever worked with, just some. I would use that as a starting point and then find 2 or 3 of those things that you want to use a personal strength in an interview should you ever be asked.

Instead of coming up with reasons about why you don't deserve a job, focus on reasons why you are a good fit for the job and tell yourself that repeatedly before the interview. If you're uncomfortable receiving a compliment then give yourself compliments aloud while standing in front of the mirror and then practice coming up with thanking yourself for the compliment that you just gave yourself.

MeanDrunkR2D2

I can relate to this and I'm fairly sure that I recently started a thread that was pretty much how you wrote yours. It's hard because I don't want to "Fake it" as I want a company to actually hire me into the role I want because I do know what I'm doing, even if I do not have the enterprise experience of actually doing that. So I focus more on what I can control and have to be observant on how I am selling myself so I don't shoot myself in the foot. Sure, I could go and fluff up some things that a company may ask for, but if I get into providing examples of whatever that is, I fear I'll mess up and look a fool so I'd rather be honest about what I do know, and more importantly what I am capable of learning and how I would go out to find that information and learn what I needed to be able to complete that task.

Mishra

Start by loving yourself and who you are. Once that is successful, you can speak legitimately about your methods to work and life.

yuddhidhtir

I am also struggling with the same thing. The lack of confidence makes the interviewer think that either we are faking or we are not confident of our skills.

BuzzSaw

Techytach wrote: »

Specifically in an interview. I am so bad at talking well about myself. When I was very very young I had an arrogance problem, I corrected that by college but now am the opposite. I can't say much of a good thing about myself. I am very uncomfortable even in receiving a compliment.

I end up going into interviews feeling like I don't deserve the job and am not getting it. Which I know is sabotaging my chances.

Sounds like a dumb problem for an adult to have, but anyone else struggle with this? Advice? Thoughts?

Not a dumb problem. This is a common problem, especially among smart engineer types.

I have helped in the hiring process at 2 companies, and I can tell you that timid, shy, and self depreciation is a trend among engineers today. I could go on and on about WHY I think it's happening . . . but I wont climb on that soap box.

BUT here is the good news: It's easier to stand out from the crowd when the baseline is frankly pretty low

So, FWIW here are a few tips I think could be helpful

1. Attitude is everything! I think what some folks fall victim to is that we think about all of the stuff we DON'T know instead of the things we DO know. An example might be a network engineer (this is a real interview that I took part in). Not word for word, but it went something like this:

"Yeah, I can manage XYZ firewall"
"Yeah, I can manage XYZ switch"
"Oh yeah, I have experience with BGP"
"Yeah, I have done colocation services before"

"ohhhh ... no I have never managed juniper .. you might need to find someone else"

The dude knew 90% of what we wanted yet beat himself up. A different answer: "Well I haven't had a chance to manage Juniper before, but I bet I could learn!" with a smile . . .

The two answers don't seem all that different but to someone you JUST met and to someone who has something YOU want (a job) - it's a big deal.

2. I was given some advice early in my career that has quite literally probably help me make more money in my life as I sit for interviews. It was simple, and it was:
"No one else is going to sell you" Meaning: you are the only one that can talk you up

3. Confidence. Selling yourself isn't about being a use car salesman, or saying JUST the right thing and JUST the right time. It's about displaying a level of confidence in yourself that you can do a job.

4. An interviewer is trying to see about what you DON'T know. They already know what you do know. It's on your resume, and its written all over the position you applied for. My point: It's likely an interviewer will purposely ask you about stuff that may not be on your resume just to see how you react.

5. At least 20% (Usually much more) of job skills are learned on the job. Yeah, Cisco is Cisco, Windows is Windows, etc . . But job skills are defined by exactly what you need to do to do YOUR job not just a job and often that changes a lot from position to position. My point: recruiters know this as well. Often it seems like the candidates themselves don't know it and get wrapped up in negatives instead of positives.

dhay13

@=MeanDrunkR2D2;
Are you my long lost twin? Geeesh. Sounds just like me. I am confident that I am the most determined person that will be interviewed for any given position but I haven't had the chance to work with many common enterprise tools or systems and refuse to lie about my accomplishments so end up shooting myself in the foot by saying 'I have never done this or that' but I do express my determination. I think sometimes it comes off as sounding desperate.

MeanDrunkR2D2

@=dhay13

And I have people I have worked with that I was the go to person for them for anything they had encountered but they don't have this "flaw" that we have and were able to fake it good enough to get a job and then learn everything on the job that I feel confident that I can do. I get asked "Do you know Active Directory". Well, yes, I know AD and what it's used for, but then they ask what I have done with it for work. Well, since I've worked for larger org's, the server team tends to not let their tight grip of those things away as they fear someone will mess it up. So when I say it's mostly been just assigning users to OU's (That was stripped from my group when it was found that marketing had those rights and were assigning themselves as full admins for everything) or permissions or resetting passwords, that's about all I've ever been able to do. And even when I ask, because it's not in the scope of my role they don't want to give up that control.

I know I can do the job and excel at it, but I just haven't been able to get that chance to prove it. Everything that I've had thrown at me I've excelled at and many times figured it out on my own without any help other than google-fu.

Verities

@=Techytach

Lots of good advice in the thread. The IT field tends to attract introverts, so you and others like you are not alone. Another piece of advice is you can practice talking and smiling in front of a mirror, as well as working on your posture. The more you practice, the more confident you'll get, just like if you were practicing a task for a certification exam, in a virtual lab.

jeremywatts2005

I have learned to sell myself very well. For instance my current job I never did an in person interview. I did it with two phone screens then an offer. I make sure that when I talk on the phone I stand up and project my voice. Do not hesitate or use uhhhh ummm be fluid in your speech. If you do not know an answer say you don't and do not stall. If you need to collect your thoughts pause briefly then speak leaving out the above filler words. Engage with the person you are conversing with. Nod your head and agree or interject if you can and feel it is beneficial. On the phone I use try to use filler words when they speak to let them know I am listening. Things like yeah, ok and so on. This will help the interviewer know you are listening and understanding him or her.

In person I walk in with a suit and tie and my high shined black cowboy boots (Texas). I shake the interviewers hand firmly and try to take a position at the table which places the interviewer and myself on a similar level. Usually across from each other and never at an angle or sitting lower than them. I bring 3 copies of my resume in a nice folio printed on nice paper and hand them to each of the individuals interviewing me. I pull out a nice leather bound notebook and a good pen no cheap bic to take notes for the interview. As I am listening to them I am writing notes and engaging. At the end I refer back to the notes to answer very focused questions regarding the job and the duties. Managers eat this stuff up and it shows you are a true pro who came prepared and ready to listen to what they had to say. It also shows your interest in the job and you are willing to go extra. Usually you will get an offer after you have shown this level of professionalism because they will be blown away by you and the other candidates look like garbage compared to you. Who would you rather hire a guy who comes into an interview dressed and acting like a true professional or the guy who slops down and sits and barely says a word.

NavyMooseCCNA

Sounds like me. Shy, timid, anxious, self deprecating sense of humor. I loathe putting in accomplishments in employee assessments because I hate bragging.

Plantwiz

Some of this comes down to age/maturity.

Some people seem like they are very natural at talking about any topic including themselves and then there is the rest of us. So, from my experience, the first step is identifying the problem. (don't like to talk about self, insecure, loss of words, etc...) Likely, none of the reasons are true, but they are in essence blocks keeping one from being successful in selling themselves. Second step, write down the problem and examples of times words flowed out that should not have flown, or simply feeling of tongue-tied or worse yet, word-vomit (cacography) hit. Take time, ask friends co-workers, peers, for what they may have said in a similar situation...learn from this interaction.

Remember, we are judged (like it or not) on the words we use, how we use them, and how they are delivered. It is not acceptable for adults (adult professionals) to copout with, 'I am anxious, shy, too embarrassed, etc..'. While being shy and anxious may be true, it is not an acceptable reason in the business world to fail to communicate properly. The solution, I have found, is practice.

Practice taking interviews on jobs you may not be qualified for or simply you don't want but may be interested in (obviously, save this for a time when job shopping is already going on not taking personal days to do this). Look into alma matters and see if they are offering job seminars, check out unemployment offices and see if they have job interview skills classes or such being offered. INVEST in this self training.

Grant it, I have found doing practice interviews like doing fake life saving skills courses...a little awkward when we are 'pretending' to save a life, but in an emergency how one practices is how one performs...same with a job interview. Practice well, better results will follow.

In the end, we only need to loathe this task less than our competition so we get selected and win the job offer over others, right

networker050184

jeremywatts2005 wrote: »

I have learned to sell myself very well. For instance my current job I never did an in person interview. I did it with two phone screens then an offer. I make sure that when I talk on the phone I stand up and project my voice. Do not hesitate or use uhhhh ummm be fluid in your speech. If you do not know an answer say you don't and do not stall. If you need to collect your thoughts pause briefly then speak leaving out the above filler words. Engage with the person you are conversing with. Nod your head and agree or interject if you can and feel it is beneficial. On the phone I use try to use filler words when they speak to let them know I am listening. Things like yeah, ok and so on. This will help the interviewer know you are listening and understanding him or her.

In person I walk in with a suit and tie and my high shined black cowboy boots (Texas). I shake the interviewers hand firmly and try to take a position at the table which places the interviewer and myself on a similar level. Usually across from each other and never at an angle or sitting lower than them. I bring 3 copies of my resume in a nice folio printed on nice paper and hand them to each of the individuals interviewing me. I pull out a nice leather bound notebook and a good pen no cheap bic to take notes for the interview. As I am listening to them I am writing notes and engaging. At the end I refer back to the notes to answer very focused questions regarding the job and the duties. Managers eat this stuff up and it shows you are a true pro who came prepared and ready to listen to what they had to say. It also shows your interest in the job and you are willing to go extra. Usually you will get an offer after you have shown this level of professionalism because they will be blown away by you and the other candidates look like garbage compared to you. Who would you rather hire a guy who comes into an interview dressed and acting like a true professional or the guy who slops down and sits and barely says a word.

While I do think this is a bit over the top, I agree with the sentiment. Be engaged, ask questions, be professional but enthusiastic. I don't think you need a fancy suit or an expensive pen to do all that though!