In need of some advice

So here's the deal, I recently took a job as a Sr. Penetration tester and was relocated to VA. The job that was sold to me by my recruiter and in my interview is not at all the job that I am currently doing. My fiancé is pregnant with our second child and has no support structure here since all of our family is back home in IN. This move has been really hard on her since she is pregnant and left at home everyday while I go to work and she has no family or friends here.

Due to my dissatisfaction with my current job and other issues I began looking for a way to get us back to IN. I recently spoke to the owner of a small company that has contracts at the same base where I used to work. He offered me 70k BUT they basically have no benefits. They don't offer health insurance but they reimburse employees from 1200-1600 a month for insurance costs as the cost for them to purchase insurance for employees is astronomical. I current make over 100k but with the drastically reduced cost of housing in IN, I wouldn't really be losing that much income persay. I am just needing some input on whether you guys think the reimbursed insurance sounds like a decent deal or not and thoughts on the situation as a whole.

One last comment I would like to make is that I took this job because it seemed like a great opportunity and good move for the well being of our family(the high salary) but what I have come to realize through this whole thing is that money isn't everything. Even if I was making twice as much as I do now, I would still be unhappy.

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labscloud

NO job is worth your family suffering because of your job. This doesn't sound like something you could just "tough it out" either so I would look at getting back to something more comfortable for everybody. Good luck!

McxRisley

My thoughts exactly @labscloud. We were optimistic when we first moved here, but its just not getting any better for us. I am just waiting on more details on the position I was offered.

NetworkNewb

McxRisley wrote: »

what I have come to realize through this whole thing is that money isn't everything. Even if I was making twice as much as I do now, I would still be unhappy.

This x100. Being around family and friends beats the snot out of having more money every day of the week.

Not to mention being stay at home mom (or dad) sounds awful. And to have to do it a new area where you don't know anyone sounds like torture to me

Best of luck on finding something back in IN!

scaredoftests

Go back to Indiana. Virginia is just too expensive and traffic, don't get me started. LOL Your wife will really love you for this.

TheFORCE

Family is always first. I hope it works out for you, I know how hard it can be and the stress level it involves. Do whats best for your family.

blatini

Have you thought about ditching your family?

That sounds like a lot of reimbursement. I would definitely move back

xxxkaliboyxxx

Move back for sure. Look at it this way, family will be there long after any job.

Curious what does the current company have you doing that makes it so bad?

UnixGuy

McxRisley wrote: »

... The job that was sold to me by my recruiter and in my interview is not at all the job that I am currently doing. .....

One last comment I would like to make is that I took this job because it seemed like a great opportunity and good move for the well being of our family(the high salary) but what I have come to realize through this whole thing is that money isn't everything. Even if I was making twice as much as I do now, I would still be unhappy.

I hate it when this happen! It happened to me once before and I dreaded every minute...why do hiring managers lie about the actual day to day tasks?!?!

I took a pay cut because of that, and let me tell you, I thought I'd be happier with the paycut; and I was...for few months anyway. Then I realised how much I actually need the money for long term plans....I'd be careful with taking any pay cut...I understand it sucks being in a job that wasn't as advertised...but I'd think of everything else before moving

McxRisley

I appreciate everyones input. I think I have decided that I am going to accpet the job when the offer comes this week.

@UnixGuy I was losing a lot more than just friends and family when I took this job. I have played drums for 17 years and been in several bands, I also have a massive drumset that I have not been able to play once since I moved here due to noise ordinances and living in the city. This alone has been driving me nuts lol.

@xxxKaliboyxxx Basically I was sold on the idea that I would get to do all of these pen tests on various devices and other things which I am not allowed to say due to the classification of my job. Well that was a lie, I haven't done many tests yet and its all been paperwork and before people chime in with the "Oh man but paperwork is part of the job", ya I get that and that is something that I am fully aware of BUT when the team I'm on starts spending all of their time going back and changing commas to the oxford comma and adding 2 spaces before a period(doing a bunch of bullshit tech writer edits)......... It starts to become concerning to me, especially when we have people here who were hired to do this exact thing, yet its being thrown onto the testers laps. I could go on all day about this, but that should give you an idea of just one of the problems here.

Danielh22185

Question: is the reimbursement of 1200-1600 a month factored into your 70k? Or is that in addition?

This is a very important thing to consider with a pregnant wife that is going to need A LOT of medical attention during pregnancy, during birth, and after. Not to mention baby too. My wife unfortunately had to to do C-Sections for both of our children (due to high risk pregnancies) but the total bill was around $25k total for everything for each kid. Luckily I only had something like $2k to pay after insurance.

One thing that I would be concerned with taking the job back home is the loss of health benefits with a pregnant wife. That is good they give you some cash but if it's not in additional to your 70k you are taking a massive pay cut.

Just putting another thing to consider out there because I understand the costs of having a child and that I would never take a new job without health insurance (personally speaking of course).

I also totally agree you need to do what makes you and your wife happy.

Good luck!

LonerVamp

Man, I tell ya. If my name is on a report and someone is going in and putting two spaces after periods and removing my commas? I'm going to get cranky. (And I'm old enough that I was taught 2 spaces between sentences, but that need to be reduced to 1.) Having one less comma is frustrating. I'm not sure how anyone defends removing the Oxford comma.

McxRisley

The health insurance reimbursement is in addition to the 70k. I would have laughed it was the other way around lol

Danielh22185

McxRisley wrote: »

The health insurance reimbursement is in addition to the 70k. I would have laughed it was the other way around lol

That's good! If you think you guys can make it work with the upcoming health expenses of having a baby I definitely agree then to get back you and your family's happiness.

mjnk77

The health insurance reimbursement + the salary with a lower cost of living, and more importantly the support and happiness for your family seems like an easy choice to make. Best of luck!

McxRisley

So I've interviewed for 2 positions back home now and both went very well. The funny thing is, neither of them were pentesting jobs but It was brought up in both interviews that they were looking to do some pentesting and that they needed someone like me. Things are looking pretty good, the original job I mentioned could pan out to be exactly what I want. The owner said that I would primarily be doing a C&A role(which is what I used to do) for the time being BUT he would start working on getting some commercial pentests and letting me handle it all. Then theres the other position I just interviewed for, the interview was supposed to be for a CND/incident response position but the manager mentioned the ywere looking to start their own internal pentesting within the next 6 months and that they needed someone with my skillset and expertise. The only issue with the second job was the hours, they are a 24/7 SOC and they only work 2 shifts, noon to midnight and midnight to noon. I told the manager these hours would not work for me BUT she said she would see what she could to do to work with me on the hours. So now its just a matter of playing the waiting game.

McxRisley

I have had an interesting turn of events this last week, I was supposed to have an interview with the company that won the new contract back where I used to work. The time was set for 6 pm on Monday, so I sat around and waited for the call. When I finally got the call, it was my old boss! It turned out to not even be an interview, she just asked me if I wanted my job back and how much it would take for me to come back. I threw them a number and they met it! So needless to say, I'm goin back home! I just gota wait until the paper work is done and I have the official offer.

scaredoftests

Excellent news!

ITSpectre

McxRisley wrote: »

I have had an interesting turn of events this last week, I was supposed to have an interview with the company that won the new contract back where I used to work. The time was set for 6 pm on Monday, so I sat around and waited for the call. When I finally got the call, it was my old boss! It turned out to not even be an interview, she just asked me if I wanted my job back and how much it would take for me to come back. I threw them a number and they met it! So needless to say, I'm goin back home! I just gota wait until the paper work is done and I have the official offer.

Im happy for you!!!! Im talking to a woman now that has kids and she loves that Im In IT. Thank you for sharing your experience with the forum. If things between us go as planned I will get the honor of being her man and thinking of someone else other than me. Its funny how things work out as well.... which is why i remember Iris made a post that got a sticky and in that post she said "never burn bridges" I see that in your post... Had you burned the bridge between you and your former employer, you would not have that ability to go back to them.
I know you and your family will be better off in IN... May you have a blessed journey back home and may all your dreams come true!!!!

TLeTourneau

McxRisley wrote: »

I have had an interesting turn of events this last week, I was supposed to have an interview with the company that won the new contract back where I used to work. The time was set for 6 pm on Monday, so I sat around and waited for the call. When I finally got the call, it was my old boss! It turned out to not even be an interview, she just asked me if I wanted my job back and how much it would take for me to come back. I threw them a number and they met it! So needless to say, I'm goin back home! I just gota wait until the paper work is done and I have the official offer.

Great news, I'm glad it worked out for you!

volfkhat

Man do i luv a happy ending :]

Cheers to you!

GeekyChick

Congratulations that you got your job back with more pay and you get to move back closer to family! I just want to thank the men on here that support their families financially but also emotionally! I think that's great that you all are so supportive of your wives' happiness.

I was a stay-at-home mom for years and it's an incredibly hard job and to have family around is important. I didn't get the opportunity to have my family around because it just wasn't possible and that made it so difficult. Thankfully I had a lot of close friends and they became like family to me. Anyway, kudos men.

mjnk77

Congrats!

yuddhidhtir

Congrats!