Getting run down by the "you cant do it" attitude.

So Im feeling a bit run down. Im only partially employed atm I have occasional construction jobs. Looking for work but cant find anything steady. Im a full time student pursing a Associates in Electronics and working toward an A+ cert. But keep experiencing negativity from friends.
For instance, friends say that Im lazy, that school isnt very hard or that I obviously just dont want a job bad enough.
Another thing thats getting to me is my dream job is to work for Sony. I have friends that work there but when I ask what steps I should take to pursue that kind of career they just tell me "whoa u gotta walk before u can run. How about u go get a degree in something before trying to run with the big dogs". Its not like i was asking or job, just how do i get there...
Anyway I feel like giving up and just moving north to be around family. idk what to do. Does anyone else experence this kind of thing?

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nhan.ng

1. you need new friends

2. Check out WGU.
3. Start enrolling, you'll finish it with a BS in a few terms.

EuclidJones

nhan.ng wrote: »

1. you need new friends
2. Check out WGU.
3. Start enrolling, you'll finish it with a BS in a few terms.

I agree. Friends that are constantly putting you down are not, in my opinion, friends.

Figure out what kind of job you'd like to achieve with Sony and see if they are currently looking (Check their site). If they have something similar posted now you can determine what kind of skills they want and structure your self education/certs in that direction while you work towards a degree. If Sony doesn't have a similar job posting now look for job titles on Monster or Dice and use them as a baseline.

I can't speak from experience regarding WGU but I have done a bunch of research into it and it looks pretty amazing. I may enroll myself.

Don't give up because of those around you. Are they this negative in regards to their own futures?

Webmaster

Dragonranger wrote:

Getting run down by the "you cant do it" attitude.

In this competitive world you can't let yourself get run down by such (or other) attitudes of others. Especially if you want to and can go fast there will always be people trying to slow you down to their tempo. Just change your own attitude in "I can do anything if I really put my mind to it" and take from their advice what you can use. If your dream job is to work for Sony go for it, you can always contact them directly. That said, you should still ask yourself if there's any truth in some of your friends' comments.

EuclidJones wrote:

Friends that are constantly putting you down are not, in my opinion, friends.

When "constantly" is really the case I certainly agree, but a true friend puts it straightforward even if it's not what he likes to hear.

Jinuyr

Best advice I can give you is to just follow the path you want to take and don't let anything stop you.

My wife wanted to work in video game design when she was at the time working in IT. Before we started dating, she packed everything up and moved from Las Vegas to Irvine, CA and showed up at Blizzard's front door asking for a job. She took whatever job they could give her and ended up helping the team open World of Warcraft. She took it from there and years later now has the job she wants. People said she couldn't do it and it was stupid to just bet on that chance, but it never stopped her.

Now, her example may be a bit extreme, but in the case that people have given WGU as an example, that is a great first step. You have to find something to challenge yourself to show people that you really want to be somewhere.

Good luck and hope you get there! ^_^

LordQarlyn

You need to **** toxic "associates" (refuse to call them friends - friends don't bash down friends). Find and associate yourself with positive people with can-do attitudes. Science has shown repeatedly that the company of people you associate yourself with has a huge impact on your level of achievement.

In a nutshell - if you don't want to be a loser, don't hang out with losers...

Xcluziv

LordQarlyn wrote: »

You need to **** toxic "associates" (refuse to call them friends - friends don't bash down friends). Find and associate yourself with positive people with can-do attitudes. Science has shown repeatedly that the company of people you associate yourself with has a huge impact on your level of achievement.

In a nutshell - if you don't want to be a loser, don't hang out with losers...

Guilty by associaition is what I say. Associating with like minded individuals and people who have goals is what makes the difference between the people with the 'Can Do' mentality from the people with the 'if only.." mentality. As John Maxwell puts it, Attitude is the Difference Maker"!

LordQarlyn

Xcluziv wrote: »

Guilty by associaition is what I say. Associating with like minded individuals and people who have goals is what makes the difference between the people with the 'Can Do' mentality from the people with the 'if only.." mentality. As John Maxwell puts it, Attitude is the Difference Maker"!

Kudos to that!

Brian Tracy's "Psychology of Achievement" is my source for motivation and inspiration.

Somewhere, I can't remember where now, I read about crab fishers' observation of crabs when caught. Basically, put one crab in a bucket, he can eventually get out. But, put another crab in the bucket with him, they will pull the other back down before one can escape. The metaphor was applied to being with excessively negative people.

MrRyte

Dragonranger wrote: »

For instance, friends say that Im lazy, that school isnt very hard or that I obviously just dont want a job bad enough.
Another thing thats getting to me is my dream job is to work for Sony. I have friends that work there but when I ask what steps I should take to pursue that kind of career they just tell me "whoa u gotta walk before u can run. How about u go get a degree in something before trying to run with the big dogs". Its not like i was asking or job, just how do i get there...
Anyway I feel like giving up and just moving north to be around family. idk what to do. Does anyone else experence this kind of thing?

What EXACTLY is your goal? When you say "pursue that kind of career" what career/field are you trying to get into? As for your friends, I don't know then so I won't pass judgement. But let me ask you this:

Are those friends challenging you and encouraging you to better yourself?

You may need to seek out others that have the same interests as you so that you don't feel so lonely. And no matter what; always remind yourself that you're planting seeds for a better future.

FWIW-
Show me who your friends are; I'll tell you who you are.
Show me what your friends do and I'll tell you what you'll be doing.

chrisone

These friends sound like they believe you are incapable of learning the material. I had people like that at one of my previous jobs that thought no one in the world can learn the technical skills they had at the time. I look back at them and LOL , i know way more than they did at that time. All it takes is time , dedication, practice, and preparation. Those are the 4 key elements to accomplishing anything in life.

Life moves on just like you will, when you are done studying you will most likely lose that crazy idea/dream of working for sony. Sony is not the best company in the world to work for. You will probably land something better. Dont limit yourself to the little world you live in now with the people or "friends" that work at sony. always think bigger.

N2IT

LordQarlyn wrote: »

Kudos to that!

Brian Tracy's "Psychology of Achievement" is my source for motivation and inspiration.

Somewhere, I can't remember where now, I read about crab fishers' observation of crabs when caught. Basically, put one crab in a bucket, he can eventually get out. But, put another crab in the bucket with him, they will pull the other back down before one can escape. The metaphor was applied to being with excessively negative people.

I love Brian Tracy. I love the study of the Harvard MBA graduates from 1990-2000. The ones who wrote their goals down made 10x as much as the other graduates. It was a interesting statistic.

impz

I love it whenever some people tell me or imply that "I can't do it". I draw alot of motivation from the negativity to excel in order to prove them wrong. In my opinion you should differentiate those so called friends of yours with acquaintances. Of course that's not to say that all people who put you down aren't friends because sometimes, they do this because they believe in negative reinforcement. Nonetheless, you should just smile at them, use the negativity as one of your driving forces or motivational factors to excel in whatever your endeavors are. Who knows, maybe in a few years time you might be in Sony being addressed by those so called "friends" of yours as a their superior.

chrisone

You know what i say to shut people up like that?

"I feel confident in my abilities to stick with it and give 100% until the skills are mastered"

if they follow up with another negative line like "well it will be hard"

you follow up with the same thing and with even more egocentric confidence and say " naw i am positive if i dedicate enough time and study hard it is easily obtainable. This isnt rocket science."

The people that usually give you negative feedback have nothing to say , they stay stumped and usually congratulate your enthusiasm towards your goals.

now get off this thread and get to the studying homeboy!

LCA

My advice is:

Don't give negative people free rent space inside your head.

Webmaster

LCA wrote: »

My advice is:

Don't give negative people free rent space inside your head.

Well said, deserving of bold and large font

Dragonranger

Got an Interview with Sony!
Wow didnt expect to get so many replies! Well thank you all for your responses. Before answering anything at all I'd like to say I received a call today from a staffing agency that is hiring on behalf of Sony. I have an interview tomorrow at Sony in Sorrento Valley for a Game Test Analyst position. Im very psyched! While not the position I want long term I see it as a way to get my foot in the door! Now I have to prepare!
A couple responses
-Id say only 3 ppl really challenge me to do better. I feel like everyone else kinda just assumes Im incapable.
- As i've said I have a few friends that work for Sony as QA engineers and I'd like to do something like that, my friends all do pretty well and are happy to work at sony. But I've also considered moving my educational goals toward doing something related to IT security.

jamesp1983

LordQarlyn wrote: »

You need to **** toxic "associates" (refuse to call them friends - friends don't bash down friends). Find and associate yourself with positive people with can-do attitudes. Science has shown repeatedly that the company of people you associate yourself with has a huge impact on your level of achievement.

In a nutshell - if you don't want to be a loser, don't hang out with losers...

Those are extremely true words. Don't let anyone hold you back. Prove them wrong. It sounds like they are intimidated by you.

LoMo

Hope you land the gig man, do your best.

hackman2007

Dragonranger wrote: »

Got an Interview with Sony!
Wow didnt expect to get so many replies! Well thank you all for your responses. Before answering anything at all I'd like to say I received a call today from a staffing agency that is hiring on behalf of Sony. I have an interview tomorrow at Sony in Sorrento Valley for a Game Test Analyst position. Im very psyched! While not the position I want long term I see it as a way to get my foot in the door! Now I have to prepare!
A couple responses
-Id say only 3 ppl really challenge me to do better. I feel like everyone else kinda just assumes Im incapable.
- As i've said I have a few friends that work for Sony as QA engineers and I'd like to do something like that, my friends all do pretty well and are happy to work at sony. But I've also considered moving my educational goals toward doing something related to IT security.

Congrats!

In regards to the position you are applying for, keep in mind you have to start at the bottom, typically in a place where you don't want. You can only move up.

You might take a quick look at the interview questions on Glassdoor if you are a bit nervous as to the type of questions they ask. But be sure it's just a quick look, don't focus too much on the questions.

odysseyelite

Congrats on the call. Like the others have said get rid of the people that are putting you down. Surround yourself with other "go getters" and you will find youself in much better place. Its interesting, at my last place my friend was doing his certs which got me back in the game. Even though we were doing different ones, there was a underlying motiviation by both of us. We would come in the next day and ask how each studying was going.

People who tend to put down others like that tend to be covering up for their own mishappenings or lack of motivation to do it themselves.

Turgon

Dragonranger wrote: »

So Im feeling a bit run down. Im only partially employed atm I have occasional construction jobs. Looking for work but cant find anything steady. Im a full time student pursing a Associates in Electronics and working toward an A+ cert. But keep experiencing negativity from friends.
For instance, friends say that Im lazy, that school isnt very hard or that I obviously just dont want a job bad enough.
Another thing thats getting to me is my dream job is to work for Sony. I have friends that work there but when I ask what steps I should take to pursue that kind of career they just tell me "whoa u gotta walk before u can run. How about u go get a degree in something before trying to run with the big dogs". Its not like i was asking or job, just how do i get there...
Anyway I feel like giving up and just moving north to be around family. idk what to do. Does anyone else experence this kind of thing?

I have seen some of the responses to your post. In my opinion you choose whatever friends you want to have. If their values are different than yours then that's just fine. Im rather skeptical of this 'surrounding yourself with positive friends approach'. Whatever friends they are they are yours to choose. You should not choose your friends or jettison your friends simply to further your career prospects. How far you go in life is largely down to yourself.

LordQarlyn

Turgon wrote: »

I have seen some of the responses to your post. In my opinion you choose whatever friends you want to have. If their values are different than yours then that's just fine. Im rather skeptical of this 'surrounding yourself with positive friends approach'. Whatever friends they are they are yours to choose. You should not choose your friends or jettison your friends simply to further your career prospects. How far you go in life is largely down to yourself.

But we're not talking about "values", we're talking about attitude. Having different values is one thing, but being around people who constantly complain, whine about 'life being unfair', try to knock down those who want to make something of their lives, and overall have negative views on life is a whole other matter.
Like it or not, fair or not, accurate or not, we are very often judged by the company we keep and for better or for worse, who we choose to associate with and keep for friends does influence our attitudes.

But like you said, we are free to choose our friends, I just happen to prefer to have ambitious, uplifting people with positive attitudes for my friends, that's all.

Turgon

LordQarlyn wrote: »

But we're not talking about "values", we're talking about attitude. Having different values is one thing, but being around people who constantly complain, whine about 'life being unfair', try to knock down those who want to make something of their lives, and overall have negative views on life is a whole other matter.
Like it or not, fair or not, accurate or not, we are very often judged by the company we keep and for better or for worse, who we choose to associate with and keep for friends does influence our attitudes.

But like you said, we are free to choose our friends, I just happen to prefer to have ambitious, uplifting people with positive attitudes for my friends, that's all.

You should not spend your whole life worried about other peoples opinions about you based on things like the company you keep. Just because someone has a disagreeable attitude does not preclude them from being a valuable friend, neither should it preclude you from offering them friendship. Chosing friends simply on the grounds of attitude is understandable but a little limiting. If you have a friend who doesn't understand your goals to the extent that you feel he is running you down because he lacks similar ambition then you simply have a word with them about that or agree to disagree. Lots of people have different outlooks on life. Having like minded people around you is good but there is also room for having friends who have a completely different view on the things that matter to you. They simply have a different outlook. You don't necessarily need to switch crowds to be a success in life.

MrRyte

Turgon wrote: »

You should not spend your whole life worried about other peoples opinions about you based on things like the company you keep. Just because someone has a disagreeable attitude does not preclude them from being a valuable friend, neither should it preclude you from offering them friendship. Chosing friends simply on the grounds of attitude is understandable but a little limiting. If you have a friend who doesn't understand your goals to the extent that you feel he is running you down because he lacks similar ambition then you simply have a word with them about that or agree to disagree. Lots of people have different outlooks on life. Having like minded people around you is good but there is also room for having friends who have a completely different view on the things that matter to you. They simply have a different outlook. You don't necessarily need to switch crowds to be a success in life.

You're right; you shouldn't have to worry about your friend's opinions nor disown them because they have a different outlook on life. But if that "friend" is repeatedly putting you down, pulling you down, holding you back and is more of a hinderance to your goals then how much of a "friend" are they? I cut ties with this one guy I used to hang with and now he's going around telling people that I'm not a true friend and that I don't have what it takes to be a network or systems admin (....and he still can't figure out why I choose not to be his friend any longer....

)

You may not have to go to this extreme; but I'm sure there are still some people you know that choose not to associate with too much not because they're think/act/live different; but because they may end up being more of a burden than blessing.

LordQarlyn

Turgon wrote: »

You should not spend your whole life worried about other peoples opinions about you based on things like the company you keep. Just because someone has a disagreeable attitude does not preclude them from being a valuable friend, neither should it preclude you from offering them friendship. Chosing friends simply on the grounds of attitude is understandable but a little limiting. If you have a friend who doesn't understand your goals to the extent that you feel he is running you down because he lacks similar ambition then you simply have a word with them about that or agree to disagree. Lots of people have different outlooks on life. Having like minded people around you is good but there is also room for having friends who have a completely different view on the things that matter to you. They simply have a different outlook. You don't necessarily need to switch crowds to be a success in life.

Well, I differentiate between one's view, and one's attitude.

For instance, one friend of mine is in the financial field. His outlook on life, his views, especially his religious and political views (he's a Jewish accountant), goals, ambitions, dreams are very different than mine. But, he is an uplifter, but real about it. Whether one wants to lose weight, get a degree or change fields, he always has something encouraging to say. Likewise, I have friends from virtually all different walks of life; but the majority of them tend towards having a positive attitude.

But, like you said, we have different perspectives on this and that's fine. You must do what you feel is right in your heart, likewise, I do the same.

Still, I really wonder if Gates and Ellison would have made it big, if they kept around all the people who constantly told them "you can't do it!" "why even bother" "you'll never succeed". Just saying...

Turgon

LordQarlyn wrote: »

Well, I differentiate between one's view, and one's attitude.

For instance, one friend of mine is in the financial field. His outlook on life, his views, especially his religious and political views (he's a Jewish accountant), goals, ambitions, dreams are very different than mine. But, he is an uplifter, but real about it. Whether one wants to lose weight, get a degree or change fields, he always has something encouraging to say. Likewise, I have friends from virtually all different walks of life; but the majority of them tend towards having a positive attitude.

But, like you said, we have different perspectives on this and that's fine. You must do what you feel is right in your heart, likewise, I do the same.

Still, I really wonder if Gates and Ellison would have made it big, if they kept around all the people who constantly told them "you can't do it!" "why even bother" "you'll never succeed". Just saying...

Yes I know what you mean.

Dragonranger

Ok had my interview at sony yesterday. I was a bit nervous at the beginning of the interview. The interviewer was a really nice laid back guy. Asked me mostly about my previous work experience at a LAN center, what I thought a game tester did, What kind of technical work I did at the LAN center. Why I was looking to get outta construction and so forth.
I filled out an app before going into the interview and after the interview they had me fill out more paper work like a W2, a background consent form and so forth. I was then told I had to attend a 3 day training class but a class has not been scheduled yet because they just finished 1 a day or 2 ago. The class is a crash course in game testing and its pass or not hired. So I essentially I do the class and pass then Im hired. Heres hoping they call soon!

Ryan82

Sounds promising, congrats!