Please critique my latest resume

I've attached my resume in pdf format in that hopes that other member will critique what I've written and help me improve it, in order to improve my chances of finding better quality IT work.

thanks

santized resume for techexams.pdf

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Comments

Ismaeljrp

I'd recommend changing the Objective at the top, for a summary. A Short description of yourself as an IT pro, 3 sentences or so. The objective is always inferred based on the job you are applying/submitting your resume for.

Essendon

Yep, change the Objective to a Summary. 2-3 sentences, tops. You appear to have decent experience, I don't see the need to have a Technical Proficiency section at all. Do you realize it's taking up about 33% of 2 pages? You have listed everything under the sun under Hardware, but I don't actually (atleast not clearly) see any mention in the Experience area. You are much better served by incorporating your skills into the Experience section. You'll free up valuable real estate and actually show the interviewer you have actual experience and didn't pull words out of thin air. Not saying you have, just telling you what the potential interviewer would like to see.

JockVSJock

Essendon wrote: »

Yep, change the Objective to a Summary. 2-3 sentences, tops. You appear to have decent experience

I'm actually getting calls because of what I have listed under technical experience. I'm not sure if I want to change this or not

As for Summary. My employment history has been a mess, no fault of my own. I've worked too many dead end IT help desk jobs with no chance for advancement, laid off, companies that have closed their doors, and short term contract jobs.

I've also switched from business analysis jobs back to IT tech jobs because I don't care for business analysis work.

So, I'm not so sure that the summary will work better then the objective.

JockVSJock

Want to say this.

My goal with my resume is to land a sys admin, network admin or info sec job.

instant000

I know what a 25N is, but you really need to translate that Nodal Network Systems Operator-Maintainer Team Leader to something civilians can understand.

Try this instead: Nodal Network Systems Operator-Maintainer Team Leader (Lead Network Engineer)
Or even just this: Lead Network Engineer

I'm trying to go through and civlian-ize my own job titles. Information Systems Operator-Analyst, for example, really doesn't mean much of anything (That's an example from my own resume.)

Also, I'm trying to clarify, did you get this dual degree from Nebraska:
ISQA - Graduate Program - Dual MBA - MS in MIS Program

^^ Requires 57 hours of course work!

If so, you're not quite communicating that on your resume, as an MIS w/ MBA concentration is confusing, when you actually have two degrees. And if you do have two graduate degrees, you may need to lead with that.

And another thing, I consider your education one of the stronger points in your resume, but you buried it at the very bottom of the thing. I would recommend getting it on your front page somehow.

I didn't know you were at Riley, I was just by there in July/August, could have hooked up to shoot the breeze.

Since you're trying to transition out of the service, you might want to check out the "Veteran Mentor Network" over on LinkedIn.com.

One nitpick: Microsoft MBSA is a little redundant, just like CAC card ... *mutters*.

Also, feel free to contact me. I enjoy assisting other vets!

Hope this helps!

olaHalo

Id put that Masters Degree right on top.

I wouldnt want that to be skimmed over or lost at the bottom of the second page.

instant000

If I had your background, my resume top line would be this:

Jock V. Jock, MBA, MS
Experienced Network Engineer

I don't know when you ETS, but with your extensive field experience as a 25N, you might want to look at CCNA/CCNP by the time you're out.

Another thing is that you didn't mention anything about routing/switching/VoIP protocols (though you mention plenty of hardware)

Heck, with all you mention, you didn't even include TCP/IP or OSI model (most include those in the laundry list, for whatever reason).

Hope this helps.

JockVSJock

instant000 wrote: »

And another thing, I consider your education one of the stronger points in your resume, but you buried it at the very bottom of the thing. I would recommend getting it on your front page somehow.

The reason for this is that no one seems to care that I have college degrees. Especially when I'm applying for sys admin/network admin and infosec jobs.

joeypants05

I'd like to make a few recommendations as your resume looks a lot like my original resume when I got out of the Army (25s) a few years ago.

I'd leave the technical proficiencies section but aggregate some things a bit by saying things like Cisco Integrated Service Routers (ISR), Cisco Switches, etc. I'd do this because Cisco routers and switches and fairly homogenous with exception to the bigger specialized platforms (7200,7500 routers, 6500 switches). I'd also aggregate anti virus and anything else that you think will not obscure what you've worked with.

I'd put a summery section at the top and embed a lot of key details in it such as security clearance, degrees, a 1000ft view of your experience and skills that you think make you stand out.

Under each job you've held I'd put in a short summary of what you did and then on a bulleted list have something along the lines of key achievements or noteworthy accomplishments. I think this would help with the military experience as it would somewhat translate your day to day job and also highlight achievements you made that were above and beyond your actual MOS.

Personally I'd say to try and land a job with a government contractor or somewhere that will use your clearance. This will keep your clearance active and usually gets you more money. I'd look at all the big government contractors (GD, Harris, Raytheon etc.) to see if they have any jobs that you'd be interested in. Look at all the vendors of systems that you've worked on and see if they have any positions on systems that you've already worked on. For most of these bigger companies it seems like it is best to go onto their website, find a job you're interested in and apply from there. Also if you're willing to be deployed it can be a good stepping stone with the right company and of course some good money. If you do go down the deployed path ensure the company isn't just using you to fulfill a contract and will drop you as soon as you don't want to be deployed or on the day the contract goes away.

JockVSJock

I've come up with a summary section, however since my work experience has been lacking, since I've bounced between help desk and business analysis jobs, I really can't say that I've accomplished anything career-wise.

Summary

Experienced, knowledgeable and motivated information technology professional with over 15 years of experience. Highly trained various soft and technical skill to include: system administration, network administration, information security, documentation, problem identifier and troubleshooting, and management skills. Holds a Masters in Management Information Systems, along with various professional IT certifications and an active DoD Secret Clearance.

JockVSJock

Attachment not found.

Here is an updated version of my resume. I've moved a few things around and tried to cut down on the technical skills part.

2 sanitize resume for techexams.pdf

spiderjericho

I like the name and contact info in the original more, especially with the line divider.

in the summary, change System Administration and Network Administration to System and Network Administration. Remove problem identification.

Create an education section so that doesn't get lost (put your bachelors and masters). Create a certification section too, so that doesn't get lost either.

You could probably cut down some of the technical proficiency to protocols, platforms and technology.

In the work experience, quantify more like solved this many trouble tickets, managed this many devices, rewrote the standard operating procedures, improved process/efficiency by this % and managed, mentore and trained X number of soldiers. Imagine if it were your counseling or NCOER. If you got awards, annotate it at each duty station or job position.

Remove the volunteer and professional education sections (which will give more room for education and certs.

EdTheLad

"Highly trained in technical and soft skills" which implies soft skills arn't technical ? What are soft skills?
I would remove the technical Contractor position from your exp, its only 1 or 2 months and it doesn't add anything to your resume.
Also drop the Volunteer Exp and Professional Org, as potential employer this means nothing to me.

Essendon

Yep in addition to what the other guys said, I'd:

- Trim the Summary. 2-3 sentences are more than enough
- Club the Education and Certs together. Your certs get kind of lost in the Technical Skills section. Besides, are Certs = skills? I dont think so.
- Try to incorporate your "Skills" into the actual experience so the person looking at this resume knows what you did the vCenter/Sharepoint etc
- Recognized for excellent customer service by co-workers... Did they put garlands on you? How were you recognized? Got a bonus? Got great positive feedback?
- Your tenses are all over the shop too. Somewhere you are using the past tense and other place the present tense is more prevalent.
- Decrease the margins and utilize the resultant real estate.

I am of the view that if you cant spend 10 minutes talking about a listed "Skill" I wouldnt put it here. Can you talk about all of this for 10 minutes? Listed everything in there, your opening yourself up to a whole gamut of questions. It may work out for you or maybe it wont.

Perhaps you realize this - but you have about 30 seconds (max) to impress the prospective employer. You want them to pick up the phone to bring you in for a face-to-face. Give them facts/figures. I like how you have - Resolved 95% calls with escalation etc. That's what they want to see. They want to see how you'd bring value to their team.

This said, your resume is getting better. Keep at it, you are getting there.

JockVSJock

Again, thanks everyone for the feedback, here are the changes that I've made:

-Trimmed down the summary as recommended

-Combined the certs with education as recommended

-Updated the tenses to past tense as recommended

-Tried to quantify results such as help desk calls as best as possible

I changed all of 'troubleshooting' to 'resolved' seems to sound better to me.

So far, I'm only getting a few calls for help desk and NOC jobs, which are the jobs that I don't want.

tech exams scrubbed resume v3.pdf