Need expert advice on Resume Critique...Please look!

Armymanis1

What do you guys think of my resume

MatthewMcDonaldResume.pdf

Kinet1c

A couple of things:

• Remove the description of the company, everybody should know (even me from a foreign country ) who Staples/Nintendo/Starbucks are.
• Go in to more detail about the technology you supported - was it windows/mac? Xp/7/Snow leopard? VNC/GoToAssist? Ticketing system? You should have 5-10 lines on each job outlining your involvement with support as well as other soft skills exercised whilst there.
• Organise your jobs with the most recent up top and work backwards.
• Your initial paragraph is great but it's a wall of text, break it down in to bullet points.. like I've done here

johnbear123

In a word: Boring

Looks like every other resume out there. Spice it up, use a nicer template with some pastel colors or something.

What position are you applying for? Get the job description then tailor your resume to fit.

Your technical skills section is pretty vague.. troubleshooting hardware and software? And then.. remote troubleshooting? What kind of troubleshooting, hardware, software etc.

Mentioning microsoft office is a thing of the past, along with typing words per minutes, etc. Leave that out.

Also, a six month stint as a cashier at Staples is pretty unimpressive. Would you hire someone who can't seem to hold down a job at a minimum wage facility?

My suggestion: Spend a couple of days working on your resume for and tailor it to whatever job you are applying for.

Armymanis1

It is in chronological order. Staples was the last job I held. I quit that job because I can only last in retail 7 months without getting bored. I hate retail. Should I leave it out? I will have to explain what i have been doing for the past year since I left the Help Desk Environment which would be school. Would people go for that?

Armymanis1

So Here is the updated one. This is exactly what I did. I also took out the Staples job. Would that be best if I did that and just said I was working on school after?

johnbear123

A resume is not a piece of paper with all of your previous job experience. A resume is a sale pitch. You are trying to sell yourself as the best applicant for the job.

If your job history is spotty, prepare a functional resume instead. At least your employer wont see your one month long employment at Nintendo, six months at Starbucks, etc. Just google different types of resumes and be sure to highlight your skills and not past employment locations. Flesh them out and be detailed.

When someone asks for a resume, take some time to prepare it. You always have preparation on your side.

Armymanis1

I just updated it on post #5. Please let me know if its any better. I didn't know they wanted a lot of detail. Since I took out my staples job should I just explain to them that I was working on my bachelors degree?

pinkydapimp

This resume isnt very good.

1. Your summary at the top is a bit repetitive and doesnt tell me all that much about what differentiates you from others. simplify it.

2. You need more stuff in your technical skills area. resumes need lots of keywords. Beef it up. Have 5 sections: Certifications, Operating Systems, Software, hardware, Networking. And list everything you have experience with. You know Office? put it on there. Dont have enough to put in there? Start playing with stuff on your own to gain those skills.

3. Check your spelling. You spell something wrong, and i think your lazy. not even going to interview you. You spelled HIPAA wrong. Cmon.

4. Put your technical skills at the top. Most folks are only going to look at the top 1/3rd of your resume. so you better have stuff there that grabs them.

5. Order the jobs chronologically. Someone mentioned that before and it still isnt fixed.

6. Make sure your resume is peppered with keywords from job descriptions of jobs you want. You also want words that show how you can help the company. Did you manage any projects? Create a process? Efficiently do something? get that stuff in there.

That would be a good start.

Armymanis1

Okay so here is the updated one. I am having trouble with the key words, but maybe its better then my previous ones?

pinkydapimp

see this: http://www.lorainccc.edu/NR/rdonlyres/B66F95F9-26F5-4326-98C4-4E8711255D88/1448/SummaryStatementsforexperienceresumeGeneral.pdf

Note the summary in there that has the bullets below with "areas of expertise" do that with your summary area. Also change administrative tools to software and beef that up. You cant think of any other software that you have troubleshooted? Go to indeed and look at job descriptions for ideas of other keywords to include.

Armymanis1

Okay so this is what i have so far now. I know my spelling and punctuation can still need work.

Thank you for all the help guys! I am really learning a lot when drafting my resume.

cyberguypr

You need to stop adding/removing stuff right now. If you are going for a professional summary either commit to it or scrap it. Don't go half way. Take a break, peruse other threads here, look at sample resumes online, preferably from places like universities as pinkydapimp listed above, and then take another shot.

A few random things:
- Office Communicator died with 2007. From 2010 on it became Lync
- The CompTIA number is an ID, not a license
- Tons of stuff written incorrectly: "Used the remedy ticketing", "Net gear", "Auto Task", "Share Point", "Service Now", etc.

pinkydapimp

its getting better. try this for your summary:

"A highly motivated team member, dedicated to efficiently and thoroughly resolving technical issues. Proven success working in Healthcare and traditional environments resolving a wide array of issues and prioritizing requests." Maybe add one more thing to that.

Armymanis1

Instead of critiquing stuff for my cyberguypr and saying crappy stuff about my resume why don you fix my stuff written incorrectly for me. Its not helping.

Danielm7

Others have touched on a number of points that are still there in the most updated version. There are misspellings, that alone is enough to make someone trash it. I kind of get lost in the summary, I just keep thinking "technical issues, technical issues, technical issues"

Look at each section under each job and think how you can make it more descriptive/interesting/exciting. For example, Nintendo, which is out of order, has 1 line under it. Can you talk about call volume there? There has to be more than 1 line to mention, even if it was only a month. Oh, and "Net gear" isn't a router.

Starbucks, "50-100" users, why the 50? Was it ever more than 100, if so you can list "Over 100"

Are you expecting to graduate in 2015 or are you a time traveler?

Also, list the A+ for sure, but I don't think anyone needs your license number or exam date.

I'm in no way an expert in resumes but you have a good bit of cleanup on this one to get it better shape.

Edit, I had this open for awhile, there have been revisions since, some of this might not be accurate now.

johnbear123

It actually looks a lot better than it did at first, still needs some charm though.

There are a ton of free and attractive templates online, just use the google

Good luck.

Armymanis1

pinkydapimp wrote: »

its getting better. try this for your summary:

"A highly motivated team member, dedicated to efficiently and thoroughly resolving technical issues. Proven success working in Healthcare and traditional environments resolving a wide array of issues and prioritizing requests." Maybe add one more thing to that.

Thanks pinkdapimp for helping and not totally bashing my resume to crap. I changed the office communicator to Lync 2013. I know my spelling needs work. but I don't want to say I every sentence either so that's why i worded it like I did.

pinkydapimp

Armymanis1 wrote: »

Instead of critiquing stuff for my cyberguypr and saying crappy stuff about my resume why don you fix my stuff written incorrectly for me. Its not helping.

Cyberguypr gave you great advice. and to be honest, he is right. Creating a great resume takes work. we arent going to do it for you. a few of us gave you great advice. now its up to you to take some time, fix up your resume, proofread it, correct all the mistakes and then if you want additional feedback we will give it. But if you arent going to take the time to do it, you arent going to get the jobs you want.

Armymanis1

Here's the most recent updated version. I know spelling still can use work.

Armymanis1

pinkydapimp wrote: »

Cyberguypr gave you great advice. and to be honest, he is right. Creating a great resume takes work. we arent going to do it for you. a few of us gave you great advice. now its up to you to take some time, fix up your resume, proofread it, correct all the mistakes and then if you want additional feedback we will give it. But if you arent going to take the time to do it, you arent going to get the jobs you want.

Sorry for getting mad, but I just felt really attacked when he said that and i read it like he got super mad. I am still looking for additional feedback but instead of telling me my spelling is wrong over and over again please tell me how to fix it. I appreciate all the help so far.

Armymanis1

I don't know what certain words are suppose to look like. Is there a possible resource I can use to see what they look like?

Danielm7

Armymanis1 wrote: »

I am still looking for additional feedback but instead of telling me my spelling is wrong over and over again please tell me how to fix it.

I think that is exactly the "now its up to you to take some time, fix up your resume, proofread it, correct all the mistakes" part that pinkydapimp was referring to. You were given a lot of great advice and the resume is already looking a lot better, but you shouldn't need other people to point out every spelling mistake for you, it's part of the proofreading process. This is one of the most helpful forums I've ever been a part of but they aren't a professional resume service where you drop it off and come back to a corrected document.

cyberguypr

Wait what? Didn't you come here for critique? That is exactly what you are getting; an objective analysis of the numerous flaws your resume presents. The way it is suggest you haven't done much research into how to write an effective and professional resume. I've seen this hundreds of time where people try to rush to polish their resume and oversee basic things such as spelling and capitalization. That is why I recommended stopping, taking a break, researching, and then taking a fresh look.

I've interviewed and hired many. Also have seen hundreds of resumes come across my desk and inbox. You learn to discern the good and bad ones quickly. If yours ever came across my inbox in would be deleted immediately. This is not personal as I don't know you. It is an objective observation that your resume screams lack of attention to detail. That is the sole reason why you are getting the feedback you are getting.

I provide advice on what I see. If you want to take it fine. If not, also fine. When I critique my sole goal is to make everyone who asks for a critique get closer to their next job.

Edit: forgot to say that although I've never heard of ServiceNow or Autotask I had a strong feeling the space didn't belong (quick googling confirmed it). You've worked with them so you should now better. That is attention to detail.

Armymanis1

Oh sorry I didn't know you actually hired people. My bad. I looked up AutoTask and ServiceNow and they do go together. So what do you suggest I do about my sentences then for what I have worked with? Here's an updated Resume now.