Social skills in IT. Not quite 0 to hero? replies welcomed

Cerebro

Hi all,

I will keep my back story brief and to the point. The main outcome is to hear positive stories or things/tips that helped you, as moaning is a road to nowhere...although it can help at times!

Back story:

-In a 1st/2nd line support engineer role.

-I have been pushed down the pecking order by someone who started a few weeks after me. Technically he has made some mistakes, which have not been brought up. When I have made mistakes it has been examined under the microscope and the issues brought up.

-I have deputized for the senior engineer, but this role of deputizing has been given to the other person. At first my manager told me that he wants everyone to be able to deputize, but this person is being groomed for the role.

-I have a few weeks to prove myself, hence me not bringing up any of his glaring mistakes. And if I do so anyway, would show me as not a team player.

-I am more proficient technically, but he has a knack of "schmoozing". If I try to up my game, I feel like I overdoing it and becoming a caricature of an extrovert.

Any replies welcomed

iBrokeIT

Time to dust off the resume and find a place that will value your skill set more than your current employer...

Jon_Cisco

I don't have a good answer for your situation but I do have an opinion about being overlooked sidestepped by a boss.

Bosses don't like to admit they were wrong very often. If she decided she did not want to give yo the responsibility for any reason it is unlikely to change in the future.

This is not true in all situations but I am comfortable suggesting it as a starting point and then adding your own mitigating circumstances to the situation. You will have to decide if the opportunity for growth will be available again in an acceptable time frame.

Good Luck!

srabiee

I've been in a similar situation and I wholeheartedly agree, it's time to polish the resume and move on. You need to look after YOUR best interests, and it sounds like it's not going to happen at your current company.

Good luck.

ElementaryOS

It sounds like you have to improve your social skills. If this happens at this job, it may happen at the next job too.

There are lots of good books out there on this topic. I'm working on this myself right now.

Cerebro

Thanks for the replies I am actually loosing sleep over this. I do not think I am socially awkward as I make friends and able to speak to anyone. However something at work happened the other day, it made me aware that I need to take stock and improve.

I made a witty comment which made everyone laugh, to which my colleague said "watch out for the quiet ones"....dangit! I am being thought of the quiet one, even though I am consistently closing a high number of tickets and interacting with everyone.

I am not a quitter and want to turn this perception around ASAP. Here is a good ted talk about body language.

Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are | Talk Video | TED.com

Beowolfj

My Two cents,


give this new comer your support, and enough rope to hang himself with. It sounds like him and those that think him so highly capable and worthy of overlooking you has tunnel vision. He belives he is better than you, and appearently your boss belives he is better than you, so let him prove it. While you are standing in his shadow, see what oportunities present themselves you can pick up a few pointers on. I'm not saying become his friend, just become a sponge and soak up any bit of information that seams relivant. Just keep in mind, when he does make those mistakes, you don't know enough to correct him, but if asked to fix it, do it to the best of your ability.

ElementaryOS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADOGZ9hzf44

IIIMaster

Stop beating around the bush and speak to your manager about your role and unfair scrunity. You can not let your bosses stomp on you without good reason. You must demand your respect and if your not getting it you may have to look else where.
I know when i first started working I was view as not sociable. But in reality i was swamp learning my new job and was walking on egg shells. But heck once i settle down I greet everyone by name. Even guys i know longer work with after my promotion. I talk to my coworkers all the time, wether its sports, support tickets or about my half train clients. The people at your job must view you a certain way if they call you quiet. I know you said you take on the more tickets than anyone. But remember never work too hard and a job is not always about work.

philz1982

Cerebro wrote: »

Thanks for the replies I am actually loosing sleep over this. I do not think I am socially awkward as I make friends and able to speak to anyone. However something at work happened the other day, it made me aware that I need to take stock and improve.

I made a witty comment which made everyone laugh, to which my colleague said "watch out for the quiet ones"....dangit! I am being thought of the quiet one, even though I am consistently closing a high number of tickets and interacting with everyone.

I am not a quitter and want to turn this perception around ASAP. Here is a good ted talk about body language.

Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are | Talk Video | TED.com

Dude, your over-thinking it. As long as your not an ass and you try to help people you'll be fine. Just keep your head on a swivel and watch out for people who will try to take advantage of you. Social skills are overrated, you can be quiet or obnoxious or in between the point is to be comfortable being you. Now if your a pompous ass then maybe you do need help... After all life is not a social club. Help people, make sure to not give away the farm, and be able to look back at your dealings with respect...

Or you could just go memorize How to Win Friends and Influence People....