Critique me (resume and cover letter review)

speednetworkspeednetwork Member Posts: 13 ■■■□□□□□□□
This was professionally written and it seems to contain a few irregularities in the formatting. I would also like to know if everything else is ok before I send it out.

Thank you in advance.

Comments

  • rsuttonrsutton Member Posts: 1,029 ■■■■■□□□□□
    I look at hundreds of resumes every week and there are a few things that make some resumes stand out. My suggestions for improving your resume are:
    -Your cover letter is boring and robotic. I'd rather see a personally written letter instead of something that is clearly a canned CV. I think it's good when candidates point out a few specific things from the job posting that interests them and maybe explain why they are a good fit, given those specifics.
    -Remove the buzzwords, everyone uses them, and most hiring managers ignore anything written in that language. Examples of these words: "diverse clients", "fast paced environment", "possess demonstrated ability" etc.
    -Your second bullet point in the experience section is missing the company name. I assume this was also at Target, but you should clarify that by adding Target as the company name on this bullet point.

    All in all, I really don't care for the wording in your resume. It is too canned and does not jump out at me.
  • speednetworkspeednetwork Member Posts: 13 ■■■□□□□□□□
    rsutton wrote: »
    I look at hundreds of resumes every week and there are a few things that make some resumes stand out. My suggestions for improving your resume are:
    -Your cover letter is boring and robotic. I'd rather see a personally written letter instead of something that is clearly a canned CV. I think it's good when candidates point out a few specific things from the job posting that interests them and maybe explain why they are a good fit, given those specifics.
    -Remove the buzzwords, everyone uses them, and most hiring managers ignore anything written in that language. Examples of these words: "diverse clients", "fast paced environment", "possess demonstrated ability" etc.
    -Your second bullet point in the experience section is missing the company name. I assume this was also at Target, but you should clarify that by adding Target as the company name on this bullet point.

    All in all, I really don't care for the wording in your resume. It is too canned and does not jump out at me.

    @rsutton
    It is with great interest that I am forwarding my resume for consideration as a Desktop Support Professional within your organization. Enclosed is my resume outlining nine years of extensive customer service work, as well as applicable technical knowledge, training, and hands-on experience. In addition to applied experience, I have been driven to stay abreast on the latest technology and troubleshooting methods.

    As a clear and confident communicator, I boost customer loyalty and encourage sales/satisfaction by building mutually beneficial relationships through honest and unbiased recommendations. In my roles at Best Buy and Target, as well as within my independent contracting experience, I have helped customers to meet their goals by providing a wide range of solutions in person and in remote settings while being efficient and meeting cutoff points.

    In addition to a COMPTIA Network+ Certification and an Associate of Arts in Liberal Arts, I possess knowledge of networking, troubleshooting hardware and software for both PC and Mac computers. Having been formally acknowledged for my hard work, ability to learn promptly, as wells as my dedication to exceeding set objectives.

    I look forward to meeting with you to discuss the opportunity and my qualifications in detail. Please contact me at the phone number or e-mail address provided below. Thank you for your kind consideration.
  • binarysoulbinarysoul Member Posts: 993
    For your cover letter explain how your prior knowledge/skills apply to position you're applying for. Some hiring managers care more about how your specific skills help with the position than if you just have general skills.
  • speednetworkspeednetwork Member Posts: 13 ■■■□□□□□□□
    Cover letter:
    It is with great interest that I am forwarding my resume for consideration as a Desktop Support Professional within your organization. Enclosed is my resume outlining nine years of extensive customer service work, as well as applicable technical knowledge, training, and hands-on experience troubleshooting computers and mobile devices problems such password lockouts, connectivity issues, and walking clients through the problem solving process. In addition to applied experience, I have been driven to stay abreast on the latest computer technology and troubleshooting methods.

    As a clear and confident communicator, I boost customer loyalty and encourage sales/satisfaction by building mutually beneficial relationships through honest and unbiased recommendations. In my roles at Best Buy and Target, as well as within my independent contracting experience, I have helped customers meet their goals by providing a wide range of solutions in person and in remote settings while being efficient and meeting cutoff points.

    In addition to a COMPTIA Network+ Certification and an Associate of Arts in Liberal Arts, I possess knowledge of networking, troubleshooting hardware and software for both PC and Mac platforms. Having been formally acknowledged for my hard work, ability to learn promptly, as wells as my dedication to exceeding set objectives.

    Professional objective:
    Customer-oriented professional with nine years of experience in helping clients find solutions and products that service their needs. Skilled in successfully installing and troubleshooting computers, and mobile devices with a proven ability to enhance and improve existing procedures and practices. An excellent communicator with exceptional technical knowledge and experience. Works well independently, or in a group setting providing all facets of technical support.
Sign In or Register to comment.