resume review

slee335slee335 Posts: 124Member
i need a second opinion on the format. read alot of people like ptilsen's resume template. does my resume look noobish the format and infomation.?

Comments

  • srabieesrabiee Posts: 1,231Member ■■■■■■■□□□
    Your resume should begin with a professional summary. ptilsen's resume is an excellent example of how to write this section. Google is also a good resource on this.

    Regarding the Computer Skills section, instead of listing a bunch of software, technologies, and protocols, you should expand upon this information and explain HOW you are proficient in these skills, especially in a business/enterprise environment. Ideally I would recommend that you incorporate this info into your professional experience, and then drop the skills section altogether.

    Within the professional experience section, each job description should begin with a high-level overview of your daily duties and responsibilities, and then use bullets to highlight special achievements, projects, promotions, etc. Don't rely solely on bullets like this. Again, ptilsen's resume is an excellent example of how to write this.

    The IT Specialist 2005-2010 position is written a lot more thoroughly and with more detail than the other job positions. Ideally you want to write all of your job positions with this much detail. Some of the more recent job descriptions are overly brief and don't give a good impression of your actual accomplishments and special achievements.

    The overall formatting isn't bad, but I would recommend employing ptilsen's template if you really want to give your resume a polished look.

    The certifications section should be listed immediately after the education section. If you have a bachelors degree in IT, consider listing the education section under the professional summary.

    This is an excellent resume guide with example resumes, a huge list of action verbs, sample summaries, etc:

    http://www.filedropper.com/resumeguide

    This thread contains a fantastic example of a properly formatted and written resume (ptilsen's resume):

    Resume time

    Someone recently uploaded this document regarding the "STAR Method" of writing resume content. You may want to take a look at it and see if it helps you.

    http://www.filedropper.com/starmethod
    WGU Progress: Master of Science - Information Technology Management (Start Date: February 1, 2015)
    Completed: LYT2, TFT2, JIT2, MCT2, LZT2, SJT2 (17 CU's)
    Required: FXT2, MAT2, MBT2, C391, C392 (13 CU's)

    Bachelor of Science - Information Technology Network Design & Management (WGU - Completed August 2014)
  • cyberguyprcyberguypr Senior Member Posts: 6,832Mod Mod
    Pay special attention to srabiee's recommendation on the experience section. Right now your experience does NOT pain the picture on how your accomplishments brought tangible value to your employers. This is extremely important and is what will make you stand out from the other zillion resumes out there.

    I also want to add that there are a number of capitalization issues: CompTia, Blackberry, Microsoft communicator, Solarwinds, LogMeIn appers as LOGMEIN andLogmein, etc. Tandberg is missing a letter. Go through again it with a fine-tooth comb. These are the little things that scream lack of attention to detail.
  • slee335slee335 Posts: 124Member
    i had put a objective before. then i read about how that is old style for having objective in a resume. Is the new thing proffesional summary instead of objective? Education i put on the bottom because my degree was economic not IT related . i put the computer skills more for he HR to filter better. i'll try to get more detail on the jobs.i might switch to ptilsen template for something new and fresh. I'll continue to work on this later let you know how it goes. i put the certs on top to try to make it stand out more.thanks for the input.
  • slee335slee335 Posts: 124Member
    all right i here is a draft of my new resume any suggestion would be helpfully. i took alot of stuff like provide VIP support and video conferencing i was trying to just concentrate on the system admin skills and leadership skills. i put the title as system admin even though my old job titles wasn't. my goal is land a sys role. is that ok or should i put IT specialist. any spelling error or mistake please point them out or stuff i don't need or should add.
  • slee335slee335 Posts: 124Member
  • srabieesrabiee Posts: 1,231Member ■■■■■■■□□□
    If your current title is "NOC Engineer," then using a resume title of "Systems Engineer" is ok. Nothing wrong with that.

    In your professional summary within the first sentence, you should mention that you have over 10 years of professional IT experience. That would act to immediately draw some positive attention to yourself and your resume, as that is quite a bit of experience. You could say something like "Accomplished IT professional with over ten years of progressive IT experience..."

    Within the experience section, your dates should be right-aligned on the page.

    On the NOC engineer job, the first sentence "Monitor Critical System" isn't adequate. Write in complete sentences and try to write as academically as possible.

    You usage of past-tense verbiage isn't consistent. Make sure you write everything in the past-tense for consistency. Again, write academically and consistently. This is extremely important. You want to convey to the reader/hiring manager that you are a highly-intelligent individual.

    Here are just some additional random errors that I immediately came across:

    "Monitor Network Health and graph..." See above.

    "Install Cross Connects in the..." why is this capitalized?

    Within the oldest job description, you mixed font types. (Calibri and Times New Roman)

    I'm going to recommend that you go back over this resume very closely for further proofing and editing. It's certainly coming along, but needs more work in those departments.
    WGU Progress: Master of Science - Information Technology Management (Start Date: February 1, 2015)
    Completed: LYT2, TFT2, JIT2, MCT2, LZT2, SJT2 (17 CU's)
    Required: FXT2, MAT2, MBT2, C391, C392 (13 CU's)

    Bachelor of Science - Information Technology Network Design & Management (WGU - Completed August 2014)
  • slee335slee335 Posts: 124Member
    thanks for the feedback. My current title is NOC Engineer. i fixed the dates and aligned it right. i fixed a lot of grammar and spelling problems. My grammar isn't the best. here is the second draft.
  • srabieesrabiee Posts: 1,231Member ■■■■■■■□□□
    "Maintained and monitor critical system..." "monitor" should be past tense and "system" should be plural

    "Support, and transition infrastructure..." should be "Supported and transitioned infrastructure"

    "Provide assistance" provide should be past tense

    Can you print this out and have someone you trust (family member, friend, etc) proofread it for you? I have my fiance and my fiance's sister proofread mine. (they are both in the education field) I think that would help you a lot, as I caught many errors in the first two paragraphs alone.

    You have too many bullets in some of your job descriptions. I would recommend using no more than 7 or 8 bullets per job description. Otherwise they become tedious to read through. Consider combining some bullets, editing out some less important information, or expanding upon your high-level overviews to reduce bullets that way.

    Your resume is really coming along. I think you're almost there. Keep working on it like this and I'm sure it will end up being a polished gem. icon_thumright.gif
    WGU Progress: Master of Science - Information Technology Management (Start Date: February 1, 2015)
    Completed: LYT2, TFT2, JIT2, MCT2, LZT2, SJT2 (17 CU's)
    Required: FXT2, MAT2, MBT2, C391, C392 (13 CU's)

    Bachelor of Science - Information Technology Network Design & Management (WGU - Completed August 2014)
  • slee335slee335 Posts: 124Member
    Okay here is another draft. I found a lot of little mistakes like not putting CompTia next to the A+ and security+. I tried to miminize the bullets and took out some bullets i guess wasn't related to the system administrator. I feel like i'm missing out on key search words. Changed the title to system administrator instead of Engineer. Question should i put pending for MCP server 2012 is that okay? or just remove the pending. also where should i put working knowledge of VMware and power shell should i put that in the cover letter or summary? thanks for the feedback.
  • srabieesrabiee Posts: 1,231Member ■■■■■■■□□□
    I would recommend using the title of System Engineer or NOC Engineer. "Engineer" holds a lot more weight than "Administrator." Furthermore, your current title is "NOC Engineer." I think that one is a no-brainer.

    In your professional summary, swap the 2nd and 3rd sentences. I think the paragraph will read/flow better that way. Try it and see what you think.

    "Microsoft Certified Professional (MCP): Administrating Windows Server 2012 (Pending)"
    what cert is this exactly? link me to it please.

    Regarding your VMware experience, what sort of professional, on-the-job experience do you have?
    WGU Progress: Master of Science - Information Technology Management (Start Date: February 1, 2015)
    Completed: LYT2, TFT2, JIT2, MCT2, LZT2, SJT2 (17 CU's)
    Required: FXT2, MAT2, MBT2, C391, C392 (13 CU's)

    Bachelor of Science - Information Technology Network Design & Management (WGU - Completed August 2014)
  • --chris----chris-- Posts: 1,516Member ■■■■■□□□□□
    Having just finished a few rounds with Srabiee myself, I can add this to the review:

    Spend some time researching the STAR method for bullet points (you kind of already have this in place), then isolate and define with real numbers the impact you have had (this is the hardest part, but really adds meat to your resume).

    STAR Method

    Under certification:
    Cisco Certified Network voice

    I believe that should be Cisco Certified Network Associate: Voice or something similar.


  • slee335slee335 Posts: 124Member
    Thanks the STAR method sound tricky to quantify number in tech a role without BS and getting caught. it looks like its something for finance or sale position.

    ex:saying you improve the knowledge base to improve and increase 20% efficiency for the user. the interviewer would ask how you calculate the 20%.

    it may have improve efficiency but how do you say 20% not 80%. adding that number makes you look better but how could you prove that unless you actually baseline it or something.

    thanks for catching the Cisco mistake i'll change that
  • slee335slee335 Posts: 124Member
    where do you put off the job training? thats not related to your job experience. i wasn't sure where to put it since i removed the technical expertise field.
  • slee335slee335 Posts: 124Member
    here is another revised resume any feedback would be great. i decided to move the cert to the top because it seems to get over look at the bottom from my recent experience.
  • Shoe BoxShoe Box Posts: 118Banned
    I opened your first resume and wrote my comments out before scrolling down to look at your latest version, then I was too lazy to review and re-write my paragraph, so I'll comment on the first one.

    I’d put the Cisco certifications above anything from CompTIA.
    I’d put your job description and dates of employment on the same line as the company name and city / state. Have your employment dates be right-aligned and work towards the center of the line from there.
    This is just something I do, but in each paragraph of job responsibilities, I start with the shortest line at the top and work progressively towards longer lines at the bottom. Seems to flow better and be more readable than long and short lines randomly interspersed amongst each other. Make sure NOTHING is spelled wrong.
    Other than that I think it is ok.
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