Sucky resume HELP!

Cyberscum

Well, I need as many opinions as I can get.

As you can tell I am not very good at writing resumes and really have a hard time getting all I do down on paper in the required space.

If you could take a look at my resume and give me tips and pointers on what I am doing wrong or need to improve on.

Here are the “type” of positions I will be applying for:

https://www.usajobs.gov/GetJob/ViewDetails/396155500
https://www.usajobs.gov/GetJob/ViewDetails/399299700
https://www.usajobs.gov/GetJob/ViewDetails/405493600


P.S. the info on the resume is not mine; it is all filler

Update: Added a more non-government ver as "revised"

-Still working on skills section and being more specific

kiki162

Does a GS 12 spot suck THAT BAD?

Take out the CCAF, and clean up the skills section.

Cyberscum

kiki162 wrote: »

Does a GS 12 spot suck THAT BAD?

Take out the CCAF, and clean up the skills section.

Not at all, but I am always looking to further myself. Thanks for the advice, what should I put in the skills section?

kiki162

Lets back track for a section here. What exactly are you trying to get into? Are you NG/Reserves? Looks that way based on your resume.

You wanna get out of management? LOL....

Take all of the paragraphs that you have and start with bullet statements. Too many run on statements.

CompTIA
Solarwinds ---ok which product(s)?
Mcafee AV - ok client or servers...or something more specific?
HBSS - WTH is that?
SCCM - System Center - which version(s)?
ACAS - WTH is that?
eEye Retina - ???
Office - take that out

Organize all of your certifications in one spot. Take out the 8570 as we can see you are already comp. based on your certs.

Your profile is good but what experience do you have for the private sector when all you have it gov't experience on the resume - take that out.

For your Masters - Expected Graduation Month/Year - it's acceptable to put the month and year that you will graduate. However if you have just started, take that out till you are a year out from actually graduating.

You have to get FAR away with the acronyms, and get more specific as to the tools you have used.

Something to keep in mind when applying for anything on Usajobs. Keep those run on sentences, as the machines that process and filter out your usajobs resume LIKE THAT kinda stuff. If you are applying for public/private sector spots, use bullet statements, but clean up and separate what you have.

Sounds to me like you have been working for "the man" for too long and are looking for a change? If so I don't blame you.

kiki162

You leave some questions too that need answering on the resume...for example.

Ensure organizational compliance with DoD, HIPPA, AF, DISA, FIPS regulations and standards.
---Ok HOW are you ensuring it?

Direct a focus group that provides Data Loss Prevention for 650 workstations usingHBSS/McAfee orchestrator. 150 unauthorized devices and over 50GB of PII data confiscated.
---Ok So are you administering the server, or overseeing and in charge of compliance?

Proficient in utilizing classified files, software/hardware changes and security measures usingthe (network identifier) (classification).
--- Sounds like you are good file sorter/organizer.

How are you administering SCCM, there's multiple areas within it? Are you deploying images to workstations, are you deploying Windows Updates, are you deploying software packages/updates...etc..etc.

The bottom line is you need to clean things up and be able to explain how or what you are doing with these duties that you performed. Some points are good in here, and others tailor to the military/gov't side

Cyberscum

Thanks for the very detailed response.

1. I would like to move to the FL/CA areas and am looking for a 13 spot. I don’t necessarily want to get out of management, just would like to be in another area of the US.

2. I work fulltime for the DoD, but not MIL.

3. As for the certs/skills area I agree I need to clean it up; I will separate into two sections. One thing that I seem to be running into is that once I start adding in the job specific things I do my resume becomes 3, 4, 5 pages long. I have heard to clip down the resume to maybe 2 page max?

4. I work alongside contractors and private sector operations, so I am familiar with both sides of the table when it comes to INFOSEC.

5. Gov work is slow and boring, can’t argue there. I have worked with various sections that are not though and most are located in the CA/FL area. So its not that I want to stop working for the man, maybe just a new capacity.

Thanks for the tips and advice!

Cyberscum

kiki162 wrote: »

You leave some questions too that need answering on the resume...for example.

Ensure organizational compliance with DoD, HIPPA, AF, DISA, FIPS regulations and standards.
---Ok HOW are you ensuring it?

Direct a focus group that provides Data Loss Prevention for 650 workstations usingHBSS/McAfee orchestrator. 150 unauthorized devices and over 50GB of PII data confiscated.
---Ok So are you administering the server, or overseeing and in charge of compliance?

Proficient in utilizing classified files, software/hardware changes and security measures usingthe (network identifier) (classification).
--- Sounds like you are good file sorter/organizer.

How are you administering SCCM, there's multiple areas within it? Are you deploying images to workstations, are you deploying Windows Updates, are you deploying software packages/updates...etc..etc.

The bottom line is you need to clean things up and be able to explain how or what you are doing with these duties that you performed. Some points are good in here, and others tailor to the military/gov't side

The problem is that I do everything that you described and still operate as an ISSM/manager role. How do I get it all on a resume without it being like 4 pages long?

kiki162

Narrow it down, it's not that hard, and then tailor it to the job you are applying. Doesn't have to be 4 pages long. You could in theory remove that 3rd position on your list. Yes to clipping it down to 2 pages, using different fonts and sizes also helps and is doable.

You have the preference, so internal spots won't be that hard for you. I've been through the GS job interview process myself, and it's fairly easy compared to the rest of the world.

http://bit.ly/1Gjip2F

Cyberscum

THX again, Ill make some changes and re-engage.

Eston21

I would leave in the CCAF, especially if you are applying for government jobs. It is an accredited degree.

Nervous Interviewer

The design of the resume is a huge deal. Because the person in HR is looking at resume after resume after resume, and they have zero technical ability. Thus meaning they are going to use "Crtl F" for keywords to sort them into phone interviews or no interviews at all without reading almost anything in the actually resume.

Lucky for you, you can get a big creative here. I agree with Kiki on adding in an extra font and an extra font size. Just one each and add ONE single color to your resume to make it more eye popping. Possible highlight the words of your sections like "Profile", "Skills", "Experience", and the additional section for certificates and color them in. OR you can select main keywords and color them. An example would be the 12 years of experience in X field. Do not go crazy with your coloring here though.

The whole point is to have an awesome looking resume that will get past HR and get it into the hands of someone that can actually understand the terminologies. I like the design of your resume a lot. All it needs is just a few extra touches which will really bring it to life. I have a question for you now. Where did you get the template for this resume? It's too good.

srabiee

Do you still need further assistance with this? Consider uploading a revised version and let us know.

kurosaki00

I really like the resume format, nice and clean, good pop, easy to follow.

I think your resume is pretty good, if I had to point something out it would be:
I dont see correlation of some of your skills and what your duties in your jobs. Personally I like to describe specific skills and how I use them in my job experience. Like XXXX skill, how you used it? Example: Resume has Exchange Certified but no where in resume says you admin emails.
But then again, that's my personal take.

Also education you got 2014 first, then 2k9, 2k9 and then current?
I think it would be a good idea to change it from current-->downwards.

FillAwful

Don't for get to include the KDA's (Knowledge, Skills, and Abilities) from the specific posting, almost word for word. This is key to getting through the HR filters. USA jobs allows you to store 5 different resumes. I keep a master and then tailor the others to the posting.

Cyberscum

srabiee wrote: »

Do you still need further assistance with this? Consider uploading a revised version and let us know.

I revised it so that it looked less government associated. Thank you all for your help, any recommendation will be welcomed.

I still need to revise the skills section and elaborate some things.

srabiee

Based on your revised resume, here's what I would recommend:

Regarding the Skills section, instead of listing a bunch of software, technologies, and protocols, I would rather see you expand upon this information and explain HOW you are proficient in these skills, especially in a business/enterprise environment. Ideally I would recommend that you incorporate this info into your professional experience, and then drop the skills section altogether.

Also, be mindful of simply listing a bunch of acronyms. Don't presume that an HR manager or even an IT hiring manager is going to automatically know what "HBSS" and "SCCM" stand for. I recommend writing it in this format, for example: "Microsoft System Center Configuration Manager 2013 (SCCM)"

Within the professional experience section, each job description should begin with a high-level overview of your daily duties and responsibilities, and then use bullets to highlight special achievements, projects, promotions, etc. Don't rely solely on bullets like this. I will link you to a resume that's a great example on how to format and write this properly.

Your previous job position should be written in the past tense. I also write my current position in past tense as well to make everything consistent, but that's a personal preference. Present or past tense would work for current position.

Each bullet should begin with an action verb. I see that you did this with several bullets ("managed," "monitored," etc) but not all of them. You want to be consistent in this aspect, and write as academically as possible.

Within Education, your degrees should be listed in this order:
1) Masters
2) Bachelors
3) Associates 2014
4) Associates 2009

Also, instead of "currently enrolled," you should include the projected date of completion for your masters degree. "Spring 2017 (expected)", for example.

The Profile section could use some revisions in the writing department. Try to use complete sentences (again, write as academically as possible) and try to avoid overly short sentences. For example, "Over 12 years of information security experience" could be rewritten to "Accomplished IT professional with over 12 years of progressive information security experience." Feel free to modify as you see fit. "Maintain th balance between..." should be "Maintains a balance between..."

I can try to help you more with the content and writing if you'd like. LMK

This is an excellent resume guide with example resumes, a huge list of action verbs, sample summaries, etc:

http://www.filedropper.com/resumeguide

This thread contains a fantastic example of a properly formatted and written resume (ptilsen's resume):

Resume time

Someone recently uploaded this document regarding the "STAR Method" of writing resume content. You may want to take a look at it and see if it helps you.

http://www.filedropper.com/starmethod

Cyberscum

srabiee wrote: »

Is that your actual PII listed within the resume? If so, I highly recommend you take down the file, scrub it of any PII, and then re-upload. Never list your PII on a public Internet forum in this manner.

Nope

srabiee wrote: »

Based on your revised resume, here's what I would recommend:

Regarding the Skills section, instead of listing a bunch of software, technologies, and protocols, I would rather see you expand upon this information and explain HOW you are proficient in these skills, especially in a business/enterprise environment. Ideally I would recommend that you incorporate this info into your professional experience, and then drop the skills section altogether.

Also, be mindful of simply listing a bunch of acronyms. Don't presume that an HR manager or even an IT hiring manager is going to automatically know what "HBSS" and "SCCM" stand for. I recommend writing it in this format, for example: "Microsoft System Center Configuration Manager 2013 (SCCM)"

Good insight, I will take the skills section out and maybe do some highlighted bullets with more explanation. The skills section always seemed to be out of place on the resume.

srabiee wrote: »

Within the professional experience section, each job description should begin with a high-level overview of your daily duties and responsibilities, and then use bullets to highlight special achievements, projects, promotions, etc. Don't rely solely on bullets like this. I will link you to a resume that's a great example on how to format and write this properly.

I originally did this, but used a different font for the overview section. I was advised that using different fonts in a resume was a bad idea, so I made it all one font and same size. The first sentence under each job was the job overview.

srabiee wrote: »

Also, you have way too many bullets in your most recent job description. This quickly becomes tedious to read through, and can cause a hiring manager to quickly dismiss your resume. Some of this information can be converted to a high-level overview. You may also need to club some bullets and/or edit out some of the less important information. You should limit the number of bullets for each job position to 7 or 8 max.

Your previous job position should be written in the past tense. I also write my current position in past tense as well to make everything consistent, but that's a personal preference. Present or past tense would work for current position.

I did not have any bullets in the initial version, I changed it to have nothing but bullets and I also think that it is way too many. How long should sentences or bullets be for each section. I could prob combine all of the bullets into five or six main bullets, but longer sentences?

srabiee wrote: »

Each bullet should begin with an action verb. I see that you did this with several bullets ("managed," "monitored," etc) but not all of them. You want to be consistent in this aspect, and write as academically as possible.

Interesting. Did not even notice. I will change.

srabiee wrote: »

Within Education, your degrees should be listed in this order:
1) Masters
2) Bachelors
3) Associates 2014
4) Associates 2009

Also, instead of "currently enrolled," you should include the projected date of completion for your masters degree. "Spring 2017 (expected)", for example.

Copy, will change.

srabiee wrote: »

The Profile section could use some revisions in the writing department. Try to use complete sentences (again, write as academically as possible) and try to avoid overly short sentences. For example, "Over 12 years of information security experience" could be rewritten to "Accomplished IT professional with over 12 years of progressive information security experience." Feel free to modify as you see fit. "Maintain th balance between..." should be "Maintains a balance between..."

I can try to help you more with the content and writing if you'd like. LMK

Lol, I always cringed when I read the profile. Resumes are so damn hard to write for me because I have this feeling that everything should be short. But when I read it aloud the short sentences just seem out of place. I def need your help in this section. You seem to have a good idea on how to make it short but readable.

I really appreciate your resume guidance. Very concise!

srabiee

D'oh! You caught my post before I edited it. I missed the part where you mentioned the PII was fake. Also, disregard the paragraph about there being too many bullets. I failed to notice that the second page of your resume began with a new job description.

Regarding the high-level overviews for each job position, you don't have to use a different font or font size for this. You want to seamlessly incorporate this information with the bullets. Take a look at how ptilsen formatted his professional experience section to get an idea of what I'm talking about here. I think your resume would greatly benefit from a similar strategy and format.

Try to work on this a bit more and then upload a revision 3 PDF so we can assist your further.

Cyberscum

srabiee wrote: »

D'oh! You caught my post before I edited it. I missed the part where you mentioned the PII was fake. Also, disregard the paragraph about there being too many bullets. I failed to notice that the second page of your resume began with a new job description.

Regarding the high-level overviews for each job position, you don't have to use a different font or font size for this. You want to seamlessly incorporate this information with the bullets. Take a look at how ptilsen formatted his professional experience section to get an idea of what I'm talking about here. I think your resume would greatly benefit from a similar strategy and format.

Try to work on this a bit more and then upload a revision 3 PDF so we can assist your further.

Ok here is a new version. Some of the info I couldn't put past/present tense because of the nature of the bullet. What do you advise if it was a project that I "did" in the past but on the current job?

srabiee

That's why I write my entire professional experience section in past tense. Makes it much easier, and I don't have to worry about running into those types of issues (project that I completed 4 years ago but at the present job). Past tense is the way to go.

Consider expanding upon your high-level overviews. I think at least 3 sentences (or more) for each one. As it stands, they look like bullets without the bullet mark. Remember, use the high-level overview to focus on daily duties and responsibilities, and then use the bullets to highlight special achievements, projects, promotions, etc. Again, ptilsen's resume is a very good example of this.

Certifications should be listed below the education section. If you move the education section to the top of the resume that would work, but you have enough professional experience that it won't hurt you to leave it at the bottom of page two. However, the certs section also needs to be at the bottom of page two in this case. Keep em together.

It's looking better. I'll see what I can do to help you with content this evening.

Cyberscum

Missed the link to Ptilsen's resume. I like it a lot.

srabiee

Regarding the professional summary:

This would be a good first sentence: "Accomplished IT professional with over 12 years of progressive experience within the information security domain."

I'm not a security professional so I'm having a difficult time thinking up content to include or modify in your summary. If you were a Microsoft sysadmin it would probably be a piece of cake.

I think I have something that might help you though. PM me your email address.