Resume Critique Please

yasina2990

I am trying to get my foot in the door in this IT industry and am having some trouble. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
If the link does not work for some reason I will figure another way out

https://www.scribd.com/doc/273764864/AhmadYasin-Resume-Review

yasina2990

anybody with advice?

techfiend

It looks pretty good to me but overall I think it should be spiced up a bit. Some examples:

- In the summary replace two and five years with impact words like extensive.
- 'Maintained high expectation' to something like 'Exceeded high expectations'.
- 'Generated a significant growth in sales by developing an innovative marketing scheme.' While 10% is probably significant it seems small to the reader. I'd only use numbers when they seem big.
- I'd remove the oxford comma, many people are bothered by them.

When editing rather than look at it just by what you did try to add in how it helped the company. For instance. You installed all new desktops and printers to something like 'Greatly improved employee' effectiveness by replacing all workstations and printers.'

I know it can be difficult to talk about yourself in an exciting way but it's very important when you are trying to get into the field. Are you getting many callbacks?

yasina2990

I am getting a few call backs but not the result I would like compared to the amount of jobs I have applied for. All jobs have been technical support or tier 1 help desk so I am not sure what the problem is with my job hunt.

techfiend

Before my first IT position my callback had to have been <10% total. Near the end, when I had my best resume, it was between 15-20% callbacks. Just keep going, there'll be an opportunity eventually. To improve your chances you might want to pursue windows 7 mcsa, it's likely the biggest demand after A+ for entry level. You could do CCENT if you want to get a networking position but those are much more uncommon, at least around here.

yasina2990

I was planning on starting my CCENT next but I may hold off and just do the MCSA like you recommended. Whatever will make it easier to get that first IT job.

ypark

Looks good overall but I think you need to include specific technologies/software/hardware you worked with, especially during your internship and technical aspects of your managerial role. What OS's were you working with? Did you use a ticketing system? What network equipment did you install/configure/maintain? How did your technical skills help the store?
Your first IT job will probably involve dealing with clients on day to day basis and employers definitely value customer service skills. Highlight your customer service skills but be more specific. "Commended for excellence in customer service and greatly increased store revenue by employing customer-centric marketing strategies." Something like that. I assumed increase in foot traffic = increase in revenue.
You basically want to list your past responsibilities and skills in the context of the qualities the employer will look for in an entry level IT position.