Wtrwlkr Presents: "Posting my Resume to Dice: A Dramatic Reading of my Inbox"

wtrwlkr

Oh! Hello there, random dude with an eastern European name, from random staffing agency! Sure, I'd love to discuss an exciting employment opportunity with you. What's that, you say? It's a 6 month temporary contract that requires that I relocate from Florida to New Jersey? And it uses approximately 15% of my skill set? Sounds great! Can we talk salary? You're paying $20-25 an hour? Well, that's alittle low, considering the location is practically in Manhattan, but I'm sure you have amazing benefits! Oh, wait, you don't offer benefits because it's a short term contract? Well hot damn, where do I sign up?

--chris--

I was always curious who would take these short term contracts that pay average wages with no benefits? Someone must take them, or else this model would not exists....

wtrwlkr

The desperately unemployed, or H1B applicants, most likely. Not to make light of the unemployed, I've been there and it sucks. Sometimes you need the first job you can get to keep yourself afloat and wait for better options.

scaredoftests

Yeah, like moving to NJ or Florida is exciting. ha

bpenn

Hahaha, here is my experience:

"Hello bpenn,

You have a fantastic resume and your skillset would be exceptional for this position. Hmmm, its looks like your are doing desktop support. How about Tier 1 helpdesk with less pay! Sound good? Its not like you want to progress your career, right?"

Or my favorite scenario:

"Hello bpenn,

We have a position open for an LPN here at XXX hospital. Please let me know if you are interested."

SERIOUSLY?! I have gotten two LPN offers from recruiters. Why do I even bother posting my resume?

scaredoftests

I know what you mean. Did you even READ my resume? LOL

Santa_

This is a recent message from LinkedIn

"Hi Mr. Secret Agent Joe Smoe,

Your work experience is very impressive. Your experience with routing, firewalls, and Cisco technologies is right in line with what two of my clients are looking for. I am working with a top international law firm and a top financial services provider that are looking for Sr. Network Engineers with experience with these technologies."

Please keep in mind that my LinkedIn shows only the titles of my positions I've held and not descriptions or responsibilities of each.

Like others have said, I don't think these individuals take the time to read your profile.

Params7

wtrwlkr wrote: »

The desperately unemployed, or H1B applicants, most likely. Not to make light of the unemployed, I've been there and it sucks. Sometimes you need the first job you can get to keep yourself afloat and wait for better options.

Pretty much. There are plenty of takers on H1B visas for those positions.

DoubleNNs

People just starting out also often take those contracting positions to get experience. I know I did.

Danielm7

I might have posted this a while back, but, a few years ago I was at work at another company and I got an urgent email and phone call from a recruiter. He called me and started describing this job. Part way in I said, is that a SQL developer? Oh, yeah, it is, are you one? Um, no, no I'm not. He replied with, "oh, would you like to be one? I have a bunch of SQL dev jobs!"

NetworkNewb

The best response I've seen lately is, a couple years ago I used to work as a "Technical Support Analyst" for a large medical device company. Their support center has a good percentage of employees on as contractors and seemed to have a high turnover rate. I CONSTANTLY receive calls and emails (at least 3 a week) from recruiters today saying they are looking for a "Technical Support Analyst" for this exact company.

They usually say something like "looking at your resume you would be a great fit for this position we have". Well no ****, I did that exact job 2 years ago!!

philz1982

bpenn wrote: »

Hahaha, here is my experience:

"Hello bpenn,

You have a fantastic resume and your skillset would be exceptional for this position. Hmmm, its looks like your are doing desktop support. How about Tier 1 helpdesk with less pay! Sound good? Its not like you want to progress your career, right?"

Or my favorite scenario:

"Hello bpenn,

We have a position open for an LPN here at XXX hospital. Please let me know if you are interested."

SERIOUSLY?! I have gotten two LPN offers from recruiters. Why do I even bother posting my resume?

You do know LPN stands for Leader of Packet Networks, they are essentially asking you to take over their entire hospital network....

jamthat

philz1982 wrote: »

You do know LPN stands for Leader of Packet Networks, they are essentially asking you to take over their entire hospital network....

Right? Lots of confusion surrounding this one and the Certified Packet Analyst

Segovia

The worst is when some guy from India keeps calling me and leaving messages over and over and over.

I always regret posting my resume.

nofear187

most ass clown employment agencies don't even keep track of the candidates they have interview face to face or in person, o
well ! they are one big waste of time !

YesOffense

bpenn wrote: »

Hahaha, here is my experience:

"Hello bpenn,

You have a fantastic resume and your skillset would be exceptional for this position. Hmmm, its looks like your are doing desktop support. How about Tier 1 helpdesk with less pay! Sound good? Its not like you want to progress your career, right?"

But it has great growth potential!

Magmadragoon

I actually think my experience was funny: I actually was contacted by a recruiter from my own company for the current position I was already in for 25 % less then I was currently making. I honest believe that some people do not read your resume. He could just look in the outlook address book before contacting me.

ArabianKnight

So excited! Just got at email for a part-time office assistant, I think this is the one!

Segovia

ArabianKnight wrote: »

So excited! Just got at email for a part-time office assistant, I think this is the one!

Does it require that extremely difficult Microsoft Office certification? I have already failed it twice

wtrwlkr

I was bored and responded to the latest spam I got. I made a separate post complete with screenshots for the collective entertainment of the readership. Enjoy.