THought I would share this awesome opportunity

cshkuru

Got this email this morning with the subj: Xxxxxx Job of the Day

I can't speak for everyone but 2 to 3 hours of driving at $14 / hr with all the other stuff regarding dress, 6 month commitment etc. Even as a newbie I don't think I would be inclined to pursue thsi job.

Location: Seattle, WA
Minimum pay rate: $14.14
Primary is
Xxxxxx
#### Rainer Ave S
Seattle WA 98144

Xxx Xx
### S Alaska St
Seattle WA 98108

Manager Notes: ALL GENERAL AND TECHNICAL QUESTIONS MUST BE ON ALL RESUMES ON THE BOTTOM OR IT WILL BE REJECTED!!!

Ave. Miles
300-400

A+ Certification

Job
Description:

Candidate will be taking PC hardware break fix calls at various locations.
Must have reliable transportation.
Must be able to pass drug and background screening.
Must be able to complete required product training.
Required Skills:

DELL Desktop PC, Install/Support, Expert

Education and experience:

Must be able to pass drug and background screening.
Must be able to complete required product training
General Question

DIRECTIONS: Recruiters/Suppliers MUST ask the candidate these questions below and write down EXACTLY what they answer. Do NOT make any corrections to their answers regardless if they are right or wrong. If any questions are left blank, the resume WILL be rejected!

Candidate Information:

Name:
Address: (COMPLETE ADDRESS WITH ZIP CODE)
Phone Number:
Email Address:

1. Extensive driving is a requirement. Would you have a problem driving 2 to 3 hours to deliver services to one of your customers?
2. Have you ever worked for Xxxxxx? If yes, please provide the dates and reason for leaving.
3. Are you currently looking for other opportunities in the current job market?
4. If your car breaks down, what is your back up plan?
5. At your former employer, were there any reason for calling into work?
6. Occasionally you will be faced with unplanned overtime work (work past 5:30pm). Will this be a problem for you?
7. Do you have a reliable computer, a high speed internet connection, and a printer at home?
8. The position mandates business casual attire – no jeans, hats, caps, t-shirts, tennis shoes, construction-type boots, un-tucked shirts, hoodies, and thermal sweat shirts, among casual dress. You will be required to report to work in dress pants/kakis, collar shirt, tucked in, and dress shoes. Will this be a problem?
9. Will you commit to a minimum of 6 months, understanding that if the commitment is broken an unfavorable reference would be provided if called by a future employer?
10. You will be required to certify and maintain Dell computer certification in your own time and complete before the drug and background is completed (5 business days). Will this be a problem for you?
11. Have you ever completed Dell Certs before? If so, please provide your Dell Login.
12. Do you have gaps in your resume between jobs? If so, explain why.
13. Why did you leave your last job? Why did you leave the job before that one?
UTS Technical Questions for NBD Candidates

1. User Maria calls you to complain that her system is totally dead today. It was working fine when she left the last evening. What should you check first?
2. Your client’s computer refuses to connect to the network. You observe the NIC light is not ON and then use a different cable. What should you do next?
3. Sally is having a problem with the network. She cannot log on from her computer although the computer is fine. You log on from her workstation using her username and password. Everything works fine. What is most likely the problem?
4. You have just configured two new SCSI drives on a system board meant for ATA drives. The drives being recognized after boot up are ATA drives. What is the problem?
5. You have just purchased a computer running Win 2000 with the following configuration. Every time the system is powered ON it keeps rebooting automatically. What could the problem be? ATX Main board Two Pentium 4 – 1 GHz, 200W Power Supply
6. Your HDD does not respond upon powering ON your computer. What is the most likely problem?:
7. You boot your PC and don’t hear the usual single beep. What should you check first?
8. You switch on your PC and get no display. You are sure the monitor is ok. How would you troubleshoot this problem?
9. What is the most likely consequence of a sudden power outage?
10. A parity error usually indicates a problem with which of the following?

Segovia

Hey I got that same exact e-mail!!!

I would avoid it like the plague if I were you..

Queue

Any job that requires you to use your own personal vehicle is hard. I did it with my first job driving around to satellite locations, but was at least reimbursed the IRS 57 cents a mile. Using your vehicle putting miles thus decreasing its value and reliability, and the maintenance required from such heavy use is just flat out not worth it for sub 30,000.



Six month commitment:

Danielm7

9. Will you commit to a minimum of 6 months, understanding that if the commitment is broken an unfavorable reference would be provided if called by a future employer?

Haha! But at least the pay is just below their planned minimum wage for the area. I love how you have to use your own car, and also have a backup plan for when your car breaks down.

dave0212

Several things scream run away!!

This is such an aggressive email, only the desperate would work here

7. Do you have a reliable computer, a high speed internet connection, and a printer at home? - required to use your own equipment at probably your on cost
9. Will you commit to a minimum of 6 months, understanding that if the commitment is broken an unfavorable reference would be provided if called by a future employer? - is this really allowed n the US???? Glad I work in Europe
10. You will be required to certify and maintain Dell computer certification in your own time and complete before the drug and background is completed (5 business days). Will this be a problem for you? - Go get certified in your own time before you start, I don't mind doing stuff in my own time but this inspire me to do it
11. Have you ever completed Dell Certs before? If so, please provide your Dell Login. - Now I have never done dell certs so not sure if this is a verification portal or they are actually asking for login credentials

The questions at the bottom are awful, given the reference to Win2000 they must have been written years ago. Although I would love to just respond to this email in a similarly aggressive manner especially answering some of those questions i.e.

5. You have just purchased a computer running Win 2000 with the following configuration. Every time the system is powered ON it keeps rebooting automatically. What could the problem be? ATX Main board Two Pentium 4 – 1 GHz, 200W Power Supply - The problem is you just purchased a computer that's no longer supported and has less computing power than my 2 year old phone!!

cyberguypr

3. Are you currently looking for other opportunities in the current job market?

No! I live and breathe just for you.

4. If your car breaks down, what is your back up plan?

I carry a Segway, a hoverboard, and an E-GO electric skateboard in the trunk. If the car breaks down I will hop on the Segway and carry the hoverboard and E-GO in my arms. As the batteries drain I will dispose of them so the load becomes lighter and the wind drag coefficient decreases. Total combined terrain I can theoretically cover will be between 25-30 miles, more if going downhill. In the event that all batteries are depleted before getting to the client's location I intend to employ social engineering or other less than legal tactics to secure command of a vehicle. If caught, I will of course protect you and deny any association with the company. I will declare myself as a lone wolf one man operation. As soon as I post bail I will head to the client's location.

7. You boot your PC and don’t hear the usual single beep. What should you check first?

Did I forget to remove my noise isolating ear buds again?

8. You switch on your PC and get no display. You are sure the monitor is ok. How would you troubleshoot this problem?

Call the Geek Squad.

9. What is the most likely consequence of a sudden power outage?

Everything goes dark. Can't see anything.

markulous

Danielm7 wrote: »

Haha! But at least the pay is just below their planned minimum wage for the area. I love how you have to use your own car, and also have a backup plan for when your car breaks down.

I thought the minimum wage thing already went through there, no? Either way this job is ridiculous.

Danielm7

I think it happens over a few years, but yes, the job sounds bonkers.

olaHalo

Meh doesnt sound so bad.
Seems like ok work for someone with little experience.
And if you have no job then any job looks good.

I wouldnt quit a job to do this, but work is work

markulous

Danielm7 wrote: »

I think it happens over a few years, but yes, the job sounds bonkers.

Ah, that's right, it's a progressive thing.

cshkuru

Today I got the exact same email from another company which amazingly has the same address and phone number as the first company. tomorrow I am sure there will be a third.

TechGromit

cshkuru wrote: »

1. Extensive driving is a requirement. Would you have a problem driving 2 to 3 hours to deliver services to one of your customers?

Is Gas included? At your awesome pay rate, I think I would be working for free.
2. Have you ever worked for Xxxxxx? If yes, please provide the dates and reason for leaving.
3. Are you currently looking for other opportunities in the current job market?

cshkuru wrote: »

4. If your car breaks down, what is your back up plan?

Abandon my car and go home. Wait I live in my car, so I'm already home.

cshkuru wrote: »

7. Do you have a reliable computer, a high speed internet connection, and a printer at home?

I live in my car, so High Speed internet consists of unsecured WiFi hotspots.

cshkuru wrote: »

8. The position mandates business casual attire – no jeans, hats, caps, t-shirts, tennis shoes, construction-type boots, un-tucked shirts, hoodies, and thermal sweat shirts, among casual dress. You will be required to report to work in dress pants/kakis, collar shirt, tucked in, and dress shoes. Will this be a problem?

No problem, for a minute I thought you were going to ask if they were clean and didn't smell.

cshkuru wrote: »

11. Have you ever completed Dell Certs before? If so, please provide your Dell Login.

Do you need my password too? It's "Password" just for your FYI.

cshkuru wrote: »

13. Why did you leave your last job? Why did you leave the job before that one?

It's paid way too much and they didn't ask me to do enough, I was bored at work.

cshkuru wrote: »

Tech Questions:
1. User Maria calls you to complain that her system is totally dead today. It was working fine when she left the last evening. What should you check first?

It's unplugged, the power failed, or someone didn't pay the electric bill.

cshkuru wrote: »

2. Your client’s computer refuses to connect to the network. You observe the NIC light is not ON and then use a different cable. What should you do next?

Chances are the LED is blown out on the network card, but just for the heck of it, I'd make sure the cat. 5 cable is plugged into the wall.

cshkuru wrote: »

3. Sally is having a problem with the network. She cannot log on from her computer although the computer is fine. You log on from her workstation using her username and password. Everything works fine. What is most likely the problem?

Sally is a security risk, Next I ask her for her full name, credit card number and expiration date.

cshkuru wrote: »

4. You have just configured two new SCSI drives on a system board meant for ATA drives. The drives being recognized after boot up are ATA drives. What is the problem?

I was wondering why the connections were different and so hard to connect together.

cshkuru wrote: »

5. You have just purchased a computer running Win 2000 with the following configuration. Every time the system is powered ON it keeps rebooting automatically. What could the problem be? ATX Main board Two Pentium 4 – 1 GHz, 200W Power Supply

Why would I purchase a computer running a 15 year old operating system?

cshkuru wrote: »

6. Your HDD does not respond upon powering ON your computer. What is the most likely problem?:

High Density Diskette not inserted into floppy drive.

cshkuru wrote: »

8. You switch on your PC and get no display. You are sure the monitor is ok. How would you troubleshoot this problem?

Well Normally I would plug the monitor into another computer to make sure it works, but given, "You are sure the monitor is ok", I'd check the VGA Connections on the monitor and computer.

cshkuru wrote: »

9. What is the most likely consequence of a sudden power outage?

Rioting.

cshkuru wrote: »

10. A parity error usually indicates a problem with which of the following?

Usually when you it says "which of the following?" you give me chioces. Where are my chioces?



My personal favorite in the Win 2000 question, when is the last time HR updated that tech questionaire.

Caiyenne

This thread is hilarious! Thanks for the funny answers guys!

alan2308

We should all send our resumes.