Example of People with Toxic Personality

AB.Calculus

From everyone's IT experience, what were the typical trait of a co-worker, who would be deemed as toxic in the work environment if you ever worked with one? What were they like and how did they specifically come across each day? I read that people with toxic personality even with the right skill set, holds them back.

Danielm7

Always negative. Snappy at others. They sometimes try to gather other people to turn against the people they don't like. If you find people who are normally pretty positive getting dragged down by one person, that can be the issue. Are you concerned that you might be that person? If so it's a good sign that you're even questioning it.

kiki162

AB - Would love to hear your personal experiences with this topic.

TomkoTech

Im questioning the point of the thread, unless it is as Daniel suggested and you are seeking self-improvement.....

Toxic people come in many forms, and it isn't necessarily a product of their personality. Someone could be toxic even if everyone in the office gets along with/likes them/their personality.

LA2

A toxic personality to me is someone who is slways cynical. Someone who is always talking negative About about coworkers or leadership. Someone who comes in one hour late, leaves one hour early and takes two hour lunches.

AB.Calculus

kiki162 wrote: »

AB - Would love to hear your personal experiences with this topic.

From my personal and professional experience, co-workers and people in general typically avoid me. It doesn't bothers me when people avoids me, since I been a loner throughout high school and into my adulthood. I'm an introvert but not anti-social by any means.

AB.Calculus

TomkoTech wrote: »

Im questioning the point of the thread, unless it is as Daniel suggested and you are seeking self-improvement.....

To be honest, yes, it is about self-improvement. I'm at a point were instead of mainly focusing on certs, I am working on improving my people skills. In fact, I don't want to walk in a room, suck the energy out the room and have people notice that.

TomkoTech

LA2 wrote: »

Someone who is always talking negative About about coworkers or leadership. Someone who comes in one hour late, leaves one hour early and takes two hour lunches.

Do you mean someone who thinks it should be no big deal if they show up 15-20 minutes late every day just because they don't take smoke breaks throughout the day?

Someone who thinks he is "better" than the job he has minimal experience/training in? Better than the people he works with?

Someone who values playing a video game more than adhering to the responsibilities of the job they are paid to do?

I wonder if I could find an example of this person......

TomkoTech

AB I think you may be asking the wrong question then. Someone who keeps to themselves, or doesn't interact often with others does not make them "toxic" to an environment.

As far as self-improvement goes, no words on the internet are going to help you with that. Talk to your friends/family. Ask them for some insight. Talk to co-workers. You need specific feedback in regards to you, not general ideas.

There are plenty of articles that discuss topics on developing your soft skills. Communication is the key. Read some scholarly articles that discuss methods of improving those skills and find one that resonates with you.

OctalDump

They make you feel bad. Fear, intimidation, mind games, abuse, lying. A whole of emotional screwing around that makes it unpleasant to be around them, to work with them, or affects your ability to do your work.

There's no mystery to it really. If you come across them, you will know about it.

thomas_

Toxic to me is someone that is always complaining no matter what. They complain about having to do some thing, but then they turn around and complain about not being able to do the thing they previously complained at having to do. Being told what to do by a supervisor and then procedd to argue with their supervisor about the task even though they have already been told to do something, usually in a raised voice.

@AB - I wouldn't necessarily think you are a toxic person based on what you described. A lot of the way you feel about a situation could be all in your head, just your perception of the situation. I used to be really self-conscious in bars and clubs and felt that everyone was watching me. Eventually I realized that everyone was pretty much doing their own thing, sure people watch other people, but not everyone was focused on me.

Your description of sucking the energy out of the room could be just a perception. If people actively go out of their way to avoid you and cut conversatilns short, that may be an indication of something. However, it could just be they're just not sure what to talk to you about especially if you're expecting them to the lead the conversation if you've never have had any interaction with them before.

Easiest thing to do is start off small and say good morning and good bye to people around you or that you have the most interaction with throught out the day. If it's a Monday ask them how their weekend went, if it's a Friday ask them what their plans are for the weekend and talk about your plans. Gradually start to get to know the people that you work with and talk to them about THEIR interests. If you do this enough then your perception of the environment might change.

FillAwful

thomas_ wrote: »

Your description of sucking the energy out of the room could be just a perception. If people actively go out of their way to avoid you and cut conversatilns short, that may be an indication of something. However, it could just be they're just not sure what to talk to you about especially if you're expecting them to the lead the conversation if you've never have had any interaction with them before.

Easiest thing to do is start off small and say good morning and good bye to people around you or that you have the most interaction with throught out the day. If it's a Monday ask them how their weekend went, if it's a Friday ask them what their plans are for the weekend and talk about your plans. Gradually start to get to know the people that you work with and talk to them about THEIR interests. If you do this enough then your perception of the environment might change.

I am an introvert.

I agree with this being a perception issue, it is not uncommon in our field to lack social confidence and understanding and to be intimidated by people that do, especially in the overconfident pompous self-serving business world.

One way that I myself cope with this is to spend extra time taking care of myself. Taking an extra ten minutes in the morning to make sure I am presented as my best self does wonders for confidence. I always make sure I am wearing clothes that make me feel confident and good about myself.

The other portion of this for me is that practice makes perfect and no gains are made without risk. I frequently take on projects that make me uncomfortable because I have to interact with people that I see as much smarter and/or confident than myself. While the introvert in me is terrified in the fetal position screaming to run out of the room I just "fake it till I make it." The results of this have never failed me. I've learned that people don't see me the way I see myself and that I should give myself much more credit. I just started a new job surrounded by incredibly talented people whom I admire and I have had to start this process all over again. It has already shown itself to be worth it.

Bjcheung77

OP, i'm an introvert as well. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert, it's much different than being "toxic".
At work, at school, wherever you may be, there's others around who are introverts as well, you just don't know it.
I'm just so grateful that there are online communities/forums like this, otherwise, I would be off way worse...

The main reason people know i'm an introvert is, i'm shy and quiet... but when we start working on something or on chat/email or anything, my mind is "no longer in that introvert state", and i am one of the guys who answer many questions co-workers may have. Example is, I've been working in this tech support role for 8 years, I've been helping younger/newer techs with issues.

I'm more in a Tier 2 role, but I'm wanting to move up to a Team Lead role, so for myself, *yes, even at this age*, is trying to practice being more confident and speak with people. Even if it's a bit awkward at first, I talk about anything and sometimes it's boring or repetitive (just like work), you still have to do it!

UnixGuy

It's hard to admit but looking back, I might have had some toxic traits...

here's my advice:
eliminate negativity ==> i.e. don't like something? focus your efforts on changing it. DO NOT COMPLAIN (ever).
be yourself ==> be congruent, and understand your values and live by them. (be pragmatic too, so be smart about it, but know yourself).

Examples of toxic people:
1) constantly complaining (don't bother listen to them).
2) their personal life is crap and it reflects on their well being at work. (be yourself and fix your personal life, be content with it).

daviddws

The most dangerous ones are Socio- or Psychopaths that look good to most, but are incredibly dangerous individuals and will do anything and everything to undermine others or take credit for other peoples work without any concern whatsoever.

Iristheangel

TomkoTech wrote: »

Do you mean someone who thinks it should be no big deal if they show up 15-20 minutes late every day just because they don't take smoke breaks throughout the day?

Someone who thinks he is "better" than the job he has minimal experience/training in? Better than the people he works with?

Someone who values playing a video game more than adhering to the responsibilities of the job they are paid to do?

I wonder if I could find an example of this person......

Bwhahahahaha...

zoro_2009

LA2 wrote: »

A toxic personality to me is someone who is slways cynical. Someone who is always talking negative About about coworkers or leadership. Someone who comes in one hour late, leaves one hour early and takes two hour lunches.

They make you feel bad. Fear, intimidation, mind games, abuse, lying. A whole of emotional screwing around that makes it unpleasant to be around them, to work with them, or affects your ability to do your work.

There's no mystery to it really. If you come across them, you will know about it.

Damn, I have exactly one of these co-worker where I work, it's just like you are describing this exact person to me, damn, until today I didn't find the right word to describe him, but "toxic" will do him just fine !

Always talking bad in the back of the other workers, letting you imagine that you are his favorite, but as soon as you turn your back, you'll be the next

Also from time to time, he makes drama in the work environment, spreading the hate without reason whatsoever, he just can not stand seeing that everything runs smoothly without problems !

OctalDump

daviddws wrote: »

The most dangerous ones are Socio- or Psychopaths that look good to most, but are incredibly dangerous individuals and will do anything and everything to undermine others or take credit for other peoples work without any concern whatsoever.

Fortunately they are pretty rare. The problem is that they play by completely different rules to normal people, so usually once you figure out what's going on, you are already screwed. Unfortunately, this usually means that the healthiest thing to do is just move on... unless you can out sociopath a sociopath.

bluejellorabbit

I think I have the toxic trait of cynicism (and maybe others). I actively try not to be so negative these days, but sometimes it happens before I catch myself. When I first started in IT, I was very wide-eyed and naive. Then I came across some of those types of people who would back stab while smiling to your face. I remember that it really confused me as to why anyone would choose to be that way. But as I got older, I came to understand that most negative traits and emotions are driven by fear.

People fear losing their jobs, they fear not being good enough, they fear being looked down on by people around them. And unfortunately, some people let those fears dictate their lives in negative directions to the point where they don't care who they screw over. I have to admit, I've let fear dictate some negative behaviours of my own over the years. I don't back stab and I've never been one to try to get ahead at the expense of others, but I have trained myself not to trust anyone and to often choose paths that are in my best interest over the interest of the company. For example, when I was younger, I gave my 2 weeks notice one time, but then was let go immediately. I really needed that last check. These days if I found myself in a similar position, I would just wait until I got my last check and quit with no notice. Luckily, I tend to plan better now so I haven't had to do that.

Wish I could be one of those positive people that always believes the world will treat you well in return, but I've seen too much evidence to the contrary.

gespenstern

I don't care about people being negative or cynical. Sometimes I even perceive this as funny. Maybe I'm cynical as well to a certain degree.

What I care about is when some guy worked on something for years and never changed jobs and now so sensitive about job security that he would do anything to prevent others from getting knowledge that he possesses to do his job.

I wish this never happened.