Resume Critique/Advice!

Looking for some constructive criticism as well as any advice. I've been in the help desk field for nearly six years, five years as an active duty member. I would like to transition to more system administration/systems analyst positions in the near future.
SUMMARY
Goal-oriented Information Systems Administrator Professional with over six years of wide-ranging experience in a multi-site, multi-platform, client/server networked environment. A driven individual who utilizes leadership, communication, and interpersonal skills to build teams that exceed goals on a weekly basis. Demonstrated skills in formulating business requirements, supporting project documentation, and successfully managing project scope, risks, and issues.

TECHNICAL EXPERIENCE

• Windows OS; Windows Server 2012, 2008; Macintosh OS
• Microsoft SharePoint 2007/2003
• MS Office (Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Access, Project, Outlook) 2003 – 2013
• Active Directory, Group Policy Management
• Microsoft Management Console
• VMWare (Horizon Client), VPN, HEAT
• Cisco routers/switches
• SolarWinds (DameWare)

CERTIFICATIONS
CompTIA Security+ Ce
CompTIA A+ Ce
Cisco Certified Entry Networking Technician
MCTS: Windows 7, Configuring

EDUCATION
Bachelor of Science, Information Technology, Western Governor’s University – (Expected December 2017)
Associate of Arts, General Studies, Daytona State College – 2010

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE
Tennessee Army National Guard, Information Technology Management - Nashville, TN 2016 - Present
• Enforces command standards for hardware and software configurations. Develops, modifies, and tests overall system backup and recovery strategies for assigned systems.
• Troubleshoots and corrects software problems to include resolving conflicts between applications, hardware and/or device conflicts and operating system faults.
• Review proposed new systems, networks, and software designs for potential security risks; recommend mitigation or countermeasures, and resolve integration issues related to the implementation of new systems within the existing infrastructure.
• Removes and replaces defective hardware components; installs network/peripheral device interface cards. Performs limited upgrade of hardware to include memory, fixed storage, and installation of network interface cards or enhancement cards.

BOSH Global Services, Systems Support Administrator - Nashville, TN August 2016 - December 2016
• Maintained connectivity for NIPR/SIPR/JWICS systems and coordinated with DISA during scheduled interruptions.
• Implemented device management tools to reduce staff workload and decrease network down time.
• Ensured security of data and access privileges for need-to-know personnel.
• Diagnosed and debugged complicated performance, connectivity and security issues involving critical C4ISR applications.
• Assisted in coordinating special projects including network related wiring plans/diagrams, LAN/WAN hardware/software purchases and system installation, monitoring, maintenance and problem solving.

US Army, Senior Information Systems Analyst - Fort Campbell, KY 2015 - 2016
• Conducted in-depth system analysis of functional requirements for the organization.
• Professionally managed and maintained a fast-paced office responsible for audio/visual projection and network connectivity.
• Responsible for the accountability and maintenance of communication equipment valued in excess over $2M.
• Skilled in oral and written communication to instruct personnel on how to utilize computer systems.
• Managed the implementation and integration of new software and hardware into the organization.
• Reviewed current and proposed automation support requests and determined actual serviced organization needs.

US Army, Signal Support Systems Specialist - Hunter Army Airfield, GA 2014 - 2015
• Configured the Mobile Network Node and worked with the Regional Operations Center to ensure connectivity.
• Facilitated weekly meetings with team members to provide developmental counseling and training in Help Desk operations.
• Responsible for the creation, management and transition of user accounts/mailboxes and network printers.
• Provided customer service while performing diagnostics and troubleshooting on system hardware and software to resolve issues.
• Conducted briefings to management and training sessions on system capabilities and planned enhancements.

US Army, Information Technology Specialist - Yongsan, South Korea 2011 - 2014
• Developed, implemented and monitored a work order tracking system which increased productivity by over 75%.
• Consistently recognized for technical troubleshooting skills used to rapidly and cost-effectively resolve technical issues.
• Performed duties as the lead technician servicing over 450 user accounts and computers in both classified and unclassified systems.
• Developed and implemented a plan for operating system upgrades to Windows 7 for over 1,000 automation systems.
• Planned, scheduled, coordinated, and conducted VTCs on unclassified and classified networks.
• Skilled in troubleshooting operational issues dealing with VTC audio or visual transmission and equipment malfunctions.

Find more posts tagged with

Comments

yoba222

Looks good to me.

jibtech

Good looking resume. Just a few things.

Summary seems to be overreaching. Information Technology Professional. Not an Information Systems Administrator Professional. IT doesn't flow and appears to be trying too hard. I would also change "over six years of wide-ranging experience" to "6+ years of experience".

Under Technical Experience, remove the 2003 references. They don't really help at this point. Personally, I would remove the versions completely. Also remove MMC. From a systems administration perspective, it is essentially the same as listing Control Panel on your resume. It doesn't really get you anything positive, and could attract attention that is negative.

Capitalize CE in your CompTIA certs. Looks cleaner.

Change Cisco Certified Entry Network Technician to Cisco CCENT. The "Cisco" part is for HR. Any hiring manager who will appreciate a CCENT, knows it as a CCENT.

For your Tennessee ANG job, you didn't list a position. In everything else you did, so it stands out. You also changed voices with the Tennessee ANG job. Everything else is past tense "accomplishments" where that job is present tense "duties". That may be a conscious choice on your part, but just pointing it out if you aren't aware of it.

Finally, for BOSH. You don't have months anywhere else, so remove them here. Simply 2016.

It actually looks pretty good though.

scaredoftests

Get rid of summary, you can put that in a cover letter.

stryder144

I would change NIPR and SIPR to classified and unclassified data networks. Civilians will not know what they are, even if you spelled them out. Always, always, always assume that your target audience, if not DoD oriented, will have no clue about military acronyms. Thus, spell them out and, if a true military only term, change it to something that a civilian would understand.

I know what you did but I don't know the impact that you had. Quantifiable is the name of the game. Employers are looking for people who help them solve problems. If you quantify what you did they can see the impact you had and can make a better decision as to whether they can use your skill set or not.

You have put a lot of effort into your resume and it shows. Do a little "civilian" house cleaning and this will be one kick butt resume!

kiki162

I have a few comments. One of the biggest things to keep in mind when creating any resume is to NOT list old or outdated technologies on there. Think about it, most places aren’t using 10+ year old technology, so why put it on your resume, right? I’m going to comment on your tech experience section first.

Be Specific on the OS - if you have experience with Windows Server 2012 and 2012 R2, or 2008 R2, etc. With the Mac OS, you don’t have to be specific here, but just understand the different when a recruiter or hiring manager asks the different between OS X and macOS.
Sharepoint: Latest is 2016, I’d remove 2003. If you have admin experience setting up and configuring Sharepoint, then I’d leave it at 2007. But if you have experience using it from the User side - then that may not be ideal to put in.
MS Office: Again we are on 2016. I’d leave the version out on this one. 2016 isn’t too much different than 2013.
AD and GP is good to leave in
For MMC - if you have any Windows admin experience, then using MMC is a given. I’d leave that one out.
HEAT I believe is a ticketing system? Unless the job calls for experience with it, I’d leave it out.
VMWare and VPN: I’m going to assume that experience is more user troubleshooting. You may want to take the VPN portion and put it into one of your bullet statements under experience where applicable.

kiki162

Comments on the Summary:

Goal-oriented Information Systems Administrator Professional with over six years of wide-ranging experience in a multi-site, multi-platform, client/server networked environment.

Take out “Information” and “Professional” as this makes no sense here.

With this comment “wide-ranging experience in a multi-site, multi-platform, client/server networked environment.” I’d remove “wide-ranging” and on “multi-platform” normally when I see that I think you would have done some work with Linux as well. Most military environments run on Windows with the occasional Linux or Mac systems. For now I’d leave “multi-platform” in.

A driven individual who utilizes leadership, communication, and interpersonal skills to build teams that exceed goals on a weekly basis. Demonstrated skills in formulating business requirements, supporting project documentation, and successfully managing project scope, risks, and issues.

Although these statements are great, I think you may want to focus more on what type of position you are looking for instead. A lot of this will show within your Job Experience below, so if you have management experience or working with teams, some of that should be included. I recommend you check out (IT Resumes | Tech Resumes | IT Resume Database | Dev Bistro) for some examples to help build that.

kiki162

Professional Experience:

Overall, you have a lot of good stuff, however it’s very generalized. If you have used any specific technologies, OS’s, applications, framework standards, etc., I don’t see it in your bullet points here. With your dates for each job, be consistent and add the months as well. Be prepared to explain the frequent job changes. Always leave the fluff, BS, and outdated technologies off the resume.

TNAG Job:

You have a lot of good bullet points here. For your job title, is it something more specific? Are you a manager in this position? If so, you may want to mention it.

When you say “Enforces command standards”, I know a lot of the Signal stuff comes out of Ft. Gordon, is there anything specific with compliance frameworks that the “standards” are using? You may or may not know that answer, so it’s ok.

BOSH Job:

• Maintained connectivity for NIPR/SIPR/JWICS systems and coordinated with DISA during scheduled interruptions.
May want to switch “Maintained” with “Ensured”

• Implemented device management tools to reduce staff workload and decrease network down time.
What tools? Be more specific here.

• Ensured security of data and access privileges for need-to-know personnel.
You might get drilled on this statement here. Did you create policies here or was this more monitoring? You should be very specific on this.

Ft Camp. Job:

• Conducted in-depth system analysis of functional requirements for the organization.
Be more specific here. If you can't, then remove this.

• Professionally managed and maintained a fast-paced office responsible for audio/visual projection and network connectivity.
• Responsible for the accountability and maintenance of communication equipment valued in excess over $2M.
Remove “Professionally” and look at the sentence. It looks like it should be split into two sentences. What type of comm equipment? If it’s the A/V stuff mentioned above, maybe look at combining the 2 sentences. Take a look at my example below on how you could combine it.

“Managed and maintained audio/visual projection and communication equipment…”

• Skilled in oral and written communication to instruct personnel on how to utilize computer systems.
Remove this. If you were a manager in this position, or managed a particular set of systems, then you could state that you created documentation (if that's true) for disaster recovery purposes. This statement sounds like you trained new personnel. If that was the case, then you need to be specific on what kind of systems or applications (deploying workstation images, patching, help desk system, etc...)

You could rewrite this to say " Conducted training for new personnel on..."

• Managed the implementation and integration of new software and hardware into the organization.
Did you deploy software to workstations? If so, how? If you used a specific technology to do it, here would be a good place to mention it.

• Reviewed current and proposed automation support requests and determined actual serviced organization needs.
Is this more ticket requests or more project management? I’d probably remove this whole statement.

Hunter Job:

• Configured the Mobile Network Node and worked with the Regional Operations Center to ensure connectivity.
Any specific technologies used here? If so, mention it.

• Facilitated weekly meetings with team members to provide developmental counseling and training in Help Desk operations.
Remove “developmental counseling and”

• Responsible for the creation, management and transition of user accounts/mailboxes and network printers.
Using what technologies? All through Active Directory and/or Exchange? Be specific here.

• Provided customer service while performing diagnostics and troubleshooting on system hardware and software to resolve issues.
I’d change this to the following: "Performed diagnostics and troubleshooting on system hardware and software to resolve customer issues."

SK Job:

• Developed, implemented and monitored a work order tracking system which increased productivity by over 75%.
Sounds like you created a ticketing system from scratch. If you installed and configured the HEAT ticketing system, you may want to start with “Configured and deployed HEAT Ticketing system…”

• Consistently recognized for technical troubleshooting skills used to rapidly and cost-effectively resolve technical issues.
Remove this. Although this is great, if you had a direct job reference from that job (former co-worker or manager) that could speak to your abilities OR you had a Linkedin.com recommendation that reflected that statement from the position you held, then that would be more ideal.

• Developed and implemented a plan for operating system upgrades to Windows 7 for over 1,000 automation systems.
Any specific technologies used here for this? Did you use a specific tool to create an deploy custom images? Then when you state “1,000 automation systems.”….is this something specific? If it was regular workstations, then mention that instead.

• Planned, scheduled, coordinated, and conducted VTCs on unclassified and classified networks.
So I know what VTC means - but a recruiter may not. Add this instead “…conducted Video Teleconferences (VTC)…”

• Skilled in troubleshooting operational issues dealing with VTC audio or visual transmission and equipment malfunctions.
Although this goes back to the previous bullet statement, it would be better to combine the two like this
“Managed and conducted Video…”

When you say “managed” that normally refers to you maintaining or overseeing the system as a whole.

dvillasin

Wow!

Thank you all so much for the awesome criticism! It's always nice to have a second opinion on things like this. Of course, when I was putting it together for the first time a few months ago, it was pretty horrible. I am going to take all suggestions and attach my updated one in a day or so after I do some housekeeping.

Thanks again!

dvillasin

I revamped my resume to include a lot of the recommendations that you guys gave me

I'm hoping it looks a lot better and more approachable in the eyes of a recruiter/HR! Let me know if I should change anything around or fix up the language.

Side note: This looks a lot better format wise in the actual document, but I am not able to post attachments :[

SUMMARY
Goal-oriented IT Professional with 6+ years of experience in a multi-site, multi-platform, client/server networked environment. A driven individual who utilizes leadership, communication, and interpersonal skills to build teams that exceed goals on a weekly basis. Demonstrated skills in formulating business requirements, supporting project documentation, and successfully managing project scope, risks, and issues.

TECHNICAL EXPERIENCE
• Windows OS; Macintosh OS
• Microsoft SharePoint
• MS Office (Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Access, Project, Outlook)
• Active Directory, Group Policy Management
• VMWare (Horizon Client), VPN
• Cisco routers/switches
• SolarWinds (DameWare)

CERTIFICATIONS
CompTIA Security+ CE
CompTIA A+ CE
Cisco CCENT
MCTS: Windows 7, Configuring

EDUCATION
Bachelor of Science, Information Technology - Security, Western Governor’s University – (Expected December 2017)
Associate of Arts, General Studies, Daytona State College – 2010

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE
Tennessee Army National Guard, Computer Repair Technician - Nashville, TN 2017 - Present
• Enforces command standards for hardware and software configurations through SCCM and GPO.
• Provides Tier I/II helpdesk support for large National Guard Bureau (NGB) network consisting of over 2000 computers and 2500 users.
• Beta tested Windows 10 image from NGB to ensure it met specific department requirements for security and compatibility before roll-out to users.
• Lead IT Technician responsible for the imaging of 2000 workstations to Windows 10 across the state of Tennessee utilizing USB UEFI boot.
• Resolved 1800 tickets through direct and indirect interaction within the first 3 months of employment as the sole help desk support technician.

BOSH Global Services, Systems Support Administrator - Nashville, TN 2016
• Maintained connectivity for classified and unclassified systems and coordinated with DISA during scheduled interruptions.
• Ensured security of data and access privileges for need-to-know personnel by confirming correct and updated system authorization access forms were on file.
• Diagnosed and debugged complicated performance, connectivity and security issues involving critical military system applications.
• Assisted in coordinating special projects including network related wiring plans/diagrams, LAN/WAN hardware/software purchases and system installation, monitoring, maintenance and problem solving.

US Army, Senior Information Systems Analyst - Fort Campbell, KY 2015 - 2016
• Conducted in-depth system analysis of functional requirements for the organization.
• Managed and maintained audio/visual projection and communication equipment valued in excess of $2 million.
• Conducted training for new personnel on Windows 7 security measures and Information Assurance violations and reporting procedures.
• Managed the implementation and integration of new software and hardware into the organization through life-cycle replacements.

US Army, Signal Support Systems Specialist - Hunter Army Airfield, GA 2014 - 2015
• Configured the Warfighter Information-Tactical Network (WIN-T) that established a full range of data, voice and video communications to command posts at varying echelons using line-of-sight and beyond-line-of-sight capabilities during a 30 day pre-deployment exercise
• Facilitated weekly meetings and bi-weekly training in Help Desk operations to team members.
• Responsible for the creation, management and transition of user accounts/mailboxes in Active Directory for 110 users.
• Performed diagnostics and troubleshooting on system hardware and networks to resolve customer issues.
• Conducted briefings to management and training sessions on system capabilities and planned enhancements.

US Army, Information Technology Specialist - Yongsan, South Korea 2011 - 2014
• Configured and deployed HEAT ticketing system which increased productivity by 75%.
• Performed duties as the lead technician servicing over 450 user accounts and computers across 8 departments.
• Developed and implemented a plan for the deployment of Windows 7 to over 1,000 workstations using a Preboot eXecution Environment under a designated 8 week timeline.

dvillasin

Here it is formatted!

Attachment not found.

Destiny Villasin Resume1.pdf