Growing oneself beyond the technical: Patience, persistence, and perseverance.
It's been a long while since I've posted here, though I've been actively reading a few times a month when time permits. I was lurking here today and I started reflecting on the general mood and atmosphere I often found myself in years back when I was posting and reading more actively. I then started comparing the man I used to be to the man I am now and thinking about how I got here. I was in a bad place years ago, first came financial woes when the housing market tanked. Divorce soon followed which triggered a whole new slew of emotions and problems to work through. Feelings of self loathing came and went as I was dissatisfied with myself allowing my career, one of the only things I had left for myself (other than my son), become stagnant as I didn't have the motivation to advance and grow professionally. I spent a good amount of time feeling bitter, depressed and angry at myself - convincing myself that my future would be bleak and I nearly started to accept this as reality.
We all go through rough patches of some kind numerous times throughout life and we all handle it a little different. It's easy for me to say it will pass, things will calm down, things will get better, you'll find yourself again and happiness will return - many of you who were around here years ago told me the same but it doesn't seem like it will at the time. But it does pass, the chaos does subside, things will turn for the better and you will find yourself once again and allow happiness back into your life as long as you practice patience, persistence, and perseverance. You can't learn these from a book, these are lessons only taught through experiencing life and allowing oneself to live. Many of us probably feel we have patience and persistence just as a byproduct of being in the industry - and that's true to some degree. But in the face of longer term struggles life might throw your way, patience can wear thin and persistence can give way to acceptance.
Perseverance is the key, steadily and consistently applying persistence and patience - especially during times when life's obstacles seem to keep throwing you off course. As I reflected on where I was and where I am now, I realize that while I may have spent a couple years in my past growing stagnant and complacent professionally I was learning a far more valuable lesson in perseverance - I just didn't know it at the time. I persevered, and through doing so I'm now happily married to an amazing woman who came with three wonderful step-children as part of the deal. They have given a new meaning to my life that has resulted in a renewed drive to excel both personally and professionally. In just over the couple of years or so they have been a part of my life, I've found the drive to step out of my comfort zone and be willing to make the employment change and net nearly a 50% jump in pay. They enabled me to direct my career in the direction I always wanted it to take, working on security. They've given me the drive that led to me being in the position to manage and assist with implementing our organizations efforts to become ISO 27001 certified. They've got me back on track with certifications, as I've been actively studying for the CISSP and then on to OSCP and others my employer would like to have me obtain and I've never been more motivated to study than I find myself now. Life hasn't been without it's struggles, however, having a house fire last year where we lost nearly everything and most of our pets - thankfully nobody was home at the time. But we persevered, we got through it together and are stronger than we ever were as a result. Had it not been for my past lesson in perseverance, I wouldn't have been able to be as much of a rock that I had been for my wife and step-children during that trying time.
I'm not sure what exactly compelled me to write this today, I've seen a handful of threads in recent weeks of others working through problems with being depressed, lacking motivation or just feeling uncertain about things so I suppose that's in part why I wrote this. To let anyone struggling know that the time you spend working through whatever hardship you find yourself facing is only temporary, however long it may seem, and you'll come out of it a far better version of yourself than you were when you went into it. Patience and persistence alone are not good enough and it's easy to accept things as they are and become complacent. If you consistently apply patience and persistence, be assured you will persevere and get through whatever life throws your way.
