How to handle an angry boss who is always negative

New2ITinCaliNew2ITinCali Senior MemberSan Francisco Bay AreaPosts: 182Member ■■■□□□□□□□
I lost a really good boss because we got a new manager and he couldn't handle the stress, so he quit. Now my co-workers and I are left to deal with her. She has knee-jerk reactions and yells at us in front of other staff. I have never worked in such a demoralizing environment. I've also always passed my yearly evaluations, but this year she has decided to mark my co-workers as inconsistent because we are not learning the new system fast enough. In all of my other jobs, I've always been told I am a fast learner- her expectations are unreasonable. How would you handle someone like her? And does anyone else have similar experience and advice? I really like my job, but she's making it so difficult.


  • NotHackingYouNotHackingYou Posts: 1,460Member ■■■■■■■■□□
    Find a new job!
    When you go the extra mile, there's no traffic.
  • scaredoftestsscaredoftests Security +, ITIL Foundation, MPT, EPO, ACAS, HTL behind youPosts: 2,716Mod Mod
    You won't win. Get another job.
    Never let your fear decide your fate....
  • shochanshochan Senior Member Posts: 874Member ■■■■■■□□□□
    Start drinking at work

    "It's not good when it's done, it's done when it's good" ~ Danny Carey
  • BlucodexBlucodex OSCP, GCIA, GCIH, GMON, CISSP, CEH, CHFI, CCNA CyberOps, Security+ Posts: 430Member ■■■■□□□□□□
    Slap the taste out of their mouth!
  • NetworkNewbNetworkNewb Posts: 3,277Member ■■■■■■■■■□
    You won't win. Get another job.

    My wife actually won against one of these managers, but it took a long time. Her manager was awful. Yelled at people... Name calling... I think what really kicked it off was when a couple people starting leaving and those people would talk to upper management about the behavior that the manger was putting out. My wife actually moved up very quickly in the company after the manager's "departure" and worked out extremely well for her. Other than that manager it was pretty good company to work at. But in most cases I would probably just leave.
  • slinuxuzerslinuxuzer Posts: 665Member ■■■■□□□□□□
    Find a new job and leave, I've faced this situation more than once and you won't fully realize the mental impact this is actually having on you until you leave, and it won't get better unless this manager is relieved of duty, and you have to ask yourself what will her replacement be like? Don't forget the people replacing her will be the same people who hired her.
  • gespensterngespenstern Posts: 1,243Member ■■■■■■■□□□
    Document everything, **** your document trail to HR each week.

    It would look like:

    4/25/2018 11:31am. X shows up at our room and starts yelling at Y because he took his time to research problem M we received in ticket T on system S because he didn't know the system upside down as its developers would. Exact words "*******", "dumbass", "get it ******* done" were in use. The voice loudness at peaks reached 110 dB. The rant lasted for 7 min 45 sec.

    etc, etc.

    In parallel, look around to see what opportunities the market can offer.

    If they fire you for that, not that much different from jumping it off as suggested above.
  • Basic85Basic85 Senior Member Posts: 176Member ■■■□□□□□□□
    I use to have a boss like that, I didn't last that long. There isn't much you can do besides start looking for a new job and make sure it's a good environment.
  • MooseboostMooseboost Senior Member Posts: 775Member ■■■■□□□□□□
    Autobots, roll out!

    That is the best advice I can give you. I have been there myself and working in a toxic environment negatively impacted me at my next two jobs because I carried over that mentality.
    2020 Certification Goals: OSCE GXPN
  • slinuxuzerslinuxuzer Posts: 665Member ■■■■□□□□□□
    I realize a lot of people will agree with you, but I've always viewed this as punishing myself, this leads to a miserable existence at least for me, I'd rather move on.
  • DatabaseHeadDatabaseHead CSM, ITIL x3, Teradata Assc, MS SQL Server, Project +, Server +, A+, N+, MS Project, CAPM, RMP Posts: 2,476Member ■■■■■■■■■□
    You have control of the way you feel unless you give that to her. I would recommend not....
  • LonerVampLonerVamp OSCP, GCFA, GWAPT, CISSP, OSWP, CCNA Cyber Ops, Sec+, Linux+, AWS CCP, CCSK Posts: 396Member ■■■■■□□□□□
    More than likely you will never get past a poor boss. You could document situations, especially any of those that violate actual laws or company policies, and bring them up to HR or another manager, but you need to be prepared to be looking for another job if you do that.

    You could also try to work with her. If you're learning the new system too slowly, maybe suggest some realistic goals, tasks, or milestones to improve. Maybe point out difficult spots to turn over to developers or whomever made the system. You can also try to deflect some of the yelling by jumping in quick to suggest solutions or help out so that she pipes down and doesn't stress everyone out (take the load if you feel like you can handle it). Maybe she just needs to see a higher level of urgency in your reactions to her.

    Also, make sure it's not just you. Take a hard look about whether your boss is pleasing the people she reports to and her own peers. Is your team actually underperforming (maybe your old boss just had lower standards) and putting her in poor position? Maybe the poorness is above her? (I doubt you're wrong about this, but it's always best to take a step back and double-check things objectively.)

    Ultimately, though, look for a new job. :) And be sure to not let your coworkers down; give an honest exit interview to someone higher than her. If she's in the room, so be it.

    Security Engineer/Analyst/Geek, Red & Blue Teams
    2019 goals: GWAPT, Linux+, (possible: SLAE, CCSK, AWS SA-A)
  • PaycheckPaycheck Posts: 16Member ■■■□□□□□□□
    I hate bosses like that.

    Tough choice there. I'm the sort of person who will take abuse.... up to a point. And when that point is crossed, it's on.

    I don't think I've ever been fired because of it, but there have been a time or two when a boss crossed the line and I said
    something to the effect of "All right, look here, motherF'er".

    I've never seen a boss of mine outside of work, but if one was a jerk, and I saw him at the local supermarket or something,
    hey, we aren't at work. You're nobody special to me. You have no authoriTAH here.

    In the case of your boss, my likely approach would be something like telling her at 9:30 am "We're gonna have a little
    talk after work. I'll see you at 5 by your car". And no more. Let her imagination drive her crazy all day. That alone would
    give me satisfaction.
  • TechGromitTechGromit A+, N+, GSEC, GCIH, GREM, Ontario, NY Posts: 1,919Member ■■■■■■■■□□
    Easy, I quit! Problem solved.
    Document everything, **** your document trail to HR each week.

    This is highly dependent on senior management, the bad manager could be forced out, but just as likely you'll be seen as a complainer and you'll be forced out. Unless it's a situation as someone mentioned above some key people depart and list the reasons they are leaving because of the bad manager, chances are nothing will change. It's not worth the stress, just move on.

    I've actually seen this before, the new supervisor of the documentation department was buddies with the department manager, and despite several "Federal Employees" leaving because of her, she's still in her position. Federal employees don't quit good paying jobs without good reasons. Several contractors were fired too, but contractors don't matter and are disposable in Fed world. I remember one girl tried to switch departments and when the department manager blocked her, she ended up quitting her Federal job over the stress.

    Paycheck wrote: »
    In the case of your boss, my likely approach would be something like telling her at 9:30 am "We're gonna have a little
    talk after work. I'll see you at 5 by your car". And no more. Let her imagination drive her crazy all day. That alone would
    give me satisfaction.

    Bad Idea, this could be seen as threatening a supervisor, not only could this get you fired, it could easily get you blacklisted in an industry and be a career ending move. Don't do this.
    Still searching for the corner in a round room.
  • EANxEANx Posts: 1,078Member ■■■■■■■■□□
    As that upper manager, I can say that a lot depends on our relationship. I always cultivate relationships with people in several layers of me (up and down) for this purpose but if George X comes by whining about his boss, and I don't know George, I'll support the boss. If Bob who I've known for a year or two comes by complaining and I know Bob does good work, I am far more likely to listen. I realize it's not appropriate to this specific second, but this is why it's important to cultivate relationships up and down the chain.
  • TheFORCETheFORCE Senior Member Posts: 2,297Member ■■■■■■■■□□
    What job do you do? I'd say go to HR or get up and leave, find a new job
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